I Am Bewhiskered! Respect Me!

As a Facially-Haired American, I thought I’d set the record straight on the traditions of my people.

The words ‘beard’ and ‘whiskers’ connoted distinctive styles in mid-nineteenth century America-and contemporaries used the words differently than we do. The word ‘whiskers’ typically referred not only to bushy cheek growths-to massive sideburns and muttonchops, as it does in the present-but to what we would call a ‘wreath beard’ as well: to facial hair configurations that met beneath the jaw. Edgar Allan Poe, for example, described one fellow writer as having “[t]hick whiskers meeting under the chin,” and another whose “hair and whiskers are dark, the latter meeting voluminously beneath the chin.” One might even use the word whisker to refer to what we would call a moustache. Writer Edward L. Carey, for instance, referred to a character with a “whisker on [his] upper lip” in a story entitled “The Young Artist.”

‘Beards,’ on the other hand, were more unruly affairs. In an article in the American Phrenological Journal entitled “Wearing the Beard,” for instance, the anonymous F.W.E. instructed beard-wearers that, contrary to the practice of bewhiskered men, “Thou shalt not cut it off at all, but let it grow. Let it grow, all of it, as long as it will.” What often distinguished beards from whiskers, then, was neither facial real-estate nor the length of one’s hair-one might wear a short, untamed beard-in-the-making or a long, carefully-sculpted set of whiskers-but rather one’s relationship to the work of men’s grooming. Hairy men who continued to visit the barber, trim their mustaches, or wax their locks wore whiskers; men who let their facial hair grow unrestrained sported beards.

Vigilance!

A new report shows that FBI counterterrorism agents are visiting gun shops to investigate people who talk about “big government”.

You know, like those paranoid anarchist types who complain about government investigating things without probable cause.

Wisdom of the Day: Sword Frankenstein Forward NFL

Art: The Flying Castle

I got these from 4of7 at Christmas, but since I’m a horrible, neglectful blogger (as you all can attest to), I hadn’t shared them with you all yet.

The first is called the “Christmas Net”, and would have been more relevant back when I got it:

4of7 Christmas Net

And the second is my favorite one so far, the “Flying Castle”:

4of7 Flying Castle

I think I might frame it for Buttercup’s room.

I’ll be a better blogger in the future; I promise.

Random Thoughts: Gravity, English, and Star Wars Day

Since Isaac Newton invented gravity, every time you fall down he gets a nickel.

It’s the belief of Democrats that if blacks don’t think a certain way, it’s okay to use slurs against them.

“I have an idea: the past tense of read will be spelled the same but pronounced differently.”
“Why?”
“Because I hate mankind.”

i before e, except after c, or in so many other cases the rhyme is meaningless. English laughs at your attempt to place rules upon it.

In honor of Star Wars day, I’m going to come up with lazy scientific explanations for my daughter’s fairy tales to destroy their magic.