Straight Line of the Day: I’m “Ready for Hillary” Because…

Posted on May 7, 2014 12:00 pm

Inspiration for today’s question comes from Anonymiss of Nuking Politics [High Praise!] who sent this actual picture of an actual bumper sticker:

Works like this: I feed you Moon Nukers a straight line, and you hit me with a punch line in the comments.

I’m “ready for Hillary” because…

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50 Responses to “Straight Line of the Day: I’m “Ready for Hillary” Because…”

  1. Chip says:

    I’m “ready for Hillary”… to have a house dropped on her.

    Or equally applicable…. to have a bucket of water thrown on her.

  2. Steve H says:

    I’m “ready for Hillary” because…

    … I’ve eaten barbed wire, thumb tacks, and cherry bombs for breakfast.
    … I want my punishment President to have a more masculine face than Obama’s.
    … I have a scarecrow fetish.
    … I stupidly believe things can’t get any worse.

  3. Jimmy says:

    …because I have a tendency to self-flagellate.

  4. DamnCat says:

    “…nothing really matters, nothing really matters to me.”
    – Freddy Mercury-

  5. Bob B says:

    …you always prepare for the worst.

  6. CrabbyOldBat says:

    . . . I have been dead for years, which is how Democrats prefer their voters.

  7. Bob B says:

    …you never can tell when the next “bimbo eruption” will break out.

  8. Bob B says:

    …you might end up paying tribute to a foreign power – just ask Ethelred the Unready.

  9. Iowa Jim says:

    . . . I like my Presidents a little on the sleazy side

    . . . it’s very easy to tell when she’s lying – her lips move (when they don’t she’s just concealing things)

    . . . I own stock in a pantsuit manufacturer

  10. can of spam says:

    … slitting my wrists with razor blades just isn’t working.

  11. jw says:

    …because i’m really really stupid.

  12. Fred Key says:

    …because I killed Inigo Montoya’s father, and I’m preparing to die.

  13. can of spam says:

    … because nothing says “progress” like a bitter geriatric lesbian with a Mao fetish who has no qualifications except her husband’s last name.

  14. zzyzx says:

    Because I’m an idiot. ~ A. Idiot

  15. zzyzx says:

    @13…All true, and yet she is still more qualified than the current occupant.

  16. Scott says:

    … Because something MUST be done about white privilege!

    … Something about a fat lady singing…

  17. Jimmy says:

    …I asked my Obamacare doctor and he said Trihillary potus was good for me.

  18. Ken says:

    ….I’ve stockpiled canned food, bottled water, and plenty of ammo.

  19. pbunyan says:

    she can’t end up being less than the 2nd worst President in all of human history. (Of course no one will ever again do less than that as the #1 spot is secure for all time now.)

  20. c64wood says:

    I’m “ready for Hillary” because…

    …at this point what difference does it make?

    …Hillarycare doesn’t look half bad now.

    …Bill finally wants to put the “W” keys back on all the keyboards

    …the sound of her whooshing corduroy pant-suits excites me to no end.

  21. Burt says:

    …it will prove conclusively that at least one of our Constitution’s amendments is recognized.

  22. Burt says:

    …maybe she’ll bring back the silverware.

  23. hari says:

    I’m “Ready for Hillary” because…

    …I hate America.

    …I’m praying for the Apocalypse.

    …I need T.P. .for my bunghole.

    …the thought of hot Hillary/Monica action is marginally more enticing than the thought of hot Bill/Monica action.

    …Ron Brown, Vince Foster, the Benghazi consulate staff – if there’s one thing the Clintons have proven adept at, it’s trimming the size of government, one employee at a time.

  24. Fatwa Arbuckle says:

    I’m “Ready for Hillary” because…

    …I like big ankles and I cannot lie.

  25. Burt says:

    …I want to see if Huma Abedin can replace Valarie Jarrett.

  26. Oppo says:

    … I’d like to see a candidate who’s both locked and loaded.

    … I have one more shoe, and my aim is improving.

  27. Oppo says:

    … she ain’t no ways tarred yet, and we can help with that.

  28. Oppo says:

    … I’m sick of being called racist. I want to be called sexist instead.

  29. Jimmy says:

    …I want to see her battle the Vast, Rightwing Conspiracy – and LOSE!

    Let’s be honest.

  30. NO_MO_BAMA says:

    I’m “ready for Hillary” because it’s about time America had a white female communist who hasn’t accomplished anything in 60+ years as president, yes we can!

  31. Oppo says:

    … the seance is settled.

    (yeah, I know we’ve used that line in the past, but it seems particularly apropos here.)

  32. Oppo says:

    … I’ve got my cross, some garlic, and a (Coors) Silver Bullet.

  33. Jimmy says:

    …because, gee! She could select Jeb Bush as her running mate – man, that’s double the value, right there!

    Clinton / Bush 2016!!!!

  34. Dohtimes says:

    …of recent Kickstarter donations to my couplets using rhymes with hag protest sign business.

    …she has the handcuff key, the whip, and she said so.

    …my name is Tommy and I play pinball.

    …that radioactive spider bite makes it hard for ugly to sneak up behind me.

  35. Oppo says:

    … I enjoy Evitameatavegamin.

    … I like what Daniel Greenfield wrote (12/9/13) about “The Inevitable Hillary”s honor (she is widely celebrated for ” . . . abusing the State Department to prep for a presidential run with a non-stop world tour while neglecting desperate pleas for help from the Benghazi mission which had been under siege for months”)

    and her experience (“At the Benghazi hearings, Hillery famously demanded to know what difference it made. The same could be said of her life.”)

  36. Writer says:

    … if it is between Hitlery and Jeb Bush, the point is moot.

  37. Oppo says:

    … then she and Merkel could have a GATT fight.

    … you can fight fire with fire, so maybe you can fight a radical sheik with Radical Chic.

  38. Oppo says:

    … the Red carpet is rolled out.

  39. Jimmy says:

    @37 Oppo: Merkel would turn her into cat food.

  40. Oppo says:

    … y’know, Wynette?

    … it would be nice to have a president, for a switch, who didn’t resign a law licencse under mysterious circumstances, spend the night of the Benghazi attack in an unknown location, and only falsely pretended to be from a state, not a country, to run for office.

  41. tanstaafl44 says:

    I want the destruction of civilization to happen during my lifetime, and it’s only half-done so far

  42. NO_MO_BAMA says:

    I’m “ready for Hillary” because she could select Barry Soetoro as her running mate and then resign, yes we can!

  43. NO_MO_BAMA says:

    because it’s about time we had a woman who’s hyphenated and then de-hyphenated her name as president.

  44. NO_MO_BAMA says:

    because she is in an interracial marriage (Bill was the real first black president) so she can call you sexist AND racist, yes she can!

  45. mikeszekely says:

    I’m ready for Hillary because…

    …honestly, it only took minor adjustments to the preparations I’d already done to be ready for a zombie apocalypse.

  46. Bob in Feenicks says:

    …it was 3 am in DC when Benghazi occurred. -She did warn us.

    …we’ll finally have a Clinton in the Oval Office that we won’t have to worry about our daughters interning for… I think.

  47. Rich says:

    I’m ready for Hillary because …

    … my mistress already has a stained blue dress.

  48. Karen says:

    … Because my expectation of politicians couldn’t get any lower.

    … I’m tired of being called ‘racist’, I think I’ll try ‘sexist’ for a change.

  49. Mad Dawg says:

    I have this sticker on my truck. Only thing is it is on the front bumper.

  50. Anonymiss says:

    @49 Hahaha Cookies to Mad Dawg!

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