Emperor Misha I is sick. Go tell him to get better soon. Actually, don’t just tell him to get better; demand it! The blogosphere needs him.

A poll shows nearly 70% of Americans don’t want Hillary Clinton to run for president. That sounds good, but it’s like 70% of people saying the proper order is pants, then shoes. What disturbs me is that 30% seem to lack rational thought to know that Hillary is an evil harpy who should be chased away from public life with torches and pitchforks in hand. That’s three in ten people who aren’t horrified at the thought of Hillary Clinton with more power. Luckily, it’s not like they’re evenly distributed throughout society; instead, these people are probably isolated in a few cities where confusing butterfly ballots can be used to disenfranchise them. Still, you could run into one on these wackos on the street, which is yet another of many reasons to carry a firearm.

I found this column by Gary Younge about Sesame Street in other countries pretty interesting. I mean, yeah, Gary Younge is a complete drooling idiot liberal, but once you cut through his dimwitted ideology in this article, there are some interesting facts to learn. Still, I want to give you fair warning and not downplay the total crap you have to drudge through to get to the interesting stuff; I mean, the guy keeps using the word “progressive” over and over, and the least of his mental offensives. Oh, and there’s that part about Palestinian children having trouble liking Israelis because of the tanks outside; what about the Israeli children, Gary, you ass, who actually are the targets of Palestinians? Know what, come to think of it, don’t read the article; it ain’t worth the trouble.
BTW, he mentions the Golden Arches Theory of Conflict Prevention which states that no two countries with McDonalds in them has ever gone to war. Anyone know if that is true?

Today is Columbus Day. This is when we celebrate how Christopher Columbus discovered America, which, frankly, is one of the best things anyone has ever done. Some may say he didn’t really discover it since people were already there, but that doesn’t count because they didn’t know where the hell they were. They also say that Columbus was a bad man because he killed lots of people, but that’s unfair because everyone was a mass-murderer back in the olden days. It was the psychotics back then who never killed anyone; that’s just how things have changed. So IMAO would like to give a shout out to our man Columbus for discovering this great continent, which is the best continent in the world even though it has tornados which is kinda weird. He thought he might fall off the edge of the world, but he pushed onward anyway – maybe because he was brave or maybe because he was insane; whatever reason, he set an example to us all. For it was a perilous journey, one unmatched even by our adventures into space. Not to belittle the Apollo missions, but it’s not like we only heard rumors there was moon we flew out to land on it.

Not only do the Palestinians have to deal with Israeli occupation and the evil evil settlers who are always… uh… settling (believe me; it’s bad), but, on top of that, they keep getting killed from their shoddy Palestinian phones which tend to explode. Poor bastards. We should start a charity to get Palestinians phones that are less demolitions prone – maybe some of those cool flip-top cell phones. We can give them to the Israeli intelligence to distribute as they seem to know who needs phones.