The Reverend Ted Haggard is now officially out of Gay Rehab. Having been accused of doing meth with a gay prostitute, the Reverend is now ready to rejoin the heterosexual community. Said the rev, “If there’s a cure for me, then maybe there’s a cure for all the other gays out there. Not that I was gay or anything.”
Enjoying his first day of freedom, Mr. Haggard said, “I’m just gonna go out and hang out at a bar, and chew on a candy bar and see who I meet.”
If he is offered any meth, the Rev has promised to “throw it away.”

I was down by 7 votes in the Pickle Tales storytelling competition.
So FrankJ got out the word.
Now I’m down by eleven.
As a result, I’ve been forced to dig into my bag of dirty tricks and come up with some short campaign pieces to motivate you, the apathetic non-voting online public:

• Dead Cats And Rocky
• Thanking The Competition
• The Panda-Molesting Hitler Clone

Thank you for your support. Even you, FrankJ, although it has resulted in my slipping backwards into further oblivion, despair, and defeat.
(Maybe Kos could raise money for my opponent?)

Continue reading ‘Going down in bright, pretty flames…’ »

Here’s a story about an astronaut going spacey.
Update: And to think her route took her soggy bottom right by where I work. Less than 200 yards actually.

I have completed the first chapter of Hellbender and am working on the second chapter. After SarahK looks over the first chapter and corrects the grammar so it doesn’t seem like a three-year-old wrote it, I’ll put it up in the Slush section of Baen’s Bar for those who want to help critique it. You’ll need to register for the forum to participate, but it only takes a minute and I’ve never gotten bothered by them on the e-mail address I provided.
Writing is a passion of mine but I have a lot to learn. Any help in critiquing will be especially appreciated, and you’ll earn extra IMAO Bonus Points which are redeemable for free IMAO posts.

So, what to make of Rudy Giuliani? Well, one thing you can’t argue about is how effective he was as mayor, especially if you’re someone like me who knew both pre-Giuliani and post-Giuliani New York. That city was a mess under Dinkins and New Yorkers had accepted getting stabbed as just part of city life. Then Giuliani came in and cleaned up the place from the bottom up, once famously beating to death a group of panhandlers with a tire iron. Getting stabbed became so uncommon as to actually be newsworthy again.
Will Giuliani clean up terrorism like he did crime? I think so. They attacked his city while he was mayor, and he is very angry at them. You can tell by his eyes he wants nothing more than to personally hurt terrorists. If he ever saw a terrorist, you know he would knock the terrorist to the ground and stomp on him and hit him with whatever was at hand – probably a metal trashcan. In many way, this is exactly the sort of president we need.
But what about other issues that social conservatives like me care about? While he says he firmly supports legalized abortion, he claims he would have made the same judicial appointments as President Bush. If you believe him, then a lot of social conservatives could live with that. Then there’s his social life, and Republicans really don’t want to elect their own Clinton. How do we know he won’t embarrass us there, and how much do we care in a time of war?
Then there’s the issue that concerns both social conservatives and libertarians: Guns. When interviewed by Sean Hannity last night, he said he’s for states making their own laws but stuck by New York’s gun control laws saying they were appropriate for a densely populated area. In other words, he’s for gun rights except in places where you’re likely to need a gun for self-defense. That’s disturbing to me, because I see a stance on gun rights as an indicator of how someone views American freedom in general.
I trust Giuliani on the terrorists killing issue – the most important issue – but how many failings in other areas are allowed before a personal desire to step on terrorists’ necks is not enough? What do you think?

Ingrid Newkirk’s PETA (People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals) claims to be an animal rights group, but their outrageous headline-grabbing tactics are rarely more than criminal thuggery laced with fits of blatant bloody-handed hypocrisy.

In response to the “Holocaust On Your Plate” media campaign that mocked the Holocaust, blogger Meryl Yourish responded with “Eat A Tasty Animal For PETA Day” (EATAPETA) campaign on March 15, 2003. Bloggers and non-bloggers are invited to revolt against PETA’s ham-fisted tactics by eating animals on this day.

This year will be the Fifth Annual International Eat an Animal for Peta Day. Join us – it will be delicious.

But wait… how can you join in the fun?

Go to the Eat A Tasty Animal For PETA Day Homepage and look for a gatheringplace in your town. If your town is not listed yet, well, why not let us know when and where you will be hosting a gathering.

Sure, you can eat animal food products all by your lonesome, but you are encouraged to organize an promote your own gatheringplace to celebrate the carnivore side of your omnivorous nature.

As you may know, Laurence Simon has made it to the final round of the Pickle Tales contest at Podcast Pickle. What you don’t know is all that’s at stake hear. First, Laurence has worked hard in all these rounds and learned awesome new editing skills. He plans to revive the IMAO Podcast, and, if you listened to any of his entires, you can just imagine how great it will now be with his editing. But, if he loses this contest, he’s going to fall into a bout of depression from which he quite possibly will never recover. Not only will there be no new podcasts, there will be no more posts. You’ll come to IMAO and exclaim, “Where’s the Jewishness?” for it will be no where to be found.
But who will celebrate? Terrorists, that’s who. Reportedly, they’ve already prepped their guns to fire in the air when their favorite, Phil “Muhammad” Rossi, beats the “scheming IMAO Jew.” Rossi, Lair’s competition, hates puppies and loves terrorists (who also hate puppies). Winning this podcast contest we would be a huge boon for terrorism, while if Lair wins it might finally break their morale and let Israel occupy all of the Middle East as they’ve always planned.
So,
* Listen
* Register
* Vote
The Zionist conspiracy depends on it!
UPDATE:
Right now, seven votes separate Lair from the top spot. Every vote counts!