Archive of entries posted on 28th May 2014
It’s Like the 8-Track Tape of Reality TV
Recent ratings show that viewer interest in talent-competition reality shows is in steep decline.
Leading to a new show: “Who Wants to Be an Unemployed Grouchy British Judge?”
Ok, That Makes Sense Now
Link of the Day: Finally: a #PhonyResponse to #PhonyScandals
[High Praise! to Michelle Obama’s Mirror]
Finally: a #PhonyResponse to #PhonyScandals
[Think you have a link that’s IMAO-worthy? Send it to harvolson@gmail.com. If I use your link, you will receive High Praise! (assuming you remember to put your name in the email)]
Wisdom of the Day: Card Strong Love
My business card just says "Brian Essbe, business card distributor"
— Brian Essbe (@SortaBad) May 27, 2014
I am strong, probably, I haven't checked.
— Possibly Rabbit IRL? (@doctorveritas) May 27, 2014
"My wife and I are SO in love. Always finishing each other's…"
(silence)
(silence)
*Russian accent* "You give me Green Card now, yes?"
— Fight Hawk (@aka_fatman) May 27, 2014
The Kind of Freedom Obama Supports
A new report shows that last year the Obama administration released 36,000 immigrants convicted of violent crimes like homicide and sexual assault.
That sounds bad, but the important thing is that none of them had made YouTube videos that offended Muslims.
Obama Warned Us – Rewards
You’ll never guess how @OFA volunteers rewarded local business owners for raising their wages: http://ofa.bo/dhj
“That’s right – with demands for even HIGHER wages. Which is why you should never negotiate with terrorists.”
Straight Line of the Day: To Defend Her School Lunch Program, Michelle Obama…
Works like this: I feed you Moon Nukers a straight line, and you hit me with a punch line in the comments.
To defend her school lunch program, Michelle Obama…
Random Thoughts: Photo ID, Guns, and Climate Change
We need more downward economic mobility. There are many useless people in the upper class who in a more just world should be homeless.
Obama may have good intentions in pursuing the Anti-Life Equation, but like Obamacare, I think it will just makes things worse.
I can’t let this go. I need an explanation of who came up with the hat and why and what was Pharrell thinking when he decided to wear it.
Let’s get rid of all guns. I’ll get rid of mine last, if that’s okay.
I hope no one is proposing you need a photo ID to buy a gun because we all know the racist implications of that.
A great way to get rid of all guns would be to rename them. Now there are no more guns in the world. Lots of nugs, though.
Michael Bay makes movies so he can earn enough money to fund his time machine program so he can literally go back and destroy our childhoods.
The tradition with mass shootings is to relieve anger by yelling at guns for a week or two afterward.
If misogyny is the problem, shouldn’t there have been more mass shootings during the Mad Men era? Are we actually worse than we used to be?
Have we tried taxing poverty?
“It’s bad science unless it reinforces what I already believe.” -everyone
What if the climate is changing into something better? Why does everyone have to get in the way of change?
Obama ran on change, then he was like, “I don’t like climate change!” Stop being so incoherent.
Let’s all make long lists of things we don’t like and say those are the cause of mass shootings. I’ll start: Clamshell packaging.
Got the kids tonight. Anyone know where I can Google to find what kids eat?
Seen people talking about this new show CSI: Normative.
Tried to go back in time and kill Hitler, but I accidentally killed this guy called Archduke Ferdinand. Did that affect history?
I got a great idea for a new Disney movie unless they’ve already done one about a guy being turned into a llama.
My favorite white privilege is slathering mayo on everything.
Dang Touristas!
A new report shows that some California patients are finding it more affordable to drive to Tijuana, Mexico for health care treatment than to use their high-deductible Obamacare plans.
Thanks to Obamacare, soon MEXICO will have to build a border fence.