Some Operation Rumor Has It suggestions for your reading pleasure. Actual authors may claim credit in the comments if they choose.
You may safely assume that all typos were intentional.
Fellow WEezers:
First off, I want to encourage you to keep the faith! WE all know that Chimpy McBushitler and Darth Rove have long been conspring to RAPE our beautiful planet with their phallic oil drills. Well, the time is nigh for our movement. If WE don’t do something immidiotly, Gaia will perish as surely as those poor baby harp seals that were found clubbed to death on the outskirts of Crawford, Txas.
Unfortunaterlly, WE don’t have the manpower or spines to fight a full-on resistance. But, if there’s one thing I learned from countless hours playing Red Faction, it’s that you can OVERCOME anything with the right application of rediculous amounts of explosives and bullets. However, being a peace-luvving tree dweller, I cannot openly countenance the death of my fellow amerikkkans.
As the rumor goes, Chimpy and his familiars have Global Warmening fallout shelters. WE must find these lairs and wipe them out!!! All their base are belong to us!!! We must find a way to DESTROY the FASCIST PIGS and save the Earth!!! I can hear Mother Gaia, “Help me, oWE-wan-Kenobi…your my ownly hope.”
B3fore it’s too late,
Mirakel Bono
I think you are doing wonderfull work. To many people don’t understand that this earth needs to be protcted.
My suggestion has to do with carbonated beverages. I think they should be outlawed. How much Co2 is excaping every day from people drinking carbonated bevrages? Everyone knows they arn’t good for you and can rot your teeth or make kids hyper and loud. People can drink fruit juices or water which are much better. I hope you consider my idea. Thanks for your parcipation.
Dear We,
Im just so happy about this websight and it’s fabulous ideas!!! I mean it’s just so… like amazing!!! OMG the last time i like saw a website this awesome was when LOGO started theirs!!! But there is one thing I am absolutely horrified to here!!!! Did you know the ignorant right wing crazie people have actually said that John Edwards is STRAIGHT!!!! OMG like WTF, we have always known he was gay, but those ignorant liars are trying to make him seem heterosexual!!!!11 You should stop putting alll your resources into helping the planet for a little while, and try to convince the world that the gay icon, really is a flamer!!! Without him I… wait no WE would be nothing!!1 PLEASE HELP
Love you all, in more ways than one,
Elton (Rainboy) Mercury
Like those? Say so.
Think you can do better? Then do so.
Submit your Operation Needs More PC suggestion for improving WE’s offensive web site to the WEtard contact page, then send a copy to me at WEsistance@gmail.com for possible future publication at IMAO (if it doesn’t suck too terribly bad).
Dear WE
I’m sick and tired of the Bush/McCain administration’s push for more and more oil. We all know that oil is dark brown and that this is a highly racist campaign and I Barack Obama The Most Glorious Leader (May I Live Forever) condemn these racist overtones!
Barack Obama Most Glorious Leader (May I Live Forever)
Dear WE,
I’m sure you must get letters from all kinds of cranks! Like, people claiming to be that lying sack of unburnable brown oil, Barack Obama. I, too, have been receiving snail mail from Presidential candidates all wanting money from me and claiming to be friendly to the environment! How can I know if any of these are really from them? How do WE know? What does WE do when WE suspects that WE is being duped? By the way, why does WE call itself that? It reminds me of wee-wee.
that edwards one was great. 🙂
Dear WE,
Praise Allah for you! Without you spreading the truth, we would be subject to another Devil as American President!
I have to tell you of vicious rumor you need to dispell. The Devil Bush is saying that we use WOMAN and CHILDREN as suicide bombers against the invading American pigs! Can you believe that? Such rumor is stupid, PBUH.
To be a suicide bomber one must follow strict guidelines. We require and accept only social deginerates and human pigs. That is why all suicide bombers are retarded, gay, or a midget. It is the latter two groups that are mistaken for women and children.
Please spread the word! PBUH!
Khaleed (PBUH)
PS – I remember one time an applicant came to us checking all three boxes on his application! Whodathunk there’d be a retarded gay midget out there! He was accepted on the spot, and splattered his DNA before evening prayers! PBUH!
Sunday evening while channel surfing on TV, I saw the WE logo flash by. I immediately went back to see who they were sponsoring. It was the Olympics — and not even Volleyball. I’m still trying to figure out how to turn that info into a good letter. You more creative folk are surely welcome to write them and condemn/commend them.