The Puppy Blender has spoken further about our educational quagmire, mentioning how zero-tolerance now gets kids in trouble for drawing violent stick figures (what else are supposed to do in class; pay attention?).
It’s going to get worse, though. My sources from the NEA tell me that schools are soon going to remove acute angles from geometry classes because of how they resemble a sharp edge. This will effectively eliminate triangles from the curriculum, and the only legal quadrilaterals will be rectangles.
Next, they might outlaw compasses because of kids’ natural tendencies to stab each other with them. Well, I’ll get you more information as this develops.
What about violent non-stick figures? Maybe if the lazy bum would take the time to draw a body on a drawing, he wouldn’t be in the predicament he’s it right now. RARRRRRR!
What about getting rid of Bunson burners, Frank? They make awesome flame throwers!
I remember when I was in elementary school, they had these cool pens that looked like the needles doctors poke people with to give them shots (stupid doctors).
The pens were quickly banned after kids…who would have thunk it?…started stabbing each other with them.
Actually, though, I’m waiting for schools to ban “A’s”, which also look like weapons. In my case, I probably wouldn’t have noticed. 🙁
Ok,and I’m guessing that straws and paper are next. Can’t have vicious spit ball wars – someone might loose an eye!
Wait, wait! Are we stifling this young man’s CONSTITUTIONAL RIGHT TO FREE SPEECH? I thought the wackos who like this zero tolerance stuff worshiped that amendment!
Wow, when I was in high school (last year and years before), I was known to have a wild imagination, wanting to kill those “darn Commies” and nuke the rest of the world for their stupidity. Today, in most schools, I’d probably get expelled for conspiracy of mass murder for drawing mushroom clouds and wrting “violent stories”.
The students and teachers at my school barely tolerate me wearing the Nuke The Moon shirt. They get this weird idea that I’m serious or something.
Shockwave,
Do they actually think you have nukes with which to nuke the moon?
Frank (re: Shockwave’s comment)…the funny thing is, these are probably the same people who were absolutely certain Saddam didn’t have any WMDs. Jerks.
You know, when i was in high school, every time i heard about one of these stories, i went to my teachers and lobbied to ban pencils and pens because they too could be weapons. Nobody ever listened to me, though. But 24 proved me right, mwahahahaha.,,,
heh heh
Tommy
Frank
I don’t know what they think, but they think I actually want to nuke the moon. Is there any good comment I can make to them when they ask me (I’m out of good comments)?
Don
Sadly, they are the same people who think Saddam doesn’t have WMD, and even worse, they are a majority in my school. But they have yet to get the best of me in an argument.
This is yet another reason I stopped teaching and got the heck out of public education…(at least until I can plan a way to overthrow the system)…
When I taught kindergarten, we had to send kids to the principal’s office (where they were punished) if they acted like their fingers were guns and pretended to shoot other people with them (ala cowboys & indians).
OH LOOK OUT! HE’S GOT A HANGNAIL! EEEEEEK!
As someone who worked within it for too long, I can safely say that most of the educational system (thanks to the touchy-feely folks) is completely ridiculous and utterly nuts.
just tell the teachers the nuke the moon strategy, than they too would want a t-shirt since its such a great idea
If you look at our world today, versus that of oh, let’s say thirty years ago, you will find that “feelings” (aka: feeeeeeeeelings) are more important than intellect. In fact, those on the Left have now effectively substituted feeling for any form of fact-driven intellect.
I guess I’ll just sit back and wait for The Mother Ship to haul all the moonbats away! I sure wish it would hurry up….
Well, acute angles are dangerous. Read Flatland for details.
Now, what would you do about Goose Step High in Charleston, SC?
Re: Cowboys and Indians
Of course, these days, it’s ‘Evil Imperialist Capitalist Cattle Abusers vs. Noble Natives Who Can Do No Wrong’
There’s nuthin’ “cute” about “acute” angles! And Isoceles Triangles only have two equal sides …what about the third side? Why does it get the short end of the triangle? The only fair way to draw a triangle is with all three angles equal. Then color it pink, and put it on the back of your car.
By the way, Pythagoras smoked hemp.
I did much drawing as well, past stick figures by fifth grade, with many jets, submarines, people, spacecraft, you name it.
All shooting at each other and many explosions. Quite a bit of red. I liked red. My friends did too. Water guns might get taken IF you were disruptive. At home we had plenty of toy guns, and played “Cowboys and Indians” and “Kirk and Klingons.”
It never would have occurred to me that somebody would use a gun at school. A knife, in high school, just maybe if somebody was absolutely nuts but I can’t remember actually thinking about it as a realistic possibility. I recall we weren’t supposed to bring knives to high school, but teachers usually didn’t say anything about pocket knives. Mind you, the school “authorities” were absolutely useless about bullies and “gangs” (the kind that “ganged up” to give you a black eye, not kill you).
I have a friend that was in ROTC and competed in his High School gun team. There were safety procedures, strictly enforced, but actually having the gun was no big deal.
If either of us had somehow jumped forward in time and ended up in a modern school, what we thought was normal would have ended us in jail. And we wouldn’t have a clue why, especially after the “explanation.”
Why not take out acute angles? They’ve already taken proofs out of geometry. With the proofs gone, there are only a few more things left to remove before geometry will be totally content-free (and thus not biased against minorities). I have a few more recommendations for “improving” geometry:
* So-called “obtuse” angles should be renamed “differently angled angles” so as to avoid use of the derogatory term “obtuse”.
* A minimum of 10% of straight lines will be replaced by lines that are of different sexual orientations.
* The statement “two points determine a line” will be replaced by “Any number of points may determine a line, so long as they love each other very much.”
* All theorems about lines traversing circles will be declared as depictions of rape and expunged from the curriculum, since they are offensive to women.
* The well-known theorem about vertical angles being congruent will be extended so that all non-vertical angles will be congruent too. Consequently all angles will be right angles, and triangles therefore do not exist.