The Democrats are still trying to pass their war funding bill that includes a date for surrender. Other than that, their’s quite a lot of pork and other objectionable spending. Some examples:
OBJECTIONABLE EXPENDITURES IN THE EMERGENCY WAR FUNDS BILL
$13 million for huge “Mission Failure” Democrat rally.
$80,000 to get a passed out Ted Kennedy off of the Air and Space Museum roof.
$0.25 to give to troops complaining about the Democrats’ support so they can call someone who cares.
$5 million for posturing about doing something in Dafur.
$10 million for fact-finding mission on penis-enlargement spam.
$8 million for research of when it is appropriate to refer to women as “hos.”
$20 million for floral patterns on tanks so they seem happier.
$5 million to buy foam rocks for Palestinians to relive Mideast crisis. (Ed. Note: That one might work)
$1 million for poll on whether Harry Reid’s tie makes him look gay.
$300 million for weapons for insurgents to make sure the U.S. doesn’t show favoritism.
$3 for a bag of Doritos in case they get the Democrats get the munchies.

Polls show that a record number of Americans are against the war. Simple solution if you don’t like the war: Don’t fight in it! Seriously, though, one huge difference between Iraq and Vietnam is how most Americans aren’t affected by the war at all. There’s no chance of them or their children randomly getting called out to fight, and most don’t even seem to know anyone in the military. For most people, the war is simply an abstraction that they know of from a few snippets on the news. They don’t like the war… but they also don’t like clam shell packaging. It’s not like they’re going to do anything about it.

(for Lynn)
HuffPo’s token Righty, Greg Gutfield, posted a list of things that Democrats secretly fear. Lots of good stuff there, like:

Fear that even if the democrats win the 08 election, Europeans will still look down on us and Muslims will still want to kill us.
Fear that capitalism actually works better than any other economic system
Fear that America really is the freest country in the world
Fear that going it alone when you think you’re right is more moral than trying to build a coalition with dictators, thieves and cowards.

The comments to Greg’s post were laced with typical leftist insanity, BDS, and wishes for Greg’s swift-yet-painful death. But nobody did a list for Republicans.
Geez, how many times do I have to do the heavy lifting for these losers?
So here’s a list of things Republicans fear, as I would imagine that a short-sighted, logic-impaired, humor-tarded liberal might write them while maintaining a straight face (albeit one almost literally glowing with smug, self-satisfied hubris):

• Fear that if the Democrats win the 08 election and America pulls out of Iraq, Europeans might respect us again and Muslims will no longer have a good reason to kill us.
• Fear that socialized medicine will NOT completely destroy capitalism like Republican doomsayers keep bleating.
• Fear that America could actually take lessons in freedom from countries that don’t torture or execute their citizens.
• Fear that the puppets America’s installed in the Iraqi government will eventually bite the hand that feeds them, just like Saddam, and just like Osama, who both used to be our pals but didn’t stay bought.
• Fear that your “innocent jokes” reveal your true racist nature.
• Fear that no one’s buying your jingoistic propaganda any more.
• Fear that it isn’t possible to get your piece of the American dream because the playing field really ISN’T level.
• Fear that there are actually things the government can do to level the playing field.
• Fear that when people “speak truth to power”, YOU’RE the one they’re talking to, and that you ought to listen.
• Fear that Fox isn’t fair and balanced.
• Fear that Dan Rather’s memos were real.
• Fear that Clinton’s impeachment was a substanceless case of political grandstanding.
• Fear that an impeachment case against Bush wouldn’t be.
• Fear that school voucher programs would hurt the children who couldn’t afford to use them.
• Fear that the reality-based community really is.
• Fear that you’re only echoing Republican talking points, and have no original thoughts of your own.
• Fear that the Palestinians have good reasons to fight against Israel.
• Fear that gay marriage is less of a threat to the institution than heterosexual abuse and adultery.
• Fear that enforcing cookie-cutter, one-size-fits-all educational standards will not do anything to get at-risk students the help they need, even though they make you feel better.
• Fear that Communism can’t be as bad as Joe McCarthy & Ronald Reagan told you it was, as proven by the fact that the Chinese economy is growing three times faster than America’s.
• Fear that, by laughing at Al Gore, you’re giving a death sentence to your children and your children’s children.
• Fear that oil doesn’t necessarily have to be the world’s main source of energy.
• Fear that oil isn’t something that innocent people have to die for.

And yes, I know this list isn’t funny. I said I was writing like a Democrat, didn’t I?
Now if you’ll excuse me, I have to go take a long, long shower.

Reacting to the Virginia Tech massacre, The View co-host Rosie O’Donnell called on Americans to end their love affair with Koreans. “A Korean is responsible for the biggest murder spree in American history, therefore, to prevent the recurrence of similar crimes in the future, we must immediately ban all Koreans.” “At the very least,” proclaimed O’Donnell, “our leaders must pass legislation mandating the immediate utilization of safeguards that prevent Koreans from falling into the wrong hands and killing again.”

If I had to put my finger on the main thing wrong with society today, it’s that we don’t make use of rockets enough to solve our daily problems.
If you need to put a bow tie on an aardvark, make sure to set aside at least an hour.
They say let sleeping dogs lie, but kicking the small ones is cheap entertainment.
Its a fact of life that people are going to try to stab you.
Babies know the content of your soul. That’s why they cry.
Ugly people are not worth talking to.
The faster you drive, the quicker you’ll sober.
You can survive for about 36 days on just Tootsie Pops and Mountain Dew. After that, subjects tend to have organ failure.
Catching a machete thrown at you is about as hard as it looks.
No argument can beat a hammer.
Liberals aren’t very gung ho on fighting terrorists because secretly they also want to kill gays and the Jews.
Bears only attack the immoral.
Wearing a black ninja outfit and ambushing someone from a tree is not an excuse for sloppy kung fu techniques.

Ex-U.S. military officials testified at U.N. Security Council on Climate Change that global warming could mean more conflict and war in the world. Apparently we’ve decided to stop pretending this is a scientific issue and just let everyone get hysterical about the temperature possibly rising a degree or two. Thus, here are more groups testifying on the dangers of global warming:
MORE TESTIMONY ABOUT GLOBAL WARMING FROM JOBLESS, NON-CLIMATOLOGISTS
* According to former teamsters, global warming could cause an increase in naps and surliness among union workers.
* According to former police officers, global warming could cause more people to tan and thus have dark enough skin to require harassment by the man.

This is a globe. Try not to warm it.

• According to former astronauts, global warming could mean an increase in budget for space flights since every one will want to hang out in the space station since its cool up there.
• According to former firemen, global warming could mean shorter walks for firehouse dalmatian because of the threat of heat exhaustion. Not having his exercise, the dog will then chew on furniture. Furniture replacement will then increase their budget by 5%. Global warming could also cause more fires, but that’s okay because they have protective hats.
• According to former ice cream truck drivers, global warming could mean a huge increase in ice cream. Man they sure wish they hadn’t had their trucks confiscated by the state for the multiple DUIs.
• According to former ninjas, global warming could mean a decrease in foliage making it harder for them to ambush people from trees.
• According to the guy who used to sell pickles on the side of the road, global warming could cause a 13% reduction in the cucumber crop. He also warns of the adverse health effect of global warming and how that can be prevented by drinking pickle juice.
• According to former serial killers, global warming could mean more talking dogs urging people to kill.
• According to former Canadian, global warming could have an effect on ice which is important to ice hockey (hence the name). This would mean a huge increase in Canadian suicides because what else would they have left to do?
• According to former bloggers, global warming could mean less cats and thus a decrease in the quantity of Friday, cat-themed blogging. According to former blog-readers, that would be awesome!

I am quite astounded by the lengths to which one company will go to collect on an imagined bill of $38.95.
Back in July of 2005, I was in need of a new suit. Being that I rarely go out for the purpose of buying clothes (my wardrobe consists solely of shirts I’ve received as Christmas or birthday gifts), I went to Men’s Wearhouse and splurged a bit and purchased a couple suits and a number of dress shirts as well as a pair of deer-skin shoes. I got a discount if I used their credit, so I opened an account with them. Before any interest accrued, I paid off the bill in full.
All good so far. Well, for a little over a year, I made no more use of the credit I got from Men’s Wearhouse. Then, in August 2006, they sent me a check for $38.95. Having done nothing with my account for so long, it seemed it must have been some error. Still, it’s been many many years since I cared about a sum of money less than forty dollars, so I just let SarahK file it away.
A little while later I received a bill from Men’s Wearhouse for $38.95. I was a bit indignant about this. It doesn’t seem right to me that you can send me a check and then bill me for it. Now they were asking me to go cash the check and mail back a payment for the same amount; their error was going to cost me my time. It seems to me they should have just called and said that they sent me a check in error, and then I could tell them I never cashed it, and all would be good in the world. Just sending me a bill seemed rather impersonal and tactless.
I put the bill in my “to do” pile, but frankly, I’m rather lazy about this sort of thing because I hate having to take time out of my work day to crawl through some automated system until I can find my way to a live human being somewhere in South Asia… especially when all the effort is to explain to them that, no, I don’t owe you this measly bill.
So I forgot about it until I received the next bill with late charges. I finally went ahead and called them and talked to someone named “Phil” with an Indian accent. Ends up they already reported my delinquency on this non-existent sum to the credit agency, but it only took the customer service rep a minute at his computer to realize that this was their error. They credited someone else’s payment to my account and sent me a check for the excess before they realized the error. He said he would file this for investigation and it should all be taken care of and removed from my credit report in sixty days. That seemed like a long time, but I wasn’t planning on buying a house any time soon, and I’m lazy, so I let it go at the time.
Soon we started to get odd phone calls. SarahK usually screens, so what we got were recorded voice message telling us to call a number for a “great opportunity from GE Money.” It sounded like some phone scam, so we ignored it, but we got one about every day. SarahK finally answered one of the phone calls, and it was Men’s Wearhouse trying to collect on the $38.95… now inflated by numerous late fees. They wouldn’t talk to SarahK since the credit was in my name, though. One day I answered when I was home (I just answer the phone when it rings; I’m crazy like that) and I talked to someone named “Mary” with an Indian accent who then asked to transfer me to someone in their credit department. I said “Fine” because this seemed easy to explain. I then talked to someone who actually did sound American who asked me about my bill. Now I’m thinking they hired out a collection agency for this made up, tiny bill which makes the whole thing even more ridiculous. It ends up that GE Money is who does their credit, and it was Men’s Wearhouse who had been pestering us all this time.
Anyway, it took the woman I talked to under a minute to figure out that this was indeed their error, and she told me that, if it is under investigation, don’t worry about it. So I didn’t. Still, we continued to get phone calls. It is months later now. One day I was home and answered the phone again and ended up talking to one of Men’s Wearhouse’s collection people. Again, I explained how I don’t owe them anything and this has been a lot of harassment about nothing. He saw this was true, but he couldn’t do anything because apparently the people in Men’s Wearhouse collection and Men’s Wearhouse credit don’t talk to each other (bad blood or something). He gave me a number to call and I was indignant that once again this idiocy requires action on my part. They’ve been harassing me for months, and I have to call them to plead them to stop. Over a non-existent $38.95!
The phone calls stopped, so I forgot about this until I recently received a bill from Men’s Wearhouse, now up to $178.81 that they imagined I owe them. I finally called them again yesterday afternoon and politely asked the person in India (there’s never a reason to yell at the Indians because they’re miles away from all this) to let me talk to someone higher up so I can put an end to this. I explained the whole thing — again — and the woman in customer service — the American customer service — told me they never had this listed as being disputed. She was able to immediately take care of the late fees which made me wonder why I had so many months ago been told that this would take sixty days to fix. That was because apparently they still send communiques between India and the Americas by ship, so when someone in India marks something to be looked into, they have to wait sixty days for one of their sturdy ships to find a strong wind and fair weather and make the trip to El Paso, Texas. Unfortunately, the ship with the note to check my account must have been attacked by pirates somewhere in the Atlantic and thus the months of harassment. I thought there was quicker, more reliable communication between India and America (somehow I was able to talk to both their customer service centers by phone), but I guess that wasn’t in their budget… especially when they believed they were lacking $38.95.
Anyway, the late charges were taken away, and she told me this was being corrected with the credit agency, but I was still going to be listed as owing them $38.95 until they verified the check was never cashed. After all this annoyance, I felt they owed me much more than that sum… or at least should take my word for it that I owed them nothing. She was very adamant though; this was an exceptionally important $38.95, and while this was a huge headache for me, it was nothing compared to the agony Men’s Wearhouse is under thinking it’s $38.95 poorer. Thus, the charge would remain for the 72 hours it would take for them to verify that I had never cashed the check they inexplicably sent me.
Now, does all this make sense from a business perspective? How much money did they spend harassing me over this imagined bill? I’m thinking more than $38.95. That combined with the fact I’m going to cancel my credit with them and never do business with Men’s Wearhouse again has to make this quite a huge loss. And is $38.95 really a sum you want to beat a costumer to death over? Earlier, they had sent me $100 in gift certificates because of my previous purchase with them, but later they hounded me every day over less than forty bucks. It seems at some point human eyes should have seen this and noticed how ridiculous it is. Or, at least, when what had happened was brought to light, they should have been apologetic and tried to make up for this instead of clinging to their precious $38.95.
I still like the shoes, though.