The right argue Benghazi was exceptional lying and incompetency from the WH while the left argues it was normal lying and incompetency.

Educating our children is really important, so let’s put bureaucrats in charge of it. They’ll do government-quality work, I’m sure.

I’m pretty tolerant of other viewpoints; I’ve never murdered anyone just for disagreeing with me. Not JUST for that.

Instead of trying to end it, shouldn’t we be trying to make sure all races get white privilege?

“Daddy, I’m hungry, but my name is still Buttercup.”
You think you can outsmart me, child?

I know there’s nostalgia because of how bad the current president is, but still keep in mind that Bill Clinton is a horrible human being.

“This isn’t so bad; he doesn’t have to deal with any microaggressions.” -left-winger watching 12 Years a Slave

Some college kid told me to, “Check my privilege.” Now I need to Google the Linux command for that.

Make sure to self-check your privilege monthly and once a year get it a doctor’s check up. Keep your privilege healthy.

PHASE 1: Steal underwear.
PHASE 2: Don’t talk about fight club.
PHASE 3: Profit!

You think sports would have wised up by now and added “Only humans are allowed to play” to the rule books.

In reality, the Secret Service code “Olympus has fallen” just means that Obama is up for the day.

Oh. Another report saying scientists are super duper certain about climate change. We’re all totally gonna listen now.

If the world does end, all you people can say, “Ha! Told you so!” but might as fell face the facts that no one is going to listen until then.

If the people behind climate science were so fact-based, they’d realize by now it’s useless to keep trying to convince us about it.

The MSM scrutinizes every person a Republican is associated with but didn’t care that Joe Biden was one of the founders of Team Rocket.

I don’t think I’d be very charitable in Hyrule. I’d be yelling at every beggar, “Go smash some pots, you lazy bum!”

Well, I already do that now.

“It’s like Garfield without Garfield, but it’s Batman without Batman.” -pitch for Gotham

Remember before the election when Obama thought the mic was off and leaned over to Putin and said, “Hail Hydra.”?

A good way to avoid gun violence is to not attack people or break into their homes.

“We’ve captured Jack Bauer. We have him in the building.”
*everyone flees the building*

I remember The Death of Superman in 1992. It was a pretty lame death – carbon monoxide poisoning – but it sold detectors and saved lives.

If all guns were built with mechanisms that kept them from firing when held sideways, we could end gang violence.

My gunning down everyone in the room doesn’t seem very stealthy, but if no is alive to hear Solid Snake, does he make a sound?

Paul Krugman stuck on Super Mario Bros level 1-1 because he keeps dying to revisit coin pipe. Told him that’s bad economics, but won’t listen.

The movie The Warriors was made when people were optimistic about the future and thought violent street gangs would be creative and colorful