You’ve Been Judged!

Anonymiss of Nuking Politics picked her favorite punchlines to “I’m “ready for Hillary” because…

Click here to see if you made the cut.

If you did, you should probably email Keln about becoming a guest blogger there.

If you didn’t, Anonymiss has got another straight line for you to practice on.

Liberals: Please Stop Trying to Help Us. You Stink At It

[High Praise! to The Looking Spoon]

Trust Them… Why Would They Lie?

The federal agency that administers student loans is being investigated for charging excessive interest to active-duty soldiers.

Don’t worry, though. I’m sure your Obamacare premiums are on the up-and-up.

Maybe It’s Pining

From an article on a sperm whale that died and washed ashore in Canada, where the local mayor tried to sell the carcass on eBay just to get rid of it before it started to stink:

Fenwick said the town received a disturbing phone call on Monday morning from someone who said he was a federal official. The caller said it’s illegal to sell the whale on eBay because it’s an endangered species, Fenwick said.

Ummmm… it’s not endangered anymore. It’s DEAD.

Take it away, Mr. Cleese:


[Splicd direct link]

Link of the Day: Secret Food From Franchise Eateries

HackTheMenu.com

Some of this stuff sounds weird, some not-so-special or secret, some pretty darn awesome. I want to try that Midnight Truffle Blizzard thing from DQ.

I’m assuming this all this secrecy and hoop-jumping is very similar to the process required for “Friends of Obama” to get Obamacare waivers.

Wish someone would post THAT online…

[Think you have a link that’s IMAO-worthy? Send it to harvolson@gmail.com. If I use your link, you will receive High Praise! (assuming you remember to put your name in the email)]

Wisdom of the Day: Feminists Hodor

There’s More He Could Say

During a speech in Hawaii, Al Gore called global warming skeptics “immoral, unethical, and despicable”.

Since Al makes money selling carbon credits, I’m surprised “unprofitable” wasn’t on the list. Or would that be too honest?

Obama Warned Us – Idea

“Everybody has a chance — that’s the idea of America.” —President Obama

@BarackObama

Certainly it’s THAT, and not the idea that government needs to be shackled because it’s a “fearful master“.

Straight Line of the Day: Fox Is Planning a “Batman” Prequel Series Called “Gotham”. Expect to See…

Works like this: I feed you Moon Nukers a straight line, and you hit me with a punch line in the comments.

Fox is planning a “Batman” prequel series called “Gotham”. Expect to see…


elektronik sigara
ukash ev

If you love your computer so much…

LoveComputerSigh.

I’m wondering if I should just post a link to this story and offer “sigh” or something similar as a comment and leave it as that. If this was teh twitterz, then that might be the best thing to do. But it’s not. Twitter, I mean. It still might be the best thing to do.

But, I’m well past that point, so here goes with the long version.

Some guy in Florida wants to marry his computer. Really.

Okay, maybe not really. It’s kinda hard to tell.

Normally — which loses more and more meaning every day since nothing seems to be normal any more — I’d think this was satire. And, it might be. But, these days, you never can tell.

Chris Sevier did file a lawsuit saying he wanted to marry his computer. But, whether or not it’s a real thing or if he’s just using a lawsuit to try to make a point … well, I’m not sure.

He says his computer is so full of porn that he enjoys using it as part of his sex life.

“Over time, I began preferring sex with my computer over sex with real women,” he told a court in Florida.

That’s another thing I’m not sure about. That he had sex with real women. Maybe he did. But, from the looks of things, it may have been proceeded with his using the phrase, “It puts the lotion on its skin.”

Anyway, it could be that he’s taking a round-about way to make a point against gay marriage. He’d be better served by some other method of displaying his opposition.

Then, again, maybe he really does want to marry his MacBook Pro.

If he does, though, what will happen if he’s seduced by a slimmer, trimmer MacBook Air? Who will take care of the discarded MacBook Pro? And, what of the children? Maybe they’ve had some little iPads or iPods. Who gets custody?

It’s a slippery slope. Probably from all the lube.

Random Thoughts: 5 Guys, Hashtags, and Frogs

5 Guys is good at making burgers, bad at BACON REMEMBRANCE.

Before leaving with my order, I even asked, “Did you remember the bacon?” I’d get more mad if everyone there weren’t always so nice.

I’m not going to eat some baconless burger like some savage! I mean, I did, every bite (plus the fries), but I still missed the bacon.

The only reason the Nazis were around so long is Twitter didn’t exist then to bring them down with hashtags.

Why hasn’t Obama released the power of the hashtag on the economy? It’s like he doesn’t want people to have jobs.

Scientists should come up with environmentally friendly solutions that save money and not care whether people believes in global warming or not.

Oh wait. Doing useful things with science is the job of engineers.

Why hasn’t the government done something about how poison dart frogs’ bright colors make them look appetizing to small children?

Despite how they look, poison dart frogs are not berry flavored.

Nothing worse than getting a grizzly bear in a headlock and forgetting what the Boy Scout manual says you’re supposed to do next.

Yay! Robocop!

A Silicon Valley company is testing a prototype robot designed to detect and monitor criminal activity.

So… it’s a lot like the “sent” folder in Susan Rice’s email?