Frank Answers: Dealing With Enemies of IMAO, Scrappleface, North Korea, and To Whittle

Jon from Richmond asks:
How will non-linking Blogs (Enemies of IMAO) be “destroyed” (Hint: Answer could potentially involve deportation to the moon, followed by aforementioned nuking)?
Revealing how I plan to destroy my victims would ruin a good amount of the fun, but, I assure you, a blacklist will be made of all blogs who slight me by not giving me a front page link to my blog on my blogiversary (this Wednesday), and punishment will be dealt. All those foolish enough to defy will forever know July 9th as the beginning of their end.
Some may think it’s uncivilized of me to threaten people to link to me, but, hey, it’s my blogiversary and I can threaten if I want to.
Bill from Waco, Texas asks:
Would you consider ScrappleFace an IMAO inhibitor?
Ha ha; very clever. Nothing can inhibit IMAO! Nothing! According to the Truth Laid Bear blogging ecosystem today, now 71 links separates me from Scrappleface. Soon, I will surpass him, and then he will be downgraded from “archnemesis” to “fellow blogger”.
Jeff from Hell (a.k.a. Northern California) writes:
Riddle me this. Why aren’t all the North Korean’s dead yet? Is it because their poofy haired leader is really a space alien in disguise? Or is North Korea just over a soft spot in the earth’s crust, thus creating an atmospheric protective bubble around it? Please explain.
You must understand diplomacy. When dealing with someone with poofy hair, the outcome can be quite unpredictable. This is why we are moving more gradually against North Korea. There time will come, though, when they will finally learn that the main flaw inherent in Communism: if you are Communist, America will eventually bomb the crap out of you.
Scott from Chicago, IL writes:
Why is it that my boss got mad when he told me to Whittle down my report, and I then proceeded to make it even longer? I just don’t understand.
While in the blogosphere, Whittle is synonymous with huge beyond mortal comprehension, to most people whittle means to chip away at and reduce in size.
BTW, scientist estimate that, by the year 2006, the blogosphere will have increased by a factor of 20,000%, 99% of that increase simply being one of Bill Whittle’s essays.


Please keep the questions coming, <a href=”mailto:THISISSPAMTHISISSPAMace you’re from, I’ll randomly select one.

7 Comments

  1. That’s odd. Everybody I talk to says “to whittle” means “to increase in QUALITY.”
    You can’t imagine the number of e-mails I get saying “Boy, I wish someone would whittle that Frank J’s IMAO site! It needs it, BAD!”
    Of course, I have no idea what site they mean.
    PS This message is being delivered by an e-mail bot. Bill Whittle is far too busy combing through the Thesaurus finding longer words to use.

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