(A Precision Guided Humor Assignment)
Dozens of terrorist scumbags inmates at the Guantanamo Bay Detention Facility have gone on a hunger strike in an attempt to draw attention to the fact that they’re not getting the due process that they’re not entitled to because they’re not US citizens.
Wait… that doesn’t make any sense.
There must be some other reason for the hunger strikes, about which I speculate thusly:

Think that a gaunt, haggard appearance will make them look sexy – like supermodels!
Really pissed off about being served kosher pickles.
We won’t even talk about the matzoh balls.
Trying to trick the guards into force-feeding them to satisfy their nasal-tube fetish.
A publicity stunt to get Cindy Sheehan to stop by.
Brad… Jennifer… sob… who can eat?
Can’t properly flush a Koran using the low-flow toilets in their cells.
They’re deathly afraid of hamburgers after having seen “Supersize Me“.
After a 30-day interrogation session featuring Beatles music & Dr. Seuss books, they refuse to eat anything except green eggs and walrus.
Not taking a bite until Season 2 of Firefly goes into production.
I might join them for that one.

I suppose I should be concerned about this tragic development, but somehow I just can’t find it in my heart to care.
I’m too broken up about Brad & Jennifer.