BREAKING NEWS!!! MUST CREDIT IMAO!!!
Seems that Doug Wead, who recently exposed Bush’s deepest, darkest secrets by violating his trust, secretly taping him, then selling the tapes for crack money, (AS SEEN EXCLUSIVELY AT IMAO!!! MUST CREDIT!!!) has released new tapes of a private conversation with John Kerry. Below is a just a small portion of the entire shocking transcript:
IMAO EXCLUSIVE!!! MUST CREDIT IMAO!!! CREDIT!!! CREDIT NOW!!!
WEAD: George Bush has gone on record as having murdered hookers. Where do YOU stand on this issue?
KERRY: Unlike my opponent, who murdered hookers, I never murdered any hookers while serving in Viet Nam. Well, except for that one time, but since it was a 15-year-old boy, he was technically a gigolo and NOT a hooker. So you see, Weadster, my position on murdering hookers has been consistent throughout this campaign, unlike my opponent, who LIED about murdering hookers in order to deceive the American people into an illegal and unjust war in Iraq to line the pockets of his hooker-murdering oil-buddies at Halliburton.
WEAD: So… then you’re opposed to murdering hookers?
KERRY: Now, Weadmeister, I never said that. That is not at all what I said. What I said – and what I have always said – is that I support – and Wead-o-Rama, I have held a single consistent position on this issue from day one – I support a woman’s right to choose whether – as a hooker – she should be murdered or not. I simply don’t believe that it’s the role of the Federal government to decide for a hooker whether or not she can be murdered.
WEAD: So… you’re in favor of murdering hookers?
KERRY: Now, Wead-o-licious, it IS true that certain unscrupulous members of the right-wing media have twisted my words around to try to suit their own radical agenda. Of course I’d like to see more murdered hookers – especially Vietnamese ones with their sexy brown legs driving you crazy with lust as you sweat in the jungle heat – but the American people need a leader who will tell the truth, and come clean with the real reasons we rushed to war in Iraq. The American people deserve to know whether their President served in Viet Nam, where we did NOT rush to war or steal oil or target innocent civilians or guilty reporters.
WEAD: So… what were we talking about?
KERRY: You’re SO easily confused, Wead-whacker. That’s why I like you. You’re funny. Like a clown. You amuse me. And I promise that if I am elected President, I will implement my plan to murder more hookers than George W. Bush.
CREDIT IMAO!!! ARE YOU LISTENING TO ME!!! NOW!!! CREDIT NOW!!!
first
John Kerry never mentioned how he thinks that the nuisance of prostitution should be treated like the nuisance of terrorism.
I have a feeling some people arent going to like this post.
of course he didn’t mention the nuisance of prostitution should be treated like the nuisance of terrorism, he’s obviously flip-flopped on the issue. While he thinks terrorists just need a hug, he wants to kill prostitutes after “hugging” them (nudge nudge).
Kerry continues: “. . . and Mary Cheney, herself a Vietnamese hooker, should have the right to marry other Vietnamese hookers, unless of course the Iraqi provisional authority is unable to provide the training necessary to take over the security of distributing flu-shots to seniors as a result of my initiatives to reach out to the international community.”