People are calling for a regime change in Iran, figuring the best way to do it is to destabilize the government since there are so many pro-America people in Iran. But what are some good ways to destabilize something?
* Shaking It Up: Once when I was eight, I mistook my ant farm for my Etch-a-Sketch and totally shook it up (I don’t know what was in the Kool-aid that day). As a result, that ant community was totally destabilized. Similarly, we could shake up Iran using a weapon that causes earthquakes like in the movie The Core which I heard about but didn’t see because it sounded stupid.
* Ridiculing Leaders: Their government would collapse if no one respected the leaders. What we should do is when one of their crazy religious types appears live on T.V., we should have someone run up, yank his beard, and run away. Then everyone would be like, “Hey! Look at the stupid beardo! Let’s throw rocks at him!” Total destabilization!
* Sword of Damocles: You know how they say we can have cruise missiles fly through windows and down streets without hitting anything other than the intended target, well let’s like constantly do that. Have cruise missiles flying all over town, obeying traffic laws and doing loop-de-loops to impress the kids… but not hitting anything. That is, unless Iran’s leaders piss us off, because then the cruise missile will merge onto the highway, take exit 16, make the first right (is there right on red in Tehran?), and then fly straight into the capitol building.
* Massive Doses of Radiation: If I remember right, massive doses of radiation will destabilize a substance. But how do you deliver massive doses of radiation to a country…
* Phat Beats: We could airdrop Beastie Boys CD’s on Iran, and, when everyone is playing “Intergalactic Planetary”, “Fight For Your Right to Party”, and “Brass Monkeys”, everything will totally destabilize. It will be kick ass!
Well, that all the ideas I have right now. Now let’s destabilize!
You know what worked to destabilize regimes in medieval times? Sapping a castle! That’s when a whole bunch of seigers struck out the pick axes and shovels and tunneled under the walls of the castle, building little tunnels reinforced with wood beams. When they got enough tunnels, they lit the beams on fire, after scurrying out of the holes, of course. So when the reinforcing beams burned to ash, the weight of the walls and castle structures made the tunnels collapse, bringing along the walls and castle.
Suhweet! After all, we do have Iraq and Afghanistan to start our tunneling.
But please wait until after 9:30 EDT so I can load up on CAT when the market opens.
If you really want to destabilize Iran, you should have them raised by Hillary Clinton’s parents. They raised the senator and she seems unstable.
Satellite-capable hypersonic sound
+ Barney Songs
Mad Mullahs!
“There, Mohammed! Tell me you do not hear a purple dinosaur singing now!”
I always thought that we should load up a bunch of itching powder and stink bombs on stealth bombers and drop it on nutjob regimes. Nobody can take a mullah seriously if he’s trying to hold his nose and scratch at the same time.
“* Massive Doses of Radiation: …
But how do you deliver massive doses of radiation to a country…”
That would be your Neutron Bomb, Frank. Massive radiation burst, hardly any blast effect. Kills people ( and monkeys! ) but leaves buildings standing. The advantage here is that no one can accuse us of being Culturally Insensitve because we trashed some national museum filled with old,crufty stuff. Added benefit: no looters!
stupid beardo ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha
Shoot stuff. I like to shoot stuff when I feel destable…
actually, the core is a good movie.
“That would be your Neutron Bomb, Frank. Massive radiation burst, hardly any blast effect. Kills people ( and monkeys! ) but leaves buildings standing.”
Leslie Nielson called. He wants his deadpan obliviousness to hilarity back.
-_V-_, nice observation. Your parents must be proud of your progress.
Yes, you’ve come a long from the safety of the soft walls you knew just a short time ago. Back then — I remember it well — you were like a child’s terrarium; the wheel was spinning but the hamster was dead.
Yes, you were lost. As lost as that matching left sock that you didn’t know was missing until you had a special date with destiny and wanted to wear that sock. But it was gone, and you didn’t know why any more than you knew why dogs consider cat poop a delicacy.
Just one of a crowd, that curious kind that most people ignore like helmet laws. The kind of a guy that you knew was about to sell his car for gas money…
okay, okay, I’m sounding like Howard Cosell now…
LMAO. Very nice.
Actualy, nuetron bombs DO, alas, have a signifigant blasteffect. IT’s just less than a similiarly sized purely nuclear device. But the REAL problem is that all that radiation just destabilized the bodies.. It doesn’t make them disintergrate. Which sucks, cause then someone has to go sweep up all the dead people and cart them off and stuff, or else they start to stink something AWFUL! Plus hiring all those dead-people-cartering guys is really expensive. ESPECIALLY if they have to work overtime. And if they don’t, the whole sitty ends up smelling like dirty gym socks. And nobody wants THAT…