I’ve never trusted Prudential. As far as I’m concerned, there’s something about being established and well respected that sends up a red flag. My suspicions were confirmed this morning when I read Michelle Malkin’s latest post.
Turns out that at the New York Times (Motto: Our Nuclear Launch Code Is # 2211B17110Z4 *) they seem to be concerned that ‘A Rock’ and ‘Iraq’ seem to sound alike and there might be something more going on.
Well, I don’t care.
I’m here to review the commercials and that’s that.
Doritos. (Bold. Smooth. Crunch.) This commercial starts off with a guy cruising and checking out a girl walking down the road. HE crashes and then something happens and she gets into trouble too. Crash?
Verdict: Huh? Everyone says this is a great commercial and it was produced by somebody winning a contest. I think contest winners should stick to redeeming product codes and stuff because this commercial sucked.
Bud Light. Rock Paper Scissors. Hey. Rock. That’s sounds like Iraq too! Maybe the Wacky Times is onto something. Two guys grab the same beer at the same time. They decide to do rock, paper, scissors. Turns out that one of these guys uses a real rock and bonks the other one on the head. Is this funny? Is this some sort of symbol of Sunni/Shiite repression?
Verdict: If I want to watch senseless attacks, I’ll go and watch The View.
Blockbuster Video. Some animals are trying to use the internet by using a real mouse. The mouse wants to live in peace and study its Koran. Is this a symbol of something?
Verdict: Hey, where do you plug this thing? Good line. Dull commercial.
Sierra Mist: Combover. I didn’t notice any combover and it’s rude to mention it. Those of you who have full heads of hair should get off your rosy little pedestals and come down to earth.
Verdict: Cool skates.
Snickers: Two mechanics work their way toward the middle of a candy bar. They end up kissing.
Verdict: Gross, but this reminds me of a classic punch line — “Read the card. Read the card.”
FedEx. Bad News: America has invaded the moon under false pretenses so that the American Business Empire can expand its corporately greedy sticky fingers and mine it for oil or something. Good News: FedEx can help you save on shipping.
Verdict: This ad needed a dinosaur.
Katie Couric for the CBS Evening news. This is hilarious. She is so funny. “We’ll tell you what’s happening in the world.” I kept expecting them to cut away to a scene of her playing badminton or something.
Verdict: I love this one. Is this a beer commercial?
One pet peeve: Too much dinosaur.
Bud Light Auctioneer. This is everyman’s dream wedding. I commend the people at Bud Light for getting in touch with the sensitive side of the everyday man.
Verdict: I cried. But I always cry at weddings. Where’s my beer?
Budweiser: The Little White Dog sitting there like a poor starving Iraqi boy, who was probably better off under Saddam Hussein, sees a parade and is jealous off the Dalmatians riding up in the cars with the participants. Poor doggie gets splashed with mud and sees himself in spots. He then joins the parade as a Dalmation where he gets mud all over the Parade Queen.
Verdict: Cute. Budweiser always manages to have the right blend of American domination and cute furry animals.
GoDaddy.com. We see a man telling us about godaddy.com and how we can have domain names for dirt cheap. He then shows us the marketing department where we see girls with wet T-shirts. In another reference to Iraq, the girls have rock hard nipples!
Verdict: I love this commercial.
Chevrolet: (Old motto: Like “a rock”) A bunch of ladies pull up to the stoplight. This makes men salivate and want to strip and touch their car. It’s funny to see an old with a concave chest and his clavicles sticking out. Was that an old man, or was that Nicole Richie? I’ll have to check the video.
Verdict. Eh. Whatever.
CareerBuilder.com: These were funny commercials. Survivor meets the job promotion. The guy with the hat made from a binder was priceless.
Verdict: One of the funniest of the evening.
**
Well, that’s it for the review. You people should stop seeing so much into things and just sit back and enjoy the show. There’s a new one coming up with lots of Dinosaurs. They’re going to feature my favorite one: The Iranisnex.
The Iranisnex is my favorite dinosaur too! And I’ve just sent my resume in to join the godaddy marketing department.
The guy with the hat made from a binder was priceless.
It’s probably only a matter of time until the “binder-hat community” in San Francisco demands that the Board of Supervisors pass an ordinance requiring the four remaining employers in San Francisco (a sex toys store, a massage parlor, a topless bar, and the Municipal Railway, which runs the cable cars) to permit their employees to wear binders on their heads. Or perhaps to require their employees to wear binders on their heads.
The Sierra Mist ad was made more funny simply because of Jim Gaffigan. the guy is a friggin’ riot!
you didn’t mention my favorite, the Robert Goulet emerald Nuts ad, where he’s the office gremlin/sandman during that time after lunch when everyone is groggy and bored. It was surreal but really tickled my bizarre notions of humor.
the Coke ads were sappy little homages to Utopian globalism. Pinheads. that’s why I drink Mountain Dew.
There were some Frontier Airline ads that were funny too, but those may have been regional because of the Denver hub.
Back to the New York Timebombs:
//More than a dozen spots celebrated violence in an exaggerated, cartoonlike vein that was intended to be humorous, but often came across as cruel or callous…//
And during a football game, too. Oh, the shame.
//…Then, too, there was the unfortunate homonym at the heart of a commercial from Prudential Financial, titled “What Can a Rock Do?”//
Didn’t he watch the rock/paper/scissors ad by Bud? A rock can win you a beer!
I think I want to play rock/paper/scissors with Stuart Elliott. He can bring the paper(The NYT); I’m going to bring a rock AND the scissors. Bloodshed will ensue.
About the Doritoes ad…
I think it was you, Ducky, who once mentioned that – strictly in terms of humor value – having a woman get hurt isn’t as funny as when it happens to a man.
I didn’t like that ad because it violated that law of physical comedy.
Now the rock-paper-scissors one… freakin’ AWESOME!
I loved that condescension dripping from the Coke ads that stated that Black History month was really important, especially Super Bowl Sunday. Because, you know, a lot of the players are black.
Man, I love the way the racial pandering seems so much more like racial belittling when put into a tight 30 second package. They, apparently never learned the definition of irony.
Blockbuster Video and Budweiser are making pro-muslim statements. If you have nothing better to do, and you look really hard, you will notice that the words ANIMALS and DALMATIANS both contain the word ISLAM.
It’s obviously some sort of subliminal message.
The Budweiser ad thanking our service men and women was outstanding! If I still drank, I’d switch to Budweiser immediately just because of this ad!