Straight Line of the Day: I’m “Ready for Hillary” Because…

Inspiration for today’s question comes from Anonymiss of Nuking Politics [High Praise!] who sent this actual picture of an actual bumper sticker:

Works like this: I feed you Moon Nukers a straight line, and you hit me with a punch line in the comments.

I’m “ready for Hillary” because…

Send to Kindle
1 Star (Hated it)2 Stars3 Stars4 Stars5 Stars (Awesome) (4 votes, average: 5.00 out of 5)

50 Comments

  1. I’m “ready for Hillary”… to have a house dropped on her.

    Or equally applicable…. to have a bucket of water thrown on her.

    0

    0
  2. I’m “ready for Hillary” because…

    … I’ve eaten barbed wire, thumb tacks, and cherry bombs for breakfast.
    … I want my punishment President to have a more masculine face than Obama’s.
    … I have a scarecrow fetish.
    … I stupidly believe things can’t get any worse.

    0

    0
  3. . . . I like my Presidents a little on the sleazy side

    . . . it’s very easy to tell when she’s lying – her lips move (when they don’t she’s just concealing things)

    . . . I own stock in a pantsuit manufacturer

    0

    0
  4. … because nothing says “progress” like a bitter geriatric lesbian with a Mao fetish who has no qualifications except her husband’s last name.

    0

    0
  5. … Because something MUST be done about white privilege!

    … Something about a fat lady singing…

    0

    0
  6. she can’t end up being less than the 2nd worst President in all of human history. (Of course no one will ever again do less than that as the #1 spot is secure for all time now.)

    0

    0
  7. I’m “ready for Hillary” because…

    …at this point what difference does it make?

    …Hillarycare doesn’t look half bad now.

    …Bill finally wants to put the “W” keys back on all the keyboards

    …the sound of her whooshing corduroy pant-suits excites me to no end.

    0

    0
  8. I’m “Ready for Hillary” because…

    …I hate America.

    …I’m praying for the Apocalypse.

    …I need T.P. .for my bunghole.

    …the thought of hot Hillary/Monica action is marginally more enticing than the thought of hot Bill/Monica action.

    …Ron Brown, Vince Foster, the Benghazi consulate staff – if there’s one thing the Clintons have proven adept at, it’s trimming the size of government, one employee at a time.

    0

    0
  9. I’m “Ready for Hillary” because…

    …I like big ankles and I cannot lie.

    0

    0
  10. … I’d like to see a candidate who’s both locked and loaded.

    … I have one more shoe, and my aim is improving.

    0

    0
  11. …I want to see her battle the Vast, Rightwing Conspiracy – and LOSE!

    Let’s be honest.

    0

    0
  12. I’m “ready for Hillary” because it’s about time America had a white female communist who hasn’t accomplished anything in 60+ years as president, yes we can!

    0

    0
  13. … the seance is settled.

    (yeah, I know we’ve used that line in the past, but it seems particularly apropos here.)

    0

    0
  14. …because, gee! She could select Jeb Bush as her running mate – man, that’s double the value, right there!

    Clinton / Bush 2016!!!!

    0

    0
  15. …of recent Kickstarter donations to my couplets using rhymes with hag protest sign business.

    …she has the handcuff key, the whip, and she said so.

    …my name is Tommy and I play pinball.

    …that radioactive spider bite makes it hard for ugly to sneak up behind me.

    0

    0
  16. … I enjoy Evitameatavegamin.

    … I like what Daniel Greenfield wrote (12/9/13) about “The Inevitable Hillary”s honor (she is widely celebrated for ” . . . abusing the State Department to prep for a presidential run with a non-stop world tour while neglecting desperate pleas for help from the Benghazi mission which had been under siege for months”)

    and her experience (“At the Benghazi hearings, Hillery famously demanded to know what difference it made. The same could be said of her life.”)

    0

    0
  17. … then she and Merkel could have a GATT fight.

    … you can fight fire with fire, so maybe you can fight a radical sheik with Radical Chic.

    0

    0
  18. … y’know, Wynette?

    … it would be nice to have a president, for a switch, who didn’t resign a law licencse under mysterious circumstances, spend the night of the Benghazi attack in an unknown location, and only falsely pretended to be from a state, not a country, to run for office.

    0

    0
  19. I want the destruction of civilization to happen during my lifetime, and it’s only half-done so far

    0

    0
  20. because she is in an interracial marriage (Bill was the real first black president) so she can call you sexist AND racist, yes she can!

    0

    0
  21. I’m ready for Hillary because…

    …honestly, it only took minor adjustments to the preparations I’d already done to be ready for a zombie apocalypse.

    0

    0
  22. …it was 3 am in DC when Benghazi occurred. -She did warn us.

    …we’ll finally have a Clinton in the Oval Office that we won’t have to worry about our daughters interning for… I think.

    0

    0
  23. … Because my expectation of politicians couldn’t get any lower.

    … I’m tired of being called ‘racist’, I think I’ll try ‘sexist’ for a change.

    0

    0

Comments are closed.