Dave Barry thinks he’s so great because he’s a syndicated columnists and everyone respects him. Well — peh – I spit at him. Humor in the blogosphere belongs to me! Methinks it’s time to bury Barry.
HATE MAIL!
Originally, he didn’t even have an e-mail when he started up, which hindered any hate mail efforts as it had been so long since I wrote a regular letter than I couldn’t even remember how to do a hyperlink on one. Now he has an e-mail, though, so it’s time for a whup’n.
To: daveblogger@hotmail.com
From: imao@cfl.rr.com
Subject: This is my turf!
Who the hell do you think you are? Couldn’t just stick to writing your silly column each week and pointing out what would make a good name for a rock band, could you? No, you had to venture into the blogosphere… my world! I make the funny here, not you! You have it in your head that just because you’re a celebrity you can write a couple of sentences in your blog each day and get more than twice my traffic, and… well… I guess that’s exactly what you did.
Well it ain’t right!
The blogosphere is for nobodies like me, and you’ve just crossed the biggest nobody around! I put a lot of work into my humor, and I’m not going to be encroached by someone who writes five words a day. Just to show you, I’m going to start writing one-sentence columns and get them published in twice as many newspapers as you are in. Then you’ll know what it feels like!
BTW, how do you become a columnist? So far my only attempt at it has been sending e-mails to bother important people.
You’re going down, muchacho!
-Frank J.
http://imao.us
P.S. How hard is it to reach a gray market to replace the low-flow toilets in my house? I’m in Florida like you, so it’s a little hard for me to get to Canada. Any help would be appreciated. Thanks.
Let’s see him make a rock band name out of any of that!
I don’t know Frank. It’s missing a leprechan or something.
Hey, I am not trying to top that. I have to really hate the subject to bring up leprechans in a hate mail.
“And now coming to the stage, the one, the only “Biggest Mobodies!”
I’m not sure what to think, Frank. I’ve come to expect more venom in your bothering of celebreties. If this light handed Frank stuff continues we’ll have tell Michael Moore that he’s been invited to your house to be your close personal friend.
Aww, Bob – you’re as cruel as Chomps.
Hey! Mike Moore is a millionaire! He can hang out with me anytime (at my normal billing rate of $125/hour)
Frank J and the Blogosphere
Humor in the Blogosphere
My Turf
Well That Ain’t Right
Who the hell do you think you are
my world!
I make the funny here, not you!
Twice the Traffic Of FrankJ
Nobodies Like Me
The Biggest Nobody Around
To Bother Important People.
You’re going down, muchacho!
Gray Market To Replace The Low-Flow Toilets in My House
I think that it could be done.
Low-flow Toilets…
that would be a GREAT name for a rock band.
Chomps isn’t cruel – just angry.
Hey; I had no idea our Canadian toliets were so valuable in the States.
Maybe I should start smuggling them in. Y’know like the Bronfmans did with whiskey during Prohibition. Now look how wealthy they are.
My children would be famous owners of entertainment companies and no one would remember that once their daddy (or grand daddy) was a humble toilet runner.
as much as i admire you frank, i simply must tell you your way out of your league here. DAVEBARRYROX!!!!
“Let’s see him make a rock band name out of any of that!”
you owe me a keyboard, Frank. Kool-aid is bad for them, it seems.
The best band name yet: Humble Toilet Runner
The most famous American rum-running family was, of course, the Kennedys. They were so prolific, Teddy is still trying to get rid of the evidence.
MonkeyPants
Imperial Minion
You’re not suggesting that anybody (with the possible exception of yours truly) is more funny than the FrankMeister, are you?
Of course you’re not. It might make me angry, and you wouldn’t like me when I’m angryl.
See? One sure sign that I’m angry is when I start putting superflous “l”s in otherwise perfectly acceptable words.
Uhoh, a blogspace war between two of the funniest people on the planet?! This could be bad.
Dave who?
that Dave Barry the usurper: “Sometimes we find eels in our underpants.” NYDailyNews 2/7/04
Is muchacho Spanish for muckadoo?
Don’t fall for it, Frank
The saying goes that ‘imitation is the sincerest form of flattery’. Don’t believe it. Even though the latest MoDo column is a blatant, but much suckier, rip-off of Frank’s ‘In My World’ style, it isn’t flattery. Horrendous tripe dressed up…
Check out http://daveray.blogspot.com/ he seems to hate dave barry too
IIIIIIIIIIIITTTHHHHHEYSB HERAAAAAOOOOOOOOOOO
I always wanted a band named “Floating Okra.”
Or “The Dripping Puppies.”
No wait, “Hover Beans!”
Do you have any other purpose in life AT ALL? Get a life, freak.