BREAKING: Local street performer dies in sword swallowing accident. "He thought the sword was gluten free but it wasnt" said one witness.
— Adam le homard (@AdamTheLobster) May 1, 2014
"Frankenstein, I called you in here to tell you that you're fired"
"FIRE BAD!"
"Yes getting fired is bad but frankly so is your performance"
— patrick (@tastefactory) May 2, 2014
listen, your mother gave you explicit instructions to keep moving forward and your mom mentum
— Fro Vo (@fro_vo) May 3, 2014
Anyone know where I can apply to be on an NFL team. I'm not good at sports but I have a positive attitude
— lemons (@respected_loner) May 4, 2014