Straight Line of the Day: Time Magazine Explained That They Picked Obama As “Person of the Year” Because…

Works like this: I feed you Moon Nukers a straight line, and you hit me with a punch line in the comments.

Time Magazine explained that they picked Obama as “Person of the Year” because…

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62 Comments

  1. … After naming Hitler in `38, Stalin in `39 & `42, Khrushchev in `57, Khomeini in `79 and Putin in 2007 how could they not?

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  2. …because the Adolph Reed Jr. said in a NYT op-ed that Time needed a token black for Person Of the Year. (Actually he said “toking,” but…)

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  3. 5.g says:
    December 20th, 2012 at 12:10 pm
    … After naming Hitler in `38, Stalin in `39 & `42, Khrushchev in `57, Khomeini in `79 and Putin in 2007 how could they not?

    Dont forget Gorbachev as man of the decade-for the eighties!! I seem to remember a guy named Ronald Reagan winning the cold war but maybe I’ve got that backwards….

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  4. …they found time in the Gulag less appealing
    …they couldn’t think of anyone else who had done more for the cause of communism
    …there are no other people. You sub-humans should have figured that out by now.

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  5. They felt threatened when Obama was talking about the Mayan calendar and mentioned something about the ‘End of Time.’

    …because Biden’s mouth was already booked.

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  6. Because, they figured that with their solid track record of featuring well-established dictators, it was time to branch out into the “Dictator Wannabe” category.

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  7. what better way to mark the passing of the year in which the world ends than by honoring the world’s biggest failure?

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  8. . . . the rest of the candidates considered were Sandra Fluke, Christopher Stevens, Hillary Clinton, and Pee-Wee Herman.

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  9. … because it was the only way to get anyone talking about/paying attention to…. what’s the magazine called again?

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  10. …they’re a bunch of left-wing, America hating communist dickweeds, and Obama is their god-king.

    Oh, was this supposed to be funny instead of the truth? My bad.

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  11. “31 Responses to “Straight Line of the Day: Time Magazine Explained That They Picked Obama As “Person of the Year” Because…” Their first choice had been killed by Seal Team 6 at his compound.

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  12. Time Magazine explained that they picked Obama as “Person of the Year” because.

    Just because.

    Or BECAUSE THEY SAID SO!!!!

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  13. “Time Magazine Explained That They Picked Obama As “Person of the Year” Because…” he closed Gitmo, created a healthy job market, fixed the economy, restored pride in America…no, wait a minute…Well, he finally got above a 50% approval rating, didn’t he?

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  14. …no matter how many times he pees down their legs they always end up believing it’s raining pee.

    …the dognapper’s note told them to.

    …they had no money to pay a photographer to shoot the real winner so they just retitled their Worse Than Hitler issue.

    …they got on the hipster irony bandwagon a little late, or created it, only time will tell.

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  15. Time Magazine Explained That They Picked Obama As “Person of the Year” Because…they thought this was the Year of the Dog in China.

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  16. Time Magazine Explained That They Picked Obama As “Person of the Year” Because…They figured they would sell a least a couple of hundred issues to Obama; So that he has a gift to give every head of state as he travels.

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  17. Time Magazine Explained That They Picked Obama As “Person of the Year” Because…We wanted to prove we are not racists, we do not judge people by the color of their skin…Although, he IS black, and that’s cool, dude.

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  18. Time Magazine Explained That They Picked Obama As “Person of the Year” Because…the editors are as clueless as Biden.

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  19. Time Magazine Explained That They Picked Obama As “Person of the Year” Because…they really LIKE free stuff !

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  20. They held an election among their own employees, and it was unanimous. Scurrilous lies to the contrary, there was no public threat of Layoffs for the dissenters.

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  21. Time Magazine explained that they picked Obama as “Person of the Year” because…it was either that or go with Chupacabra.

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  22. Time Magazine explained that they picked Obama as “Person of the Year” because…the editorial board was actually making a coy statement of its own impotence rather than the president’s competence.

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  23. Time Magazine explained that they picked Obama as “Person of the Year” because…Richard Stengel cut its production budget, so they had to use the proofs from last year.

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  24. Time Magazine explained that they picked Obama as “Person of the Year” because…Hugo Chavez didn’t die in time.

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  25. Time Magazine explained that they picked Obama as “Person of the Year” because…they couldn’t get North Korea’s King Tongmyong to sit still on his unicorn.

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  26. Time Magazine explained that they picked Obama as “Person of the Year” because…it was only natural to choose an androgynous person to fit the magazine’s androgynous award.

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  27. Time Magazine explained that they picked Obama as “Person of the Year” because…they felt the selection would elevate the magazine’s stature to that of the Nobel Prize, and they were right.

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  28. Time Magazine explained that they picked Obama as “Person of the Year” because…they wanted to build on their legacy of picking communists, fascists, socialists and radicals such as as Joseph Stalin, Deng Xiaoping, Yuri Andropov, Ayatollah Khomeini, Nikita Krushchev, Charles de Gaulle, Adolf Hitler, and Pierre Laval.

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  29. Time Magazine explained that they picked Obama as “Person of the Year” because…in the past they’d picked presidents and even the head of General Motors, but with this choice they got the president AND the head of GM.

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  30. Time Magazine explained that they picked Obama as “Person of the Year” because…they believe Second Amendment rights include the right to buy targets in book stores and magazine stands, or even have them delivered by subscription to homes.

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  31. Because Lenin, Hitler, Stalin and Mao only dreamed of destroying the United States.
    Obama actually DID IT!

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  32. Pingback: IMAO » Blog Archive » You’ve Been Judged!

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