Random Thoughts: JFK Assassination, Best Star Wars Quotes, and Amazon Drones

Posted on December 2, 2013 9:42 am

BREAKING: Joe Biden arrested for participating in the “knockout game.”

If only JFK had lived long enough to be remembered as a mediocre president.

Do feminists ever consider that they hold some activities in high importance simply because those activities are mainly associated with men?

And maybe they are dismissive of some activities – like homemaker – simply because it’s mainly associated with women?

Frankly, I think JFK committed suicide and the whole Oswald thing was to cover it up.

Or maybe JFK faked his death so he could get away with murdering his brother, Robert. The perfect crime.

Or maybe JFK faked his death, had surgery to change his appearance, and used Chappaquiddick to replace his brother Ted.

That would explain why Ted Kennedy seemed like a such a sociopath about that incident. It all makes sense.

Or maybe JFK didn’t get killed in Texas, but we all did. And now we’re haunting him. This theory may still need work.

“So is this government a metaphor for me or for the people I don’t like?” -Obama watching Hunger Games

My evidence for this is I don’t have any evidence, which points to how well they covered it up.

If JFK hadn’t been assassinated, would have led us to nuclear war. Remorseful future JFK makes time machine to assassinate self. #MakesSense

Does anyone have any actual proof Canada exists?

You could just put up a couple maple leaf flags anywhere in America and people would think it’s Canada. Easy to fake.

Whoever really killed JFK has probably fled to Mexico by now.

Did Microsoft purposely pick the 50th anniversary of the assassination of JFK to launch the XBox One?

Who is more responsible for the death of JFK? The Communist who actually shot him or the people on the right who don’t like taxes?

Are jokes about JFK’s assassination offensive? Is anyone still alive from back when it happened?

In a way, didn’t we all murder JFK? Well, not me; I have an alibi.

The media must have killed JFK; they had the most to gain from all the JFK assassination coverage.

“No one can be told what the Matrix is; you have to–”
“Shut up, Morpheus. You’re trapped inside a computer, kid.”

“Nuke it from orbit!” #beststarwarsquotes

“Ah! You stupid rebels! Stop blowing up my Death Stars, you guys!” #beststarwarsquotes

“He’s too old to begin his training as a jedi.”
“He’s not even born yet.”
“TOO OLD!” #beststarwarsquotes

“So, Darth Vader, do you expect me to turn to the dark side?”
“No, Mr. Skywalker, I expect you to DIE!” #beststarwarsquotes

“Play it again, weird blue elephant guy.” #beststarwarsquotes

“You want war? I’ll give you war… a star war!” #beststarwarsquotes

“These are not the droids you’re looking for… They’re brand new ones I just bought. Yeah, that’s the ticket!” #beststarwarsquotes

“I’m going to use the force to give you cancer… HEAD cancer!” #beststarwarsquotes

“I’m pivoting to jobs.” #beststarwarsquotes

“Look into my eyes. You are getting very sleepy. You will now obey the force.” #beststarwarsquotes

“Are you a cop? Blast him! He’s a cop!” #beststarwarsquotes

“And I would have gotten away with it if it weren’t for you meddling rebels!” #beststarwarsquotes

“Did you say Moff Tarkin is here? What the hell is a moff?” #beststarwarsquotes

“Luke! Use the force! It’s the only way to save Christmas!” #beststarwarsquotes

“I’m Luke Skywalker and I want to be a pirate.” #beststarwarsquotes

“Sweep the leg, Luke!” #beststarwarsquotes

“No one can be told what the Matrix is, but it can be expressed in song.” -The Matrix: The Musical

The only thing that makes me sad about the death of Brian on Family Guy was that I didn’t get to kill him myself.

Actually, I’ve never watched that show since it was canceled.

Obamacare’s new slogan, “No matter what, you’ll eventually die anyway,” is an interesting gambit.

I have an idea to fix Obamacare. First, I’ll need a million dollars. Second, I’ll need a flux capacitor.

Oh and I’ll need plutonium. And don’t act like you suddenly have a problem with shady characters getting their hands on radioactive material.

Maybe we should lose the labels socialism and capitalism; you have freedom and government coercion — those are your two choices.

We’re coming to the point where big public hate hoaxes are more common than actual big public hate incidents.

Like most young conservatives, my earliest political influences were Eeyore, Raphael the ninja turtle, and Skeletor.

Obama: “Remember to talk up Obamacare to your family at Thanksgiving. Don’t worry; Obamacare covers getting repeatedly punched in the face.”

Halfway through second season of Breaking Bad. That is a good show.

Pretty amazing NCIS has gained in audience steady for 10 years. Even die hards usually get tired after that long. Never seen it, myself.

Thought Catching Fire was better than the first Hunger Games movie — and I liked the first Hunger Games movie.

One criticism of Breaking Bad so far is that season one ended an episode early. The season 2 premiere would have been good finale and 2nd episode good premiere.

Amazon has unveiled a new drone program to attack brick and mortar stores with hellfire missiles.

“Please leave packaging feedback; you have 20 seconds to comply.” -Amazon’s new ED-209 delivery drone

Every day hold up a mirror in front of your robot and ask, “Who is that?” If it says, “That’s me!” it’s self-aware and must be destroyed.

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9 Responses to “Random Thoughts: JFK Assassination, Best Star Wars Quotes, and Amazon Drones”

  1. Basil says:

    One criticism of Breaking Bad so far is that season one ended an episode early. The season 2 premiere would have been good finale and 2nd episode good premiere.

    The reason it was that way? Writers’ strike. They were gonna kill off Jesse (really) but the impending strike caused to compress some things, re-work some things, and we got what we got. It all worked out, though.

  2. La Longue Carabine says:

    The only thing that makes me sad about the death of Brian on Family Guy was that I didn’t get to kill him myself.

    You watched Family Guy? More than once?! So much for your advice on TV shows mattering to me. For example:

    Halfway through second season of Breaking Bad. That is a good show.

    On your advice I’ll skip watching it.

    Pretty amazing NCIS has gained in audience steady for 10 years. Even die hards usually get tired after that long. Never seen it, myself.

    More proof your advice on TV is useless to me.

    Thought Catching Fire was better than the first Hunger Games movie — and I liked the first Hunger Games movie.

    First Hunger Games? Meh. Watched it out of boredom — it was not even an inadequate a solution. Thinking back on it, it was…ZZZZzzzz.

    Every day hold up a mirror in front of your robot and ask, “Who is that?” If it says, “That’s me!” it’s self-aware and must be destroyed.

    You write that show and I’ll watch it! Oh, wait. That’s just “Do Android Dream…” I mean “Blade Runner”. Not a bad show. ( I never judge a show by the book.)

  3. Iago Compostela says:

    The plot device of JFK travelling in time to assassinate himself in order to stave off a bigger disaster was actually used in the British sci-fi series, RED DWARF. Pretty Funny.

  4. Harvey says:

    @3 – Clip from that episode:

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=W6naJ08Tskk

  5. zzyzx says:

    Watching Family Guy makes me itch.

  6. Iowa Jim says:

    If only JFK had lived long enough to be remembered as a mediocre president.

    He cut taxes and tariffs and launched the space program. I’m not a fan of the Kennedy clan, and certainly not of JFK’s personal life, but he stacks up pretty well against the Presidents during my lifetime not named Eisenhower or Reagan.

  7. Veeshir says:

    I think JFK is an immortal.
    He “died” as JFK, came back as Elvis, “died” as Elvis, came back as Kurt Cobain, “died”.

    I’m not sure who he is now. Maybe he’s a blogger with multiple personalities.

  8. Fred Key says:

    Wasn’t it “I’m Luke Skywalker and I want to be a mighty pirate”? Maybe it’s been too long since I played Ewok Island.

  9. Oppo says:

    “All Ewok and no play . . . “

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