More primaries today. If you’re a Democrat, go and vote. If you’re a Republican, go and beat up a Democrat in practice for the general election. Also, maybe we could work on some more confusing ballots to replace the butterfly one. I’m thinking it should involve some sort of word puzzle.
Zeke came riding into camp, a look of terror on his face. “Get out of here!” he shouted, “It’s a stampede!”
“Dammit!” Richards yelled as he ran for his horse. “I knew Clemens couldn’t keep control of them.”
“Well, there ain’t no stopping them now,” Zeke said, “When you have a Muslim stampede, the only thing to do is get out of the way. They even crushed ole Yellar, Clemens best Muslim herding dog.”
Soon they saw the fearsome sight of thousands of men in white robes and women covered head to toe who were charging forward while ululating, running over everything in their path as if fleeing from the devil himself. Everyone not looking for a martyrship ran for cover.
Okay, maybe with the number of people killed, it’s not proper to make fun. Also, though it’s easy to point out how stupid a culture is that has deadly stampedes every year, I hardly seem in a position to throw stones when, in this country, we have people doing dumb things like rioting after a Super Bowl win. Then again, at least when I throw stones I don’t stampede.
Instapundit finally got Blog Ads, just as I reccommended to him. I’ll wait here patiently for my ten percent commission.
Since he’s asking $800 a month for an ad, maybe he shouldn’t take my advice and spend it all on beer.
I love the Justin Timberlake explanation of the Super Bowl halftime fiasco: it was a “wardrobe malfunction.” I’ll have to remember that one.
“Were you watching strippers?”
“Honest, honey, they weren’t strippers! They just had a wardrobe malfunction!”
I’m the seven of hearts on the deck of cards of most dangerous right wing bloggers. Misha sure beat me out, though, making the ace of clubs. Then again, seven is the holy number, and many do say I’m god-like.
Have you seen the Alabama quarter? They have Helen Keller on it, i.e., the best person they could think of to represent Alabama is someone who is deaf, dumb, and blind (BTW, what time period is Helen Keller from? I mean, is she dead now, and, if so, how would she know?).
So far, I think the most representative quarter is the New Jersey quarter. It has the image of George Washington crossing the Delaware. Take it from someone who lived in New Jersey for nine years: there is no more apropos an image for Jersey than a bunch of people leaving it.
Man, there was supposed to be a real special guest talking to my writers group yesterday but we got stood up. Well, next week will be the group critiquing of my novel, and it will be good to get some opinions from people who aren’t fans of my website. Maybe afterwards, I’ll put up some of the novel for whoever is interested to see it again (it’s been changed a bit from last time).
Anyway, here’s a neat blog from someone working for Tor with a post on rejection letters. I’ve yet to get one yet, but I’m already planning my hissy fit.
Well, I’m tired and got no more time for blogging. BTW, if you were sending ricin to Senator Frist, please stop it. Thank you.
Cute, but Washington was crossing into New Jersey in the famous painting, on his way to go kill some foreigners. Considering that the only way he could actually do that was to sneak up on them in the dead of night, I’m wondering if it’s the best sort of patriotic pride, strictly speaking.
Washington has this association with crossings and skulking about in the dark. There’s a bridge in Pittsburgh called “Washington Crossing” in reference to his lurking around the Three Rivers, pestering the French at Fort Duquesne. This was before he snuck up on a party of French in the dead of night at Jumonville, got himself surrounded at “Fort Necessity”, and was forced to surrender to the French.
Oh, well. At least the Delaware Crossing isn’t something embarrassing, like a glorified panty raid. Rome, Greece, I’m pointedly not glaring in your general direction.
I tried looking up which way he was crossing, but got bored and decided to go with the joke hoping everyone was as ignorant as me. Then you came and ruined the party.
Rejection letters rock! I recommend that you send out a lot of short fiction to the apporpriate magazines just so you can ramp up on the importance of the rejections. Who knows, you may actually get something little published.
If you’re doing submissions, make sure to geek out and create a database of where you send what when.
Just make sure that all this other writing doesn’t interfere with your Imao duties.
Dave Barry was on there?
Maybe I should sent hate mail to him next. Thinks he can just put up some lame blog and get twice my traffic because he’s a columnist. Someone should take him down a notch in a letter in which no phrase would make a good name for a rock band.
Dead or alive, idiots deserve all the insults we, the living, wish to heap upon them. And if they happen to be America-hating sand monkeys, so much the better.
More primaries today. If you’re a Democrat, go and vote
I did. Living in Oklahoma I had to switch parties in order to cancel out someone elses’ serious vote in these primaries. I voted for Sharpton!
Hey, at least I cancelled out a serious Democrat’s vote. Now I need to go switch back again so I can vote in a more serious manner when the Republican primaries roll around in ’08
A serioous Democrat, you ask. A Democrat that actually cares about the Democrat party, and what it stands for today. I don’t much care for the Democrat party of today so I can’t rightfully say that I am a serious Democrat even though my voter card reads “DEM” as my party affiliation. It’ll be changed to “REP” soon enough though. Hope that clears things up for you.
Frank, where did you live in NJ?
I curious because usually the people who make fun of NJ base their opinion on a few Soprano’s episodes and a 3 hour layover at Newark Airport.
Regarding Alabama (since that where I am from… and left a long time ago):
Hellen Keller was born in 1880 (died in the late 1960’s). While neither she (nor Anne Sullivan) developed any new teaching methods, she was a role model for deaf and blind people that their disability need not hold them back.
So OK… who or what should Alabama put on their quarter? Everyone I talk to who has been to Alabama usually says they only drove through it, but it has the nicest rest stops on the interstate. Somehow I don’t think a rest stop on a quarter would go over so well, even if it is appropriate.
Maybe they could put two of the more famous sons of Alabama on the quarter: George Wallace and George Washington Carver (although the latter was born elsewhere). That would be a great contrast. So who or what else? Lynyrd Skynrd–great song, but they were from Florida. Bear Bryant and Shug Jordan are little known outside the south. The Battle of Mobile Bay in the Civil War is most famous for an expletive. Andrew Jackson killing Indians is probably taboo (however you could portray him gambling at one of their casinos). Rosa Parks is still alive. Cotton is only known as a commercial jingle today. The first capital of the Confederacy comes down on the wrong side of history (despite what all those Dean fans who have Confederate flags on their pickup trucks say). The Scottsboro Boys are not exactly how you want to portray the state… too Faulknerian. Martin Luther King’s march from Selma has been corrupted by the current race industry. And Condoleeza Rice fled the state, too.
My vote would be for Hank Williams, Jesse Owens, Tallulah Bankhead, the Coon Dog Cemetery, or the Talladega racetrack. All capture(d) the state perfectly.
They have Helen Keller on it, i.e., the best person they could think of to represent Alabama is someone who is deaf, dumb, and blind…But she sure plays a mean pinball???
Helen Keller was deaf and blind, but not “dumb” (mute) — she did eventually learn to speak, after a fashion. She spent many years touring the world giving speeches (with an interpreter) and raising funds for the American Foundation for the Blind.
Apparently she joined the Socialist Party of Massachusetts as a young woman, back in 1909. (Boy, was I disappointed when I found that out…)
Speaking of state quarters, did I ever mention that I am a direct descendant of Caesar Rodney(The guy on the Delware quarter)’s nephew… Also named Caesar Rodney?
Sort of makes you want to treat me with more respect, doesn’t it?
Cute, but Washington was crossing into New Jersey in the famous painting, on his way to go kill some foreigners. Considering that the only way he could actually do that was to sneak up on them in the dead of night, I’m wondering if it’s the best sort of patriotic pride, strictly speaking.
Washington has this association with crossings and skulking about in the dark. There’s a bridge in Pittsburgh called “Washington Crossing” in reference to his lurking around the Three Rivers, pestering the French at Fort Duquesne. This was before he snuck up on a party of French in the dead of night at Jumonville, got himself surrounded at “Fort Necessity”, and was forced to surrender to the French.
Oh, well. At least the Delaware Crossing isn’t something embarrassing, like a glorified panty raid. Rome, Greece, I’m pointedly not glaring in your general direction.
I tried looking up which way he was crossing, but got bored and decided to go with the joke hoping everyone was as ignorant as me. Then you came and ruined the party.
Rejection letters rock! I recommend that you send out a lot of short fiction to the apporpriate magazines just so you can ramp up on the importance of the rejections. Who knows, you may actually get something little published.
If you’re doing submissions, make sure to geek out and create a database of where you send what when.
Just make sure that all this other writing doesn’t interfere with your Imao duties.
I can’t believe Dave Barry was a Jack.
Dave Barry was on there?
Maybe I should sent hate mail to him next. Thinks he can just put up some lame blog and get twice my traffic because he’s a columnist. Someone should take him down a notch in a letter in which no phrase would make a good name for a rock band.
Hah!, yeah and did the old man of the mountain see his quarter before he fell off the mountain? Hah! Give us more humor about quarters.
Dead or alive, idiots deserve all the insults we, the living, wish to heap upon them. And if they happen to be America-hating sand monkeys, so much the better.
What about Vermont’s quarter? A picture of a maple tree and a mountain in the background.
More primaries today. If you’re a Democrat, go and vote
I did. Living in Oklahoma I had to switch parties in order to cancel out someone elses’ serious vote in these primaries. I voted for Sharpton!
Hey, at least I cancelled out a serious Democrat’s vote. Now I need to go switch back again so I can vote in a more serious manner when the Republican primaries roll around in ’08
I’m curious, Ted, what do you call a “serious Democrat”?
According to the book “Number in Scripture”, 7 is the number of “spiritual perfection”. So there you have it Frank.
A serioous Democrat, you ask. A Democrat that actually cares about the Democrat party, and what it stands for today. I don’t much care for the Democrat party of today so I can’t rightfully say that I am a serious Democrat even though my voter card reads “DEM” as my party affiliation. It’ll be changed to “REP” soon enough though. Hope that clears things up for you.
Special? Like the kids riding that bus? Or the .40 special?
I’d wager it was the special lunch #3 (Beef burrito, rice and refried Beans) kind of special.
Frank where in the beautiful Garden State did you live? (And why did you leave by boat?)
Hey, Jersey’s not so bad!
You must have been living in South Jersey.
North Jersey’s friggin’ good.
NEW JERSEY: Because We’re Not All Italians!
Re: Janet Jackson’s mammary:
Am I really the first person on the internet to use the phrase “A tempest in a C-cup”?
“…there is no more apropos an image for Jersey than a bunch of people leaving it.”
LMAO!
Frank, where did you live in NJ?
I curious because usually the people who make fun of NJ base their opinion on a few Soprano’s episodes and a 3 hour layover at Newark Airport.
Regarding Alabama (since that where I am from… and left a long time ago):
Hellen Keller was born in 1880 (died in the late 1960’s). While neither she (nor Anne Sullivan) developed any new teaching methods, she was a role model for deaf and blind people that their disability need not hold them back.
So OK… who or what should Alabama put on their quarter? Everyone I talk to who has been to Alabama usually says they only drove through it, but it has the nicest rest stops on the interstate. Somehow I don’t think a rest stop on a quarter would go over so well, even if it is appropriate.
Maybe they could put two of the more famous sons of Alabama on the quarter: George Wallace and George Washington Carver (although the latter was born elsewhere). That would be a great contrast. So who or what else? Lynyrd Skynrd–great song, but they were from Florida. Bear Bryant and Shug Jordan are little known outside the south. The Battle of Mobile Bay in the Civil War is most famous for an expletive. Andrew Jackson killing Indians is probably taboo (however you could portray him gambling at one of their casinos). Rosa Parks is still alive. Cotton is only known as a commercial jingle today. The first capital of the Confederacy comes down on the wrong side of history (despite what all those Dean fans who have Confederate flags on their pickup trucks say). The Scottsboro Boys are not exactly how you want to portray the state… too Faulknerian. Martin Luther King’s march from Selma has been corrupted by the current race industry. And Condoleeza Rice fled the state, too.
My vote would be for Hank Williams, Jesse Owens, Tallulah Bankhead, the Coon Dog Cemetery, or the Talladega racetrack. All capture(d) the state perfectly.
They have Helen Keller on it, i.e., the best person they could think of to represent Alabama is someone who is deaf, dumb, and blind…But she sure plays a mean pinball???
The Who…Pinball Wizard…c’mon
Helen Keller was deaf and blind, but not “dumb” (mute) — she did eventually learn to speak, after a fashion. She spent many years touring the world giving speeches (with an interpreter) and raising funds for the American Foundation for the Blind.
Apparently she joined the Socialist Party of Massachusetts as a young woman, back in 1909. (Boy, was I disappointed when I found that out…)
Speaking of state quarters, did I ever mention that I am a direct descendant of Caesar Rodney(The guy on the Delware quarter)’s nephew… Also named Caesar Rodney?
Sort of makes you want to treat me with more respect, doesn’t it?
Yeah, It’s good Idea!!