Since Harry Reid is declaring things such as that the war is lost (Hear that, terrorists? You won! Yay!), I’d like to declare some things.
I declare that Harry Reid has no penis and is, in fact, a little girl.
I declare that Ted Kennedy is nothing buy the giant Jabba the Hutt puppet from Return of the Jedi placed in a suit.
I declare that Nancy Pelosi is nothing but an animatronic made by stretching an old piece of leather on a plaster skull.
Apparently 2nd amendment sex lasts 59 minutes.
That’s 58 minutes longer than it takes for the new Congress to tuck tail & run.
I declare that Hillary Clinton is actually one of the flying monkeys from the Wizard of Oz.
I declare today (4/20) to be the official “Kill a Pot-smoking Hippie Day”.
I declare that Hillary Clinton is Rosie’s sex-slave
I declare that Murtha wears pink panties every day
I declare that Tim Russert and Brian Williams are engaged to each other
I declare that Silky Pony has ugly hair
I declare that Ted Kennedy is an ugly fat retard homo prick
I declare that I whole heartedly agree with AlanABQ.
I declare Fred Thompson the next President of the United States.
I declare HARRY REID an Old Treasonous Twinkie!!
“I declare today (4/20) to be the official “Kill a Pot-smoking Hippie Day”.”
You got my vote for that!
I declare myself as a non-profit organization called, “Guns for Chris.” All donations to “Guns for Chris” will be tax deductible. By giving the gift of a gun to Chris, you’ll be giving the gift of second amendment deliciousness.
Although I enjoyed your analogies, I must beg to disagree.
Harry Reid is the Scarecrow (If I only had a brain–),
Ted Kennedy is the “Giant Oz” (empty space echo chamber).
And San Fran Nan is the wicked Witch of the West.
Murtha is the Cowardly Lion,
Hillary Clinton and Diane Feinstein are both winged monkeys ( a good reason to hunt monkeys),
Edwards (Silky Pony) is the Tin Woodsman (all shine and empty).
Or the 2nd Ammendment Sex lasted 1 minute and it took 57 minutes to think up and post this entry…more likely I’m thinkin’
I declare that consummate loudmouth Alec Baldwin should not have any contact with his daughter, any one else’s daughter, or anyone else’s phone, since he can’t seem to shut the fk up. Who let that asshole near a phone anyway? His phone encounter with Hannity should’ve been a sign.
Retard. Forget the hippies; I declare 4/20 to be “Kick Alec Baldwin’s Teeth Down His Fking Throat Day”.
I declare that Joe Biden is a sissified plagarizing dick-head for blaming the VT shootings on Bush and Rove!
OOOO! I Declare Dean Cain is the HOTTEST benevolent overlord Kal El ever!!!
I declare I am my Benevolent Overlord Kal El’s favoritest concubine ever!!!
I declare that Jayne Cobb shall be MY personal body guard.
I the declarations about shooting hippies and kicking Alec Baldwin in the teeth, I declare we do both!!
I declare that my name is now . . . Evil Betty!!!
I declare that “Hairy Reed” would be a great name for a gay porn star.
I declare that the democrats are too stupid to live, and if they were left alone in a room with the French the mutual surrender attempts would starve them all to death.
I declare that being a conservative should grant you superhuman powers and abilities.
I declare that Rosie O’Donnell is really Michael Moore in drag.
I declare that Alec Baldwin should have his fingers eaten off by rabid chinchillas.
I declare that Fred Thompson should name Optimus Prime as his running mate.
Sadly, being foreign-born, he’s not eligible.
How about the Terminator?
Do you know that there is no provision barring a android or sentient machine from becoming President? The Constitution requires that the one in question:
1) Be a natural born citizen (A legal term meaning born in America)
2) Be thirty five years old
3) Fourteen Years a resident within the United States.
Nothing in there that says “Has to be a member of species homo sapiens.”
I declare Joe Lieberman a PUNDIT amongst Pudenda
Al Gore declares another presidential candidacy right after eating Barack Obama, which ought to give him enough green house gas credits for a few decades.
Oompa Loompa Doomedwithme Doo
I’ve got a campaign platform for you
Oompa Loompa, Dumbasme Dee
If you are wise you’ll listen to me
What do you get when you guzzle down gas
Polluting as much as an elephants ass
Foreigners think you’re a stinking fat cat
I’m better fit for a disruption like that
Anyway, I think I’ll make something of it
Oompa Loompa Dumpwithme Dah
Those greedy Republicans have gone to far
I believe we’re all doomed too
If we don’t do like the Oompa Loompa Dumperdee Do
Doomedwithme Too
I declare the Democratic Party to be traitors.
I declare the KosKids and most American college profs and admins to be communists.
I declare Howard Dean to be a nutjob, and Harry Reid butt-monkey.
I declare 4/21 to be “Kill Anyone Unsure of Their Sexuality Day.” C’mon, what’s up with “trans-gender? If you do not know if you’re a boy or a girl, look in your pants.
I declare Victor Davis Hanson the greatest historian who has ever lived.
I declare Nancy Pelosi’s face to be a danger to the Replacement Rate of the US, Europe, and Japan.
I declare that henceforth Booze shall be it’s own food group.
I declare that sarcasm is a super power, and therefor I am a super hero and eligible for Aquajerk’s seat on the JLA.
I declare 4/21 to be both national “Kill Anyone Unsure Of Their Sexuality Day” and national “Beat A White Gangsta Day”, damn those idiots piss me off…
I declare that poetic injustice owes me a new keyboard.
I declare that the AlGore not be allowed in public unless painted orange with green hair.
I declare anyone caught not wearing a belt with pants down past their butt crack will be beaten within an inch of their life with said belt and then forced to wear the belt that they were beaten with for the rest of their lives!
I declare that John Edwards needs to be handcuffed to the back leg of a cow and dragged through a pasture for several days.
I declare Al Sharpton needs to learn sign language and then use it and only it for the rest of eternity
I declare Brad Pitt, Anglena Jolie and Jennifer Anniston’s names should be banned from all print journalism, forever
I declare Alec Baldwin needs to committed to a rehabilitation facility for the dangerously atrociously dim witted and never allowed access to either phone, computer or human contact.
I declare the “religion of peace needs to fall on it’s own sword” and put us all out of their misery
I declare the Stone of Scone be returned permanently to Scotland and that Britain should cease it’s illegal occupation of said country, as well as Northern Ireland and Wales (yeah, yeah, I know, not a cause celebre and so petty, but important to little ol’ me)
I declare today, April 22, to be “Round Up the Loony Left Day.”
Will Mssrs. Michael Moore, Rosie O’Donell, John Kerry, Teresa Ketchup Kerry, Bill Clinton, Harry Reid, Nancy Pelosi, Ted Kennedy, Alec Baldwin, all of the KosKids please report to the re-education centers; I got a good deal from the Kmer Rouge on running them, so you have nothing to worry about.
That is all.
I declare this week, April 22-28, “Piss Off a Muslim Week.”
So get out there and burn a Koran, distribute Hindu or Christian literature in front of a mosque, call for the firebombing of Mecca, talk sense to a Mahmoudi, and blow up the UN. (It will help greatly if you put videos up of any of these sacred and holy actions where the towelheads can find them and then have an excuse to run rampant in the streets. (Why do they always run rampant? (What is rampant, anyway?)))
I declare that April 22nd is “Feed Your Whiny Adversary Day”. On this day henceforth, you should send buckets of KFC to PETA headquarters & member’s homes, along with day passes to your local zoo. Also, send sausage, ham & pepperoni pizzas to every mosque in your city and/or county. If you live in a rural area where there aren’t any mosques or veggie-tards, right on! Keep it that way.
I declare that we must all refer to the Democrats as “pussies”
I declare that no one be allowed to go to rehab for anything that they say.
Corrollary: I declare that no one coming out of rehab be allowed a clean slate of forgiveness.
Ya done it, now live with it. Or as my mom would have said: you made your bed, lie in it.