Here’s the response I got to my earlier hate mail:
Frank —
Not only that, but soon I will find out where you live and come to your
house and EAT YOUR FOOD AND DRINK YOUR BEER HAHAHAHAHAHA.
Sincerely,
Dave “Wal-Mart” Barry
power-crazed giant humor conglomerate
I guess I need to work on my intimidation skills. I’m going to go sit on my couch and stare at the wall where my T.V. was.
I thought I got them all…
…just not today. I was going to make a Know Thy Enemy™ list about John Kerry like the good partisan I am, but it wasn’t coming together quick enough. I’ll hit it later. I also have a special project in the works – more on that soon.
Anyway, here’s some neat reading. Sasha Volokh sure likes to be controversial. I’m not sure how much of that I agree with it, but he makes some good points.
And make sure to check out each of my advertisers. Life, Liberty, Etc. has losts of cool t-shirts and other conservative merchandise. 123 CCTV has some wacky-cool survielance equipment including hidden cameras. Finally, if your punk ass needs some debt consolidation (admit it; you’re out of control!) check out Debt Consolidation Connection. It’s your duty as an IMAO reader to check out each of my advertisers at least one.
Dave Barry thinks he’s so great because he’s a syndicated columnists and everyone respects him. Well — peh – I spit at him. Humor in the blogosphere belongs to me! Methinks it’s time to bury Barry.
HATE MAIL!
Originally, he didn’t even have an e-mail when he started up, which hindered any hate mail efforts as it had been so long since I wrote a regular letter than I couldn’t even remember how to do a hyperlink on one. Now he has an e-mail, though, so it’s time for a whup’n.
To: daveblogger@hotmail.com
From: imao@cfl.rr.com
Subject: This is my turf!
Who the hell do you think you are? Couldn’t just stick to writing your silly column each week and pointing out what would make a good name for a rock band, could you? No, you had to venture into the blogosphere… my world! I make the funny here, not you! You have it in your head that just because you’re a celebrity you can write a couple of sentences in your blog each day and get more than twice my traffic, and… well… I guess that’s exactly what you did.
Well it ain’t right!
The blogosphere is for nobodies like me, and you’ve just crossed the biggest nobody around! I put a lot of work into my humor, and I’m not going to be encroached by someone who writes five words a day. Just to show you, I’m going to start writing one-sentence columns and get them published in twice as many newspapers as you are in. Then you’ll know what it feels like!
BTW, how do you become a columnist? So far my only attempt at it has been sending e-mails to bother important people.
You’re going down, muchacho!
-Frank J.
http://imao.us
P.S. How hard is it to reach a gray market to replace the low-flow toilets in my house? I’m in Florida like you, so it’s a little hard for me to get to Canada. Any help would be appreciated. Thanks.
Let’s see him make a rock band name out of any of that!
