So now the Democrats are a majority in Congress and they can’t even get a non-binding resolution passed. If they can’t even be counted on for symbolic gestures, what exactly are they good for?

Pajamas Media will be running a presidential straw poll up until the primary elections, and you get to vote once a week based on your own fickle biases. PJM will also keep track of precincts, with each blog being a precinct. So, this is the IMAO precinct, the most happening precinct around. So, vote!

I’ll be interested to hear who you vote for and why, especially on the Democratic side. Also, if you vote for Hagel on the Republican side, I’ll harm you and maybe your family too.
As for me, I vote for whoever has the nicest hair… just like most of the public! Sorry, Guiliani, but I don’t think America is ready for a balding president.

I’ve never trusted Prudential. As far as I’m concerned, there’s something about being established and well respected that sends up a red flag. My suspicions were confirmed this morning when I read Michelle Malkin’s latest post.
Turns out that at the New York Times (Motto: Our Nuclear Launch Code Is # 2211B17110Z4 *) they seem to be concerned that ‘A Rock’ and ‘Iraq’ seem to sound alike and there might be something more going on.
Well, I don’t care.
I’m here to review the commercials and that’s that.
Doritos. (Bold. Smooth. Crunch.) This commercial starts off with a guy cruising and checking out a girl walking down the road. HE crashes and then something happens and she gets into trouble too. Crash?
Verdict: Huh? Everyone says this is a great commercial and it was produced by somebody winning a contest. I think contest winners should stick to redeeming product codes and stuff because this commercial sucked.
Bud Light. Rock Paper Scissors. Hey. Rock. That’s sounds like Iraq too! Maybe the Wacky Times is onto something. Two guys grab the same beer at the same time. They decide to do rock, paper, scissors. Turns out that one of these guys uses a real rock and bonks the other one on the head. Is this funny? Is this some sort of symbol of Sunni/Shiite repression?
Verdict: If I want to watch senseless attacks, I’ll go and watch The View.
Blockbuster Video. Some animals are trying to use the internet by using a real mouse. The mouse wants to live in peace and study its Koran. Is this a symbol of something?
Verdict: Hey, where do you plug this thing? Good line. Dull commercial.
Sierra Mist: Combover. I didn’t notice any combover and it’s rude to mention it. Those of you who have full heads of hair should get off your rosy little pedestals and come down to earth.
Verdict: Cool skates.
Snickers: Two mechanics work their way toward the middle of a candy bar. They end up kissing.
Verdict: Gross, but this reminds me of a classic punch line — “Read the card. Read the card.”
FedEx. Bad News: America has invaded the moon under false pretenses so that the American Business Empire can expand its corporately greedy sticky fingers and mine it for oil or something. Good News: FedEx can help you save on shipping.
Verdict: This ad needed a dinosaur.
Katie Couric for the CBS Evening news. This is hilarious. She is so funny. “We’ll tell you what’s happening in the world.” I kept expecting them to cut away to a scene of her playing badminton or something.
Verdict: I love this one. Is this a beer commercial?
One pet peeve: Too much dinosaur.

Bud Light Auctioneer. This is everyman’s dream wedding. I commend the people at Bud Light for getting in touch with the sensitive side of the everyday man.
Verdict: I cried. But I always cry at weddings. Where’s my beer?
Budweiser: The Little White Dog sitting there like a poor starving Iraqi boy, who was probably better off under Saddam Hussein, sees a parade and is jealous off the Dalmatians riding up in the cars with the participants. Poor doggie gets splashed with mud and sees himself in spots. He then joins the parade as a Dalmation where he gets mud all over the Parade Queen.
Verdict: Cute. Budweiser always manages to have the right blend of American domination and cute furry animals.
GoDaddy.com. We see a man telling us about godaddy.com and how we can have domain names for dirt cheap. He then shows us the marketing department where we see girls with wet T-shirts. In another reference to Iraq, the girls have rock hard nipples!
Verdict: I love this commercial.
Chevrolet: (Old motto: Like “a rock”) A bunch of ladies pull up to the stoplight. This makes men salivate and want to strip and touch their car. It’s funny to see an old with a concave chest and his clavicles sticking out. Was that an old man, or was that Nicole Richie? I’ll have to check the video.
Verdict. Eh. Whatever.
CareerBuilder.com: These were funny commercials. Survivor meets the job promotion. The guy with the hat made from a binder was priceless.
Verdict: One of the funniest of the evening.
**
Well, that’s it for the review. You people should stop seeing so much into things and just sit back and enjoy the show. There’s a new one coming up with lots of Dinosaurs. They’re going to feature my favorite one: The Iranisnex.

Amanda Marcotte of the popular liberal blog Pandagon was hired by the John Edwards campaign. When Marcotte’s posts were subsequently scrutinized, many were surprised to see that her writing consisted solely of a combination of angry swearing and casual swearing. Those more familiar with liberal blogs were not so surprised as profanity laced rants has always seemed to be the norm on that side of the blogosphere. This may seem odd to some as it would be expected that the most popular political blogs would contain intelligent analysis of the issues of the day, and both anger and the use of vulgarity often indicative of the opposite of careful analysis. The right side of the blogosphere conforms with this, as the most popular political blogs there are seldom angry or vulgar. In fact, the only time I’ve seen Glenn Reynolds go off into a stream of obscenities is when I met him in person.
Now, this isn’t just a moral issue, as many of the right-wing blogs are not socially conservative and it’s assumed the authors have no moral problem with swearing. Thus, those who eschew vulgarity seem to do so more out of societal expectations that the liberal bloggers seem immune to. Now, there are bloggers on the right who do use vulgarity and rant and there are liberal bloggers who do calm analysis that could be read on national TV, but if you look at the most popular blogs on both the right and the left, one is left with the feeling that angry swearing harms ones credibility on the right while it’s expected on the left. Obscenity by them is used in everything including hot button issues, fiscal analysis, and cat-blogging. Looking also at commenters for the various sites even drives this point home further. While swearing is more common on both sides from commenters, the left almost seems incapable of writing a sentence without using vulgarity. Were one to use Democratic Underground;s forum as an example, you’d think liberals are incapably of understanding simple nouns unless they are bookended with swear words. It’s almost like a typing form of Tourette’s syndrome.
So, why is this? Here are the most common hypotheses in the psychological community:
* Liberals Put a Strong Emphasis on Feelings: It’s a common trope among conservatives that liberals care less about facts and more about feelings. While this is easily dismissed as partisan rancor, it does contribute to an explanation of the use of vulgarity in liberal blog posts. Vulgarity is an easy way to express strong feelings on an issue and create a bond with the reader, but only if the reader finds vulgarity to be acceptable in the situation. This was confirmed by the Shchedrov Institute by measuring brain patterns when someone is exposed to a vulgar rant and also when someone converses with a well known friend. When the subject is not adverse to vulgarity and also was similarly concerned with the subject being ranted about, the brain patterns during the rant were a close match to the brain patterns when conversing with a friend. There were no controls for political bias, though.

Continue reading ‘Frank Analysis: Liberal Blogs and Vulgarity’ »

When Frank said

I say it’s either time to retire this football thing or come up with some new type of play (maybe one where they roll the ball).

What he meant to say was, “I say this football thing is a quagmire, have we really tried to understand why the NFC hates the AFC? Have we totally given up on trying to negotiate a peace? The civil war in the National Football League was caused by another failed attempt by the Bush administration at nation building that has gotten us stuck, in Iraq, like president Bush. Who is neither articulate, African-American or clean.”
Sorry for the confusion. We at IMAO love football. For that matter we love all sports including NASCAR.
Of course when I say sports, I’m excluding soccer, c’mon that’s not a sport.

The final round of Pickle Tales at Podcast Pickle is up.
I swore an oath before the first round that I’d pull a Terrance and Phillip in the final round, and I stuck by that oath.
So, here’s what you need to do:

1. Listen
2. Register
3. Vote
4. Spread the word

There will be three promos appearing on the 100 Word Stories Podcast feed in the next three days for your amusement.
Thank you for your support so far, and thank you to Phil Rossi for being a more-than-worthy opponent.

Continue reading ‘The Final Showdown’ »