Today is Columbus Day. This is when we celebrate how Christopher Columbus discovered America, which, frankly, is one of the best things anyone has ever done. Some may say he didn’t really discover it since people were already there, but that doesn’t count because they didn’t know where the hell they were. They also say that Columbus was a bad man because he killed lots of people, but that’s unfair because everyone was a mass-murderer back in the olden days. It was the psychotics back then who never killed anyone; that’s just how things have changed. So IMAO would like to give a shout out to our man Columbus for discovering this great continent, which is the best continent in the world even though it has tornados which is kinda weird. He thought he might fall off the edge of the world, but he pushed onward anyway – maybe because he was brave or maybe because he was insane; whatever reason, he set an example to us all. For it was a perilous journey, one unmatched even by our adventures into space. Not to belittle the Apollo missions, but it’s not like we only heard rumors there was moon we flew out to land on it.