So what so we do about North Korea? First we find out they’ve been working on a nuclear weapons program, and now we find out that China, Russia, and Pakistan helped them. Goddamn Commies, former Commies, and… uh… non-Commies. Don’t worry, though, ‘ole Frank has a plan.
We completely ignore this.
That’s right. We just brush it off. Have Bush say it’s not a big deal and we’re focused on Iraq. Then we continue getting our forces built up near Iraq, preparing each day to storm into Baghdad, until finally… POW! We hit North Korea like starving dogs at a pot roast, bombing everything we see. Buildings, bridges, trees, mountains, sheep… anything at random. By lunchtime we should have that government overthrown, and then Bush can come out with a statement, “This is what we do to other countries when they even say ‘nuclear.’ And we don’t care it you say it NU-CLEE-AR or NU-CU-LAR; we’re going to mess you up so good and you’ll wish your country was never founded!” That’ll scare the hell out of the evil people out there. We still have the big Commie, China, left, but don’t worry; I’m working on a plan for that too.
My daily: ROFL!
You know, Frank, it is totally uncool of you to write stuff without a warning that there’s an “uncontrollable guffaw” producer contained therein. I was trying to sip some water when I came to the “POW! We hit North Korea like starving dogs at a pot roast” line, and I’m kinda pissed now because it’s unpleasant to have water in one’s nose.
I should know better because every single one of your articles makes me laugh, but usually I can moderate my response to a gentle giggle. Not this time. We’re talking spittle on the monitor screen.
YOU. ARE. HILARIOUS!