Rachel Lucas gets hate mail from some British person who had no clue what he was up against. Foreign people are so stupid.
Archive of entries posted on 5th October 2002
Frank Discussions
A U.S. envoy had a “frank” discussion with North Korea, which probably means we just told them how bad we think they are and that we hope they change. That’s diplomacy, but I guess I’m too simple for that. North Korea is doing evil things now. It’s oppressing people now. It’s planning to make WMD’s now. Plus, they’re a big threat to South Korea who animate all the Simpsons episodes, which, in my opinion, is a more important resource than oil. So I wouldn’t just tell North Korea I think they’re bad and hope they change in the future. Here’s how a “Frank” discussion would go with North Korea:
Our envoy meets with some North Korean diplomats for talks. Our people then, without saying a word, kick the crap out of the North Koreans. The president soon after calls up to apologize as sincerely as possible, saying he didn’t know who those envoys were that attacked the Korean diplomats and offers to meet with Kim Jong Il himself. Then, at that meeting, the president will thmen kick the crap out of him and promptly leave. He then calls Kim Jong II again the next day, apologizing once more claiming he was drunk and then offer to meet with hi again. He will probably say no at this point. The president should act really pissed, saying how he once smacked around Schroeder and he was cool about it afterwards. When Jong still refuses, we then tell the world that talks with the North Koreans are going no where and that their leader is funny looking so we need to attack them now before… uh… before we forget about it (we’re America, the only superpower; why the hell do we need to give other countries cogent excuses for our actions?). We then quickly take out their government using our super-modern weapons against their stupid commie weapons, give food to the people and become heroes, and set yet another example to China that communism doesn’t pay.
I guess the plan might work without the severe beating of North Korean diplomats, but that’s one of those “why not” sort of things.
Western Culture – Resistance is Futile; You Will Be Assimilated
Muslims like our movies a lot and it makes them mad. Some Muslims just don’t make much sense to me. “I don’t like Americans, because they oppress the Arabs and Muslims. Unfortunately, all Western culture has been transported to our daily life,” says a school administrator from Cairo. Jesus tap-dancing Christ is that guy an idiot! Like Americans could ever oppress Arabs and Muslims more than other Arabs and Muslims; we just don’t have the experience at it that they do. And, maybe people wouldn’t be so quick to adopt Western culture if the Middle East actually developed a culture worth something; one that didn’t just involve being ignorant, oppressing women, and wearing sheets. Now, I’m not going to defend Hollywood culture, but knowing it makes Islamic fundamentalists mad does raise my opinion of it. Also, the fact that people in the Middle East like watching evil aliens ships get blown to smithereens with the help of a Mac computer as much as Americans do show that, deep down, we’re all the same. That’s something to be celebrated, but it seems that some Muslims are more focused on how movies aren’t portraying Islam in a nice manner and make Middle Easterners look like terrorists. The problem is, Islam hasn’t been been portraying itself in a nice manner and Middle Easterners have been making Middle Easterners look like terrorists by being terrorists. I swear, if I hear of one more Muslim working more at stopping the portrayal of Muslims as terrorists instead of actually trying to stop Muslims from being terrorists, I’ll lobby to make sure that the Middle East only get our independent films imported to them. That’ll learn ’em.