“The economy is still not improving,” President Bush announced, “I need new ideas.”
“How about more tax cuts?” offered one the president’s advisors.
“I don’t know if that will work,” Bush said dubiously.
“I got it!” exclaimed another advisor, “Even more tax cuts!”
“I like that!” Bush responded, “Let’s go with it.”
Suddenly the doors to the conference room burst open as two secret service agents were thrown to the floor. Then a large man walked in. “Your puny secret service agents tried to stop me,” the man announced, “but I will see the president whenever I please. I am Ah-nuld!”
“And who are you?” the president asked.
“I am Ah-nuld!”
“Oh, Arnold Scwha… uh…” Bush paused for a moment. “Well, we all know your last name. What do you want?”
“I wish to become governor of California, and I demand your support or I will crush you!”
“No problemo,” Bush said, “I fully support your efforts with the recall.”
“I have no time to wait for recall,” Arnold shouted, “The voters are puny; they reelected Gray Davis. I will crush them! I take governorship now! I am Ah-nuld!”
“So what are you planning?”
“You will fly me down to California now, and I will crush Gray Davis for he is puny. Then I am governor. I am Ah-nuld!”
Bush thought about this for a moment. “I like your moxy; let’s do it.” He called up his staff. “Get Airforce One ready; it’s time for a road trip!”
“Just one more question,” Arnold said, “What is this dog that is biting my leg?”
“Oh, that’s just Chomps, the world’s angriest dog. Gnawing on your leg is just his way of saying he likes you… or is it his way of trying to sever a major artery and kill you? I forget; to be honest, I try to stay as far away as I can from that horrible thing.”
“Ha! His bite is puny; he will never gnaw through my leg! I am Ah-nuld!”

“Governor Davis, you were supposed to get those bills signed,” the governor’s aide reminded him.
“I was going to,” Governor Gray Davis said, “but I broke my pen and forgot where my other pens are.”
“You are so incompetent!” the aide exclaimed, “You have to get things together before your disapproval rating get any higher. People are actually moving here from other states just to hate you.”
“Is it really that bad?”
“Haven’t you been watching the news?”
“I was going to,” Davis said, “but I accidentally took the batteries out of the TV remote and couldn’t figure out how to put them back in.”
“Ah!” the aide exclaimed, “You are so incompetent!”
Suddenly they heard a loud crash. “What happened?” Davis cried.
The aide looked out the window. “Apparently a Humvee has crashed through the front of the mansion.”
The doors to Gray Davis’s office were kicked opened. “I am Ah-nuld! I am governor now!”
“Now just wait one moment,” a befuddled Gray Davis responded, “You can’t just barge in here and…”
“You are puny! I will crush you!” Arnold yelled and then picked up Gray Davis and threw him out the window. “Now I am governor! I am Ah-nuld!”
“You can’t just become governor by throwing the current governor out the window,” the governor’s aide protested.
“You are puny too!” Arnold shouted and then picked up the aide and tossed him out the window.
“Wow, democracy in action,” Bush said, having followed in behind Arnold into the office, “It’s a beautiful thing to behold.”
Soon the press had sworn into the office as well. “I am Ah-nuld!” Arnold announced, “I am governor now!”
Do you really think you can take the governorship by…” one reporter started to say, but Arnold then grabbed him.
“Do you question me? I am Ah-nuld! You are puny; I will crush you!”
“No, I’m not questioning you, Mr. Governor,” the reporter said meekly.
“How about you, President Bush,” said another reporter, “Do you support this violent coup?”
“I wouldn’t call it a violent coup,” Bush answered, “If you look at California law, storming into the governor mansion and throwing the current governor out the window is a perfectly legit method for the succession of power.”
“What part of California law says that?”
Bush started laughing. “Come on; what’s the chance I know anything about California law? I was just bluffing.”
“So, Arnold, why is there a very angry dog chewing on your leg?”
“I do not know and I do not care. His bite is puny; I am Ah-nuld!”

“Former-governor Gray Davis was critically injured by being thrown out the window of his office, that critical wounding getting 62% approval from California voters. This means the new governor, Arnold Schwarzenegger, is off to a strong start. On the subject of the budget deficits, he said quote, ‘The deficits are puny. I will crush them. I am Arnold.'”
“Just when you thought California couldn’t get any screwier,” quipped the anchorwoman.
“Speaking of screwy, in San Francisco today…”