Why Me Laugh: Word Choice

I haven’t done this in a while, but I am a humor expert (prove I’m not), and it’s fun to do a little navel-gazing every so often.
There was a radio ad for Steven Wright who is appearing at a local auditorium. If you don’t know Steven Wright, he’s a comedian who speaks in a monotone, bored voice and makes a number of funny statements instead of doing a coherent routine. One of the sound clips in the radio ad was of this joke of his: “Do you think when George Washington was asked for ID, he’d just pull out a quarter?” Now, you could replace “quarter” with “dollar” and the joke would still work, but why is quarter funnier?
Also, I remember when Seinfeld was on SNL and had a little joke about 7-11 in which he said, “What’s the deal with the Big Gulp? Does anyone really need that much Mountain Dew?” (it’s funnier if you say it out loud trying to imitate his voice). Why would that joke be less funny with Coke or Pepsi as the beverage? Can you name another soda that would be as funny or funnier in that statement?
Finally, I have Futurama on DVD and was listening to the commentaries. They always used the word “underpants” instead of “underwear” as one writer was convinced that “the word underpants is twenty percent funnier than underwear.” Is he right or wrong? Why?
I have my answers to each of those questions, but I want to hear what you think. So discuss amongst yourselves.
DISCUSS!
UPDATE: Here are my (and thus the correct) answers to the questions:


Quarter is funnier than dollar because the image of pulling out a quarter as ID is much more absurd. Though both are absurd, of course, a dollar is less so since it is a piece of paper taken from a wallet much like an ID, but taking out a quarter draws the image of searching one’s pocket for a small coin and then showing a relief of your own face on metal as identification. Now that’s just wacky.
Mountain Dew is funnier because it’s more obscure than Coke or Pepsi. It was probably funnier back when that SNL originally aired, because Mountain Dew has gained more brand-name recognition since then. In humor, there’s a sweet spot to how much you want to make someone think for a joke to be funny, and obscure references requires more brain activity to bring the object to mind. The reason a certain amount of thinking makes a joke funnier is because the mental feat in understanding the joke means you share knowledge with who told the joke, and bonding is one of the main evolutionary purposes of humor. If too much thinking is required, it makes the subject feel distant from who told the joke (like with Dennis Miller).
Here’s my suggestion for a replacement beverage, done with my own poor impersonation of Jerry Seinfeld.
Underpants is funnier than underwear, and that is simply because “pants” is more awkward (and thus funnier) a word than “wear”.
New question: How come I’m always so right about everything all the time?

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  1. Mountain Dew because its yellow-green and has more syllables. Maybe also because it’s more of a kid’s soda than Pepsi or coke.
    I think using a dollar bill in the GW joke would be funnier because you could actually reaching into his wallet for his “ID”.
    Underpants is funnier because “underwear” can be anything you wear under your clothes. Underpants forces you to think in the crotchery direction 🙂
    My 2 cents
    Russ

  2. Some words are just funnier than others. If you enjoy the odd word in a joke. Check out any of the original ‘Animaniacs’ cartoons, Frank. ‘It’s A Big Universe’ or ‘A Quake’ are both treasure troves of word play.

  3. Word choice is very, very valid. Ask any poet.
    It’s the syllables, the sound, whether or not the word is “stilted.” In all of your examples save “Mountain Dew”, the words chosen were “harsher” and probably meant to grab more attention. pants versus wear. quarter versus dollar. I’d argue that “Pepsi” is harsher than Mountain Dew. Maybe Seinfeld’s just Seinfeld.
    I wrote hate mail yesterday to a local grocery store. I spent a good deal of time being choosy about individual and combinations of words.
    hln

  4. Mountain Dew is funnier than Coke or Pepsi because it has more of a reputation as a stimulant than other stimulant beverages like colas or coffee. Putting in, say, RC cola would make the joke a snotty rich-person’s joke, while putting in Fresca would make it an age-based joke that makes fun of old people. (Not that there’s anything wrong with that…)
    “Underpants” is funnier than “underwear” because it is a more specific word. Undershirts and slips are underwear too, but underpants are only worn in a particular area of the body, so the word conjures up a specific image. I don’t know about the 20% statistic, though. I’d have to see a study done that supported it. 😉

  5. It’s whats called a hard letter. any joke that uses buick instead of ford or chevy is just funnier buck of ‘ick’ sound. russ is correct in the explanation of underpants. mountain dew is funnier than coke or pepsi because brand knowledge is less than the coke or pepsi, but still widly know, this joke would also work well w/ dr. pepper

  6. I also subscribe to the Hard Letter theory – consider that a high-tech product named “XIGEO” seems reasonable (both the x and the g are soft here), but rearranging the letters to form “GOXIE” (where the g and x are hard) just becomes hilarious.

  7. Personally, in regards to the G.W. one, I think a dollar bill is funnier, because it’s a peice of paper, so it would “make sense” as an ID, while a quarter…well, wouldn’t. Just my 2 cents. I’m probably just weird.

  8. “Underpants” is funnier because of the old rhyme, “I see London I see France, I see Frank J’s underpants!”
    Mountain Dew is funnier because of the caffeine/sugar thing. Jolt would work if it were less obscure.
    Quarter is funnier because it’s something that you are more likely to carry “casually”. That is, you purposely stock your wallet with cash, but generally have change as a matter of happenstance. So you can see GW reaching into his pocket trying to find some form of ID, and voila, pulls out a quarter he just happens to have as change from his Big Gulp.

  9. Underpants is funnier than underwear because the word “pants” is just plain wacky. Try replacing a word in any given sentence with “pants”:
    “I think I’ll visit Frank J.’s pants today.”
    “IMAO is the funniest pants on the web.”
    “I was laughing so hard today after reading one of Frank J.’s posts that I dropped my pants.”
    Now try it with “wear”. See? Not funny. Pants are undoubtedly the winner here.

  10. rWhen my little one was about 2,I said “fart” to her,and she just started cracking up and wanted to know what that word was.First time she heard it,no clue as to what it meant,it was just a really funny word to her.When i told her what it meant she fell apart with giggles.These days as she approaches 7 I get grief if I slip up and refer to her ‘ underwear” as “underpants”.There is accute embaressment associated with “underpants” at this age.Which,to me,is hilarious in itself.Maybe she’s sensitive because daddy wears his on his head now and again,who knows?

  11. Dear Frank…So! You have discovered the secret of gazing into the lint of ones belly button! Egads! What’s next? The Universe revolves around my belly button? Actually the latter is quite helpful in existing in the happy place that liberals inhabit. That’s what my daily meditation with “my lint” tells me anyway.

  12. Dave Berry did an article on inherently funny words like “weasel” Introduce it into any sentence
    Un funny sentence – The rover Spirit discovered interesting rock formation on Mars
    Funny sentence – The rover Spririt discovered giant weasel on Mars
    Now if you really want to get funny: There’s a Mountain Dew swilling weasel in my underpants.

  13. The word “underpants” is funny because it is effeminine and brings to mind baggy nylon articles that old ladies wear.
    – John Kerry wears underpants
    – Dubya wears skivvies
    – Buck goes commando

  14. I’d have to agree with the Hard Letter Theory in many, but not all cases. Consider the word ‘crack’. That word is hilarious… I love that word.
    But other times it works better if you draw upon people’s impression of the underlying meaning of a word. As some people have suggested, the term Mountain Dew is somewhat associated with a hyperactive, unpredictable pseudo-tweaker. Someone who probably really doesn’t need a Mountain Dew the size of a Buick.
    Still other times, timing is more important. The word ‘quarter’ is funnier because it is quicker to say, and it adds a certain snap to the line. If he were to replace it with ‘dollar bill’, the line would have lost some of it’s pop, and would not have been as successful in causing that knee-jerk reaction that is laughter.

  15. One secret to humor is being specific when not terribly necessary, and vague when it is needed to let the imagination work. News stories have a certain amount of specifics, but the details are chosen to emphasize the important parts. In a joke, enough specifics must be given to keep stories believable, but they are frequently not the important parts, or they can be misleading.
    A quarter is a specific item, whereas a dollar is sometimes a unit of measure — when you ask for a quarter, you get a quarter, or perhaps a “will two dimes and a nickel work?”; when you ask for a dollar, you could get a handful of change, or a five “got change?”
    Mountain Dew is not only very specific, but it also implies the specific type of person likely to drink it. And, as others have pointed out “pants” is more specific than “wear”.

  16. When “Safety Dance” by Men Without Hats comes on the radio, sing the chorus like this: “You can dance…You can dance, everybody pull down your pants.”
    People will laugh and really like you!

  17. I find the word “betwixt” to be quite humerous. Unfortunately, I don’t use it enough.
    I think the dollar bill would be more humerous in the GW joke – as it would appear he is reaching into his wallet for a real ID, but pulls out a dollar instead. Also, I’ve noticed that a lot of women think the word “banana hammock” is 75% funnier than “underpants”.

  18. ‘Pants’ conjures a dog with his tongue hanging out, while ‘wear’ makes me think of a man who becomes a wolf when the moon is full.
    Both have their canine undertones, it’s true, but ‘pants’ is a safe and slobbery puppy where ‘wear’ links change (always scary) and being killed by a wearwolf, which IS funnier when you think about it happening to someone you don’t like, say Chirac, but most people are selfish slobs and only think of their own safety.
    Incidentally ‘wear’ WOULD be funnier if silver bullets weren’t as scarce and expensive as they are. This is due, of course, to Big Silver.

  19. The Seinfeld one is easy. If you were asked, “Does any one really need that much Coca-Cola?”, the answer would be “yes”. Most young, healthy males are perfectly able and willing to drink an entire 2-liter bottle of Coke in one sitting. But Mountain Dew? Not terribly likely.
    Unless you needed to prove to some snowboarders that you were “eXtreme!!!”
    Underpants is funnier than underwear because it sounds more juvenile, and also because of the reasons that ConservativeBabe said.
    I think “dollar” and quarter are interchangable for the most part, though I think there may be something to Brandon’s theory too. “Give me a dollar” is a funnier expression than “Give me a quarter”, so this one is kind of tricky.

  20. Hey! What’s wrong with pats?
    Actually, I got my username from Pinky and the Brain:
    “Pinky, are you pondering what I’m pondering?”
    “I think so, Brain, but this time YOU put the trousers on the chimanzee.”
    Chimp Trousers doesn’t work.
    MonkeyPants does.
    Dunno why.

  21. just some observations:
    Dave is really poor, because a quarter is something he is more likely to have in his pocket than a one dollar bill.
    Brandon is confusing the whole issue because he’s got two cents. How did Lincoln get into this whole thing?

  22. I don’t know, Monkey Pants… I’ve always been partial to Pinky’s “But where are we going to find a duck and a rubber hose at this time of night?”… Duck and rubber hose are funny by themselves… Visualizing both is Comic Gold!!!

  23. Words with b’s or c’s in them are supposed to be funnier in spoken comedy. So in theory Mr. Pibb should be funnier. It is a bit obscure though. Alot of people don’t know about the Pibb. I do and think it is funnier than the Dew as a word. The old Italians in thier big comedy theatre thing thought that urine was funny there was alway a character running around with a bottle of pee and the audience thought that was great funniness. Maybe the color the Mountain Dew helps make it funnier. It has that pee full of vitamins color to it. I think I have now over intellectualized the funny right out of it for myself though.

  24. b’s and c’s test … say out loud to a friend with your best cockney accent and punch the words with b’s and c’s in them.
    I got a piece of brain stuck in my head and I can’t get it out.

  25. I told you W Bush was lying about Iraq. I knew he was lying since last year when W BUSH said over and over he had massive evidence on wmd and nuclear compounds in Iraq but all the leads BUSH gave to UN chief inspector BLIX about the whereabouts of these sites were BOGUS and NO GOOD. All the UN inspectors found was SAND, SAND, SAND!! The same thing Bush is finding now SAND, SAND, SAND!!!!
    180 American soldiers dead and counting, many Iraqi civilians dead and 80 billions tax payers dollars that are NOT coming out of Bush’s pocket but ours!!! and for what??? For Cheney’s company laughing all the way to the bank!!!
    We have been played.
    Bush also said Iraqis will welcome our troops……….YEAH RIGHT!! Welcome them with what? Bullets in the head!!! After Bush declared victory in Iraq in the Aircraft carrier playing Top Gun pilot, 47 American Soldiers have been killed and others wounded,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,this is what Bush call “liberation”???
    180 plus dead American soldiers and counting won’t be spending father’s day with there families…..W BUSH will. He was playing golf laughing with his father.
    And I don’t want to hear the hypocrisy from the brain washed Bushies that this war was about freedom and liberation.
    Since when conservatives gave a fuk about Iraqis or anybody but themselves?
    Where were the same conservatives when Reagan, Bush Sr., Rumsfeld and Cheney were supporting and supplying Saddam for almost a decade in the 80’s??? I didn’t hear anybody talk about Iraqi freedom then.
    When Iraq gassed the Kurds and Iranians in a war in 1988, what the fuk did Reagan, Bush Sr., Rumsfeld or Cheney do? Nothing!!!! they turned there backs………Actually Reagan send Rumsfeld to Iraq to congratulate Saddam in person and shale his hand for his victory over Iran. Its all on VIDEO!!!
    Where was the out cry from these same hypocrite conservatives?
    If this was about freedom why isn’t these same hypocrites including W BUSH goes to Pakistan, China, Sudan, Korea, Saudi and Cuba just a few places where they have murderous regimes and real wmd and and some have nuclear missiles??
    Don’t you hate a hypocrite and a liar that uses the word “FREEDOM and “LIBERATION” as a punchline for his speeches but really doesn’t mean it?
    W Bush didn’t want to give the UN inspectors more time to prevent a war because Bush argued that he had massive evidence Iraq…
    [This crazy rant is being interrupted to bring you a message from American Eagle Ammo:
    American Eagle – Guns don’t kill people; our bullets do. Remember: Without American Eagle inside, it’s just a cudgel.
    Now back to your regularly scheduled rant already in progress.]
    …had massive WMD and nuclear compounds and was ready to strike at us directly. That Iraq was an imenent threat to our country………forget OSAMA, FORGET KOREA………..he wanted to invade Iraq at all cost regardless of how many American lives and Iraqi civilians died!!
    Now W BUSH wants more time because he can’t find shiat but SAND, SAND, SAND!!!
    Iraq was going to conquer the world with empty mobile trucks and sand, sand, sand!!!
    I remember the Bushies and PRO WAR conservatives saying that the UN inspectors were incompetent and no good because they couldn’t find any WMD in Iraq and because they were agaisnt pre-empty strike.
    So what does that makes Bush and his search team now since they can’t find anything either?? Incompetents???
    Either W BUSH is a liar or incompetent who is being told what to do or what to say like a puppet president…….either way he and his team has to go in 2004.
    We have lost credibility around the world with Bush as president!!!
    Next time when W BUSH says a country is a big threat with wmd and nuclear weapons……WHO’S GOING TO BELIEVE HIM???…..He could be right but since he @#%$ up bigtime with lies and exageration over Iraq…he has hurt our credibility.
    Its like the kid who cried wolf too many times………..when a wolf finally arrives who’s going to believe the kid.
    and before the BUSH lovers attack me here……….remember COUNTRY BEFORE PARTY!!!!! AND COUNTRY BEFORE PRESIDENT!!!
    You conservatives got on Clinton over a dick massage……you had investigations up the a$$, hearings and almost impeached Clinton.
    W BUSH lied about a war that many Americans DIED, Iraqi civilans died and wounded and 80 billions of our tax payers money GONE. The main reason he use was WMD, WMD, WMD!!! Now that its obvious that Iraq never had them now conservatives want to back track and say it doesn’t matter if we find WMD OR NOT!!!…..GO FIGURED!!!

  26. Although I agree with the ranter?? this rant could have been placed in another post of yours.
    to the topic at hand I think underpants is funnier because people seem to see them more and there are soooo many interesting styles.
    I think more time thinks pants is funnier because it rhymes with rants

  27. New question: You are right all the time because you are the MAN! (and this is your blog and you count all the votes- not saying you would meddle with the vote count, but we all know the story of “hanging chads” {note-chads uses short, nasal “a: sound[see below]})
    Mountain Dew- for many years was only popular in the South. The South is considered by Northerners to be populated by hicks with funny accents, so MT Dew is funnier.
    Pants is funnier because of the short, nasal “a” sound. People always make fun of noses, so there is that link
    re: crazy man- this person has obviously been stuck in a time warp.
    Tomorrow, I answer the question, “What is the meaning of Life?”

  28. Mountain Dew is alright for a Seinfeld riff. But an old and nearly forgotten carbonated beverage from the late 1960s would top them all for laughs, giggles and titters…. Kickapoo Joy Juice!!!

  29. Bizarre. I’ve never thought of just popping into someone’s comments and dropping a non-sequitir rant. Very creative. I particularly enjoyed the advertisemnt. I think I’ll buy me some American Eagle ammo right now.
    By the way, why don’t idiots like rant boy understand that Clinton was impeached, not nearly impeached. He just wasn’t removed from office in the impeachment trial, he’s no different than Andrew Johnson. (for the ranter, Johnson was President right after the War of Norther Aggression and was impeached, but not removed from office.)

  30. Maybe somebody’s already addressed this issue and I didn’t doggone know ’bout it. I damn sure couldn’t read through allthese frigginassed posts to know 4sure could I? WEll could I???????
    Hell no I couldn’t. But what about Larry The Cable Guy [(Comedy Friggin Legend)by the dadgummed way} talks about panties as if they were otherwise known as: a)underpants. b)underbritches. c) eatin’ britches. and d) underdrawers. And it’s totally friggin hillarious is what it is. The whole gig ties Victoria’s to Fruit Rollups by the way.
    What the hell is so funny bout ‘eatinbritches”. I don’t know, but it’s funny. If you can’t laugh about that then their’s sumpin rongwitchu.

  31. Hi, Sticky!… I kinda like Larry’s idea about makin’ eatinbritches that taste like Biscuits&Gravy! Don’t know of a man alive that wouldn’t be enjoying them three… four times a day!

  32. George Carlin says that comedy is all about exaggeration. The exaggeration can be extreme or subtile. In some cases, its merely an unnatural specficity, or conversely, vaugeness. Other times, it’s the absurdity of the situation. I think the best jokes contain multiple exaggerations.
    In the case the George Washington joke, the humor relies on exaggerated absurdity. It our modern context, we are usually asked for ID when entering a club, purchacing alcohol, or being pulled over by a cop. Imagining George Washington in any of these situations is absurd, and therefore funny. Also, a quarter is funnier than a dollar because of the casualness of the act. Pulling out a dollar bill requires pulling out your wallet, opening it, rooting around for the right bill, and then presenting it so that the portrait can be seen, whereas a quarter can be fished out of a front pocket very quickly and casually.
    Timing is also important to humor. Usually, this is caused simply by the rhythm of the lines. The 3 syllables in “Mountain Dew” allows the line to end on a stressed syllable, which fits the meter of the line. “Coke” or “Seven-Up” would also do this, but they aren’t obscure enough for a specific exaggeration. (BTW, I think “Mr. Pibb” would have been just as funny, if not more so)
    With regards to “underpants,” the exaggeration lies in the colloquial and old-fashioned nature of the term. It reminds us of the the old long, flanel underwear the the buttoned ass-flap (at least it reminds me) which are always a funny image.

  33. English has been described as a “bastard” language because of it’s decidedly mixed parentage. The French actually have a Commission whose job is to guard the “purity” of the French language, particularly from “creaping Anglicism.” They issue scolding admonitions against the use of the Anglicism “Le Weekend” over the more stuffy French equivalent (it hasn’t worked–everyone uses le weekend).
    English, American English in particular, gladly borrows from almost any language. As a result, English is a very rich and textured language. We have many words that mean the same thing, but which impart a slightly different texture to a sentence. Consider the following sentences:
    It was a bloodless takeover.
    It was a bloodless coup.
    It was a bloodless putsch.
    Although the sentences mean the same thing, why does putsch (from Middle German) sound more ominous than takeover (from Old Norse) or even coup (from Middle French)? A skilled writer uses these subtle textural differences to advantage. Such things can separate the good writer from the briliant writer.

  34. Hmm, 67 posts and no one mentioned this possibility.
    “Underpants” is what we called them when we were little boys, and they were often connected in some way with juvenile scatological humor.
    And since nothing in the world is funnier to a 7 year old than “farting in your underpants”, the word “underpants” tickles an ancient funnybone…

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