Traveler from NW Ohio writes
Given the following Black-hole Dynamic Laws …
first law of black hole dynamics
For interactions between black holes and normal matter, the conservation laws of mass-energy, electric charge, linear momentum, and angular momentum, hold. This is analogous to the first law of thermodynamics.
second law of black hole dynamics
With black-hole interactions, or interactions between black holes and normal matter, the sum of the surface areas of all black holes involved can never decrease. This is analogous to the second law of thermodynamics, with the surface areas of the black holes being a measure of the entropy of the system.
How much force would it take to make Michael Moore implode?
About one more taco will do it.
Actually, I think we should start a fund to feed Michael Moore until he implodes, sending him random gifts of fatty goods. If it’s timed right, he’ll suck a bunch of his liberal admirers into the black hole he makes from himself, creating one extremely annoying and obnoxious singularity.
matt l from Big D, TX asks:
Now that we own our own oil producing country, why do gas prices continue to rise? Shouldn’t I now be able to fill up my Freedom loving suv for free? (while all those dirty hippies and protesters pay double, and clean my house)
Why would you want dirty hippies and protestors cleaning your house? But this is Frank Answers™, not Frank Questions™.
Anyway, I was a little surprised by gas prices myself. I thought since we just traded all that blood for oil, we would be paying ten cents a gallon now. But inside sources tell me they’re saving it for Bush’s reelection. If he gets reelected, free oil for everyone who supported the war. If he loses, he’ll spray all the oil on everyone who didn’t support him and set them on fire.
Actually, he might do that either way.
Clint the Cool Guy from Texarkana, TX asks:
1. If you could become invisible, would you still be able to see?
2. Do you report your website earnings on your income tax?
1. No, because light needs to reflect off your eye for you to be able to see, and, if light reflects off something, it is also seen (and thus wouldn’t be invisible). Solutions are to just have your eyes visible and totally freak people out or be completely invisible and blind and bumping into everything and people are like, “What the hell is bumping into everything? It’s like some moronic poltergeist!” and they’d be totally freaked out.
But if you’re already blind and used to it, like Zatoichi, the blind samurai, then being invisible would totally rock.
2. Uh… I dunno. Maybe I’ll bring that up on H&R Block, but if I don’t report them, everyone who visits this site claim you do it for charity.
Will in Knoxvvegas, Tennessee writes:
I’m sad about Rachel Lucas shutting down her blog. What can you do to get her back? Maybe a team of Stealth Ninjas to “change her boss’ mind” to give her a full weeks pay, while actually dropping her from all work responsibilities? I think if I worked too much and had no time to blog, that would be enough to get me back. Maybe I’ve just got a narcissistic disorder too. Sweet.
Rachel Lucas was a great blogger, and she helped me move to MT and even made the logo you see above, but I’m afraid she is never coming back.
Rachel Lucas is dead.
I’m sorry to report it, but I was the one to ID her after the fiery car accident. The only identification left was a rant written on the back of a napkin – the style unmistakably Rachel’s – plus a few pictures of her dog Sunny. Just let the world know that she died as she lived: hating Michael Moore and Barbra Streisand.
Wacky Hermit from Undisclosed Mountain State
Bread always lands butter side down, and cats always land on their feet. So if you securely strap a piece of buttered bread, butter side up, to the back of a cat and drop the ensemble off the top of a building, what happens at the bottom?
The easiest way to find the answer to this would be to strap the said buttered bread to said cat and throw him off said building, but that’s not scientifical. Science involves equations and theories.
Now, a cat lands on its feet because of an innate sense of equilibrium. Buttered bread lands butter side down for the sake of irony. The question is which force is more powerful? To me, the power of irony would only overpower the cat’s sense of equilibrium if someone really intended on eating that bread:
“Now, Mittens, I’m going to strap this piece of buttered bread to you for safe keeping as I’m really hungry… No stay away from the edge of the building, Mittens! Now land on your feet as always… Nooo! Not your back! My piece of bread is ruined! And Mittens had always landed on his feet before. Why, God, why?”
John S. from Valdez, Alaska writes:
Frank, I live in Alaska in a place where we get a lot of snow. Where does all the white go when the snow melts in the spring?
I used to live in Alaska, too, and I once stumbled upon the answer. Ends up all the white goes into an underground cave run by little gnomes who then package it up and sell it to the Colombians who then sell it back to Americans as cocaine. It seems like an inefficient process, but your know how magical gnomes are.
Mike Webster from Dallas, Texas asks:
If E=mc^2, what happens if you only double mc?
Well, then you get two times mc, and don’t you dare try and pass that off as energy because no one is going to believe it. Once the power company tried to sell me 2mc instead of real E, and I found out right away and was like, “Hey! Jerk-offs! Give me the good stuff before I punch you in the face!”
Yeah, that’s right. Don’t try and get any of that 2mc crap pass Frank.
Kelly (aka The Patriette) from somewhere in the middle of Texas writes:
1. With your infinite knowledge, why aren’t you running for President? We could use someone with your type of ideas.
2. If President Bush were to select you to replace Dick Cheney as his running mate, what would you do?
1. Some jackass put in the Constitution you have to be 35 to be president, making me eleven years lacking. Other than that, I’d so be president right now. Anyway, Frank for President in 2016 (presumably right after Condi finishes her second term).
2. Total crime spree, dude. I wouldn’t have anything better to do, and my best bud has pardon power, so look out! We’re talking daring daylight robberies followed by bar fights all night long. Watch out, everyone, Frank’s the VP, and you can’t touch me. Woo-hoo!

Please keep the questions coming (I would especially like more science and math questions), <a href=”mailto:THISISSPAMTHISISSPAMace you’re from, I’ll randomly select one.