We need more downward economic mobility. There are many useless people in the upper class who in a more just world should be homeless.

Obama may have good intentions in pursuing the Anti-Life Equation, but like Obamacare, I think it will just makes things worse.

I can’t let this go. I need an explanation of who came up with the hat and why and what was Pharrell thinking when he decided to wear it.

Let’s get rid of all guns. I’ll get rid of mine last, if that’s okay.

I hope no one is proposing you need a photo ID to buy a gun because we all know the racist implications of that.

A great way to get rid of all guns would be to rename them. Now there are no more guns in the world. Lots of nugs, though.

Michael Bay makes movies so he can earn enough money to fund his time machine program so he can literally go back and destroy our childhoods.

The tradition with mass shootings is to relieve anger by yelling at guns for a week or two afterward.

If misogyny is the problem, shouldn’t there have been more mass shootings during the Mad Men era? Are we actually worse than we used to be?

Have we tried taxing poverty?

“It’s bad science unless it reinforces what I already believe.” -everyone

What if the climate is changing into something better? Why does everyone have to get in the way of change?

Obama ran on change, then he was like, “I don’t like climate change!” Stop being so incoherent.

Let’s all make long lists of things we don’t like and say those are the cause of mass shootings. I’ll start: Clamshell packaging.

Got the kids tonight. Anyone know where I can Google to find what kids eat?

Seen people talking about this new show CSI: Normative.

Tried to go back in time and kill Hitler, but I accidentally killed this guy called Archduke Ferdinand. Did that affect history?

I got a great idea for a new Disney movie unless they’ve already done one about a guy being turned into a llama.

My favorite white privilege is slathering mayo on everything.