Top Ten Reasons Why Britney Shaved Her Head

10: She forgot the number for 911.
9. No one had taken her photo in two and half seconds.
8. Someone told her white was the new black.She thought they meant supremacists.
7. Felt like she was missing out on stuff, y’know LIFE. Life as a bald person.
6. K-Fed was the one that always picked out the bowl.
5. Tired of everyone calling her a dumb blond.
4 Figured no one would notice her kewl new neck tattoo if it was covered up with stupid hair stuff.
3. For a million dollars.
2. So she could get beamed up on the spaceship that’s following the comet.
And the number 1 reason B.S. shaved her head.


1. Remembered to stop at her waist. Forgot which end to start on.

5 Comments

  1. Her hair, along with her panties, were what she lost to Kevin Federline in the divorce.
    The race with Rosie O’ Donnell for “Unfit Mother of the Year” was just too damn close and she wanted to make sure she came out on top.
    Hollywood is remaking “Star Trek: The Motion Picture” and she’s hoping to get the role of Ilea.
    It draws attention away from her lip synching.
    Her new tour is called “Airports Lounges Across America” and she wanted to make sure she fit in with the Hari Krishnas.
    It makes her more aerodynamic so she can get from club to club even faster and fit more partying into her busy partying schedule.
    Her hats had become too tight from her inflated ego so she figured that shaving her head to make them fit would be easier than humbling herself.
    The smooth surface makes it easier to stick Post-It Notes to herself reminding her to feed and bathe her children…or at least to tell the nanny to do it.

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