I’ve noticed something odd. Or odd to me, anyway.
It’s happened a couple of times. And it relates to how people view this blog.
Harvey wrote a post recently. And someone, in the comments, referred to him as “Frank.”
It’s happened more than once. Thinking someone else was Frank J. And it’s happened to more than Harvey. It’s happened to Cadet Happy. It even happened to me.
Now, how someone could confuse me and Frank J. is beyond me.
For one thing, I’m older. And taller. At least, I think I’m taller. I don’t know for sure. I’ve never met Frank J. I suspect he’s, oh, 5’11” or so. Heck, he might be taller. I’m 6’2″ … but I could be short next to Frank J. He might be 7’4″ and play for the Celtics. Except they pronounce it “SELL-tix” when it’s actually “KELL-tix” so what do they know.
Anyway, this strange phenomenon means that people either…
a) don’t read the byline on the post. I mean, it says clear as day “posted by Harvey” or “posted by Frank J.” or whatever the name of the person posting is. Do people not read that part? Is it because it’s the boring part?
Actually, it’s the only part that bloggers care about. “Posted by Basil” for instance is the only part I care about.
All that nonsense that follows the byline? Junk. Means nothing. Just words. Heck, I don’t even know what I’m talking about half the time. Okay, three quarters of the time. Oh, alright. All the time.
But it doesn’t matter. It’s the byline that’s important. It has my name. Or Harvey’s name, if Harvey wrote it. Or Frank J.’s name. Or Cadet Happy’s name. Or SarahK’s name. Or SpaceMonkey’s name. Or… well, you get the idea. And a good understanding of why the part after the byline is crap. I mean, have you even read this post?
For all I care, I could be writing Latin nonsense. Lorem ipsum dolor sit amet, consectetur adipisicing elit, sed do eiusmod tempor incididunt ut labore et dolore magna aliqua. Ut enim ad minim veniam, quis nostrud exercitation ullamco laboris nisi ut aliquip ex ea commodo consequat. See? My point, exactly.
Oh, yeah, there was another possibility, wasn’t there. It was…
b) people think Frank J. posts everything here. And that could be it. Maybe people think that all the little voices in Frank J.’s head come out to play sometimes, and write their own posts.
Like we’re all Frank J.’s sockpuppets. And maybe “sockpuppet” is the wrong word. In its earliest form, it was simply an alias; today, it’s more like a fake identity to praise another identity.
So, maybe I’m simply an alias for Frank J. And you are Frank J.’s sockpuppet, telling him how great he is and how much you enjoy his posts. Ever think about that? Scary, huh? Like a Twilight Zone episode.
But what’s the answer?
Are Harvey, SarahK, SpaceMonkey, et al, simply pseudonymns for Frank J? Or are people simply not reading the bylines?
No, they are real people. Every one of them.
At least, that’s what we want you to believe.
Basil, we know the identities are mostly separate. Since Harvey is the only one who praises Frank J. when explaining to someone on his post that he isn’t Frank, that means Harvey and Frank J are one and the same person. See? Only Frank J. and his readers praise Frank J.
I have my own list of questions, however:
1. Was Cadet Happy originally female?
2. Is spacemonkey really you, Basil?
3. Is RightWingDuck (alias Ducky) really a chicken?
4. Did the keys to the vault really get taken away from Laurence Simon or is he just ticked at Frank?
5. Who the heck is Scary Evil Monkey – actually?
and finally,
6. Is it true that Socrates is actually running the Republican Underground?
I’ll answer as best I can:
1. Was Cadet Happy originally female?
Still is.
2. Is spacemonkey really you, Basil?
No, I’m really Frank J. Spacemonkey is really Harvey.
3. Is RightWingDuck (alias Ducky) really a chicken?
No, but he is a McNugget.
4. Did the keys to the vault really get taken away from Laurence Simon or is he just ticked at Frank?
Who?
5. Who the heck is Scary Evil Monkey – actually?
He is exactly who he appears to be: a character from a Stephen King novel.
6. Is it true that Socrates is actually running the Republican Underground?
There is no Republican Underground. Now, go order those Barack Obama plates. Unless you’re a racist cracker.
Basil is his own man. You can always count on some interactive conversation with Basil in the comments of his posts. Not so with the others. You have to be either unbelievably stupid or downright rude to get a rise out of Frank in the comments. (I’ve done both, heehee).
[That’s not true. I’ve never done that. And never will. – B]
By the looks of his gravatar, I’d say basil is Frank’s innner-child.
That’s because Frank is above us Ronin and can’t possibly communicate with
tens of thousands,thousands,hundreds, a couple dozen of us. And he’s gone, so even we can make fun of him.Ahah! Even Basil admits he’s never seen Basil and Frank togther. Proof positive that Basil and Frank are the same person.
I vote c) Frank and Harvey are the same person.
Bylines? I only acknowledge heterolines, none of those kinky lines for me.
Personally, I view IMAO as Frank’s blog so I often miss the bylines. I assume he’s accountable for the opinions in the posts. It’s not IOAO.
[Yes, you’re right. It’s Frank J.’s blog. But he did go from an individual to a “group blog” thing back in 2005. It would be good, though, if Frank J. was responsible for what I write. I know I’m not. – B]
Frank, you are sooooo funny!
This is your best article yet, Frank. Keep it up!
Harvey, great post.
BTW, I occasionally call you group boogers by different names for my own immature selfish amusement. I kill me.
Why would anyone want a byline on this blog?
[So, how old are you and what is your occupation? – B]
Great post! I didn’t think Laurence Simon wrote anything on here anymore.
[He’s SarahK. Pay attention. – B]
Anyone who has ever heard one of the IMAO podcasts knows that all these people are separate individuals…
Or paid actors…
Crap…
I’m no help. Sorry.
One person pretending to be two?
That could never happen!
I agree. That would just be creepy!
Well Frank, I’m not sure what you’re whining about this time since I rarely read the contents of your posts anyway. But I’m sure it’s not worth whining about really. Get back to posting pictures of lolDemocrats
Okay, here’s what I’ve always wondered – why are you named after a long-dead Byzantine Emperor?
[He was named after me. Long story. It involves a time machine and a defective prophylactic. – B]
I am so sorry. I apologize for all blog commenters everywhere for these egregious insults. Rest assured, sir, I will make every effort to avoid any repetition of these tragic events.
Sincerely,
[name withheld at own request]
I thought you were on vacation?
How do we know that Frank J and Basil are different people? I’ve never seen you both in the same room at the same time. I remember once that Bruce Wayne denied being batman but it wasn’t true was it? (BTW – that bat-computer was awesome for the 1960s)
[The Bat-Computer was so great because it didn’t run Vista. A lot of people forget that. – B]
Maybe Frank looks older and taller Online than in real life.
Harvey is a conservative, yet has a beard. You can see where that would confuse anyone.
I’ve always imagined Basil as a 16-year-old computer nerd, and Frank as a guy in his early 30s, and Harvey as a guy in his mid 20s, and SarahK as Frank’s young sister…
Basil dood you sure are a lot like Markos Moulitsas — ur ideas are as wrong as his are but you probably think you are better. Well ur not.
[But we are different. And I am better. You see, I’m an American. – B]
I have always operated under the assumption that the entire internet is populated only by one person with a variety of aliases.
Probably my roommate. He is *always* sitting in front of the computer.
hey frank,
Post something funny next time, or at least keep it short if you cant be really funny. Add something about monkeys, they are always funny.
everyone knows time travel is not possible, because it would imply space travel as well. 100 years ago, for example, the earth was rotating around the sun at a different point in the sun’s journey through the galaxy, and the galaxy was at a different spot in it’s escape from the center of the universe. Even if you could get to that spot you would have to take the rest of the galaxy with you and make sure every star was in the proper place where it was then. And even then would the rest of the galaxies in the universe play along with this silly game? i doubt it.
and you forgot ascendo tuum.
[The problem with that is that it ignores the fact that the whole universe revolves around me. And, as such, wherever I was or am or will be is always the same place. So, for me, time travel is possible. The rest of you? I pity you all. – B]
#25
500Mobstersinabucket?
That sounds like an alias for Obama and his Chicago associates.
Good post, FrankJ!
Harvey, it’s good that you sometimes post as FrankJ and sometimes as Basil. It avoids the confusion that comes with everyone posting as FrankJ. Whoever it was that got confused must be new to IMAO, or a drooling moron.
And I don’t think anyone believes FrankJ is SarahK, or that you are Basil, or that Barack Obama is going to propose a bunch of governmental solutions to market problems. He wouldn’t do that, just we can tell the front page posters here apart.
Now that that’s settled, lets see more gun-toting and cartoons about liberals.
Great Post, Frank!!
Holy crap! They’re ALL real??!! That’s not what the voices in my head have been telling me. I’ll just go play with my guns till the voices go away.
[Your voices actually go away from time to time? How do you do that? – B]
are people simply not reading the bylines?
Omg r u really that insecure? i always read the bylines on blogs. wtf u dont even have a youtube or twitter? Barack Obama is AWESOME no matta what you say! Barack Obama! Squee! Michelle Obama! Squee! Squee!
[Hey, that’s an excellent imitation of a brain-dead liberal! You rock! – B]
Frank married his sister? That’s what DC said in response 24. That explains how SarahK won the contest, too, huh?
I found this little bio of Frank J. to pass along:
Blogger Biography: Frank J. from IMAO
Read it and discover how much THAT explains!
And you know, Frank put up Harvey’s picture a long time ago as a gag, trying to fool us with an image of Michael Gross. And I’m still not over that.
This issue isn’t settled, Basil.
So now we are all straight as to who is who, Harvey is the Burger King guy, Basil is the secret spice on Duck McNuggets (ick), Laurence is really Hannibal Lecter (and Dr. Mayhems roommate), while Cadet, spacemonkey and Frank are off on their annual hobo roundup.
On a more serious note, since the first rollicking rockin’ and rollin’ first days of the group blog, Harvey really helped carry the load here so it kinda bugs me when he doesn’t get his due credit. And it pleases me to say thank you Basil for doing a great job lately to keep things lively and funny and still free for the taking to one and all for all these years. Long may the IMAO crazy train run.
on the other hand, string theory (or M theory, or superstring theory) not only expects, but demands that there must be parallel universes that can communicate with each other. also, there are something like 11 dimensions. maybe these dimensions we don’t quite fathom could allow us to slip through a parallel universe that would not only allow, but enhance the slip-slide effect to that perfect point in the space/time continuum that would in fact be time travel. but you’ll probably end up clicking your heels 3 times hoping mr. wizard incants, “drizzle drazzle drizzle drone. time for this one to come home.” be careful what you wish for, basil.
Sigmund, on the other hand, should go here:
Many-Worlds and Decoherence: There Are No Other Universes by Chad Orzell at ScienceBlogs.com
Conclusion: Group blogging at IMAO is part of a one-universe conspiracy!
[Or is that simply part of the conspiracy making you think that there is only one universe? – B]
[Or is that simply part of the conspiracy making you think that there is only one universe? – B]
Ron Paul knows.
Shucks. The other universes (universae?) always have all the fun.
I think all these theories and hullabaloo about who blogs what and whom can time travel where are all meant to draw attention away from the fundamental truth of TimeCube You can’t silence TimeCube!
Where the hell is Frank J. ??
[No idea – B]
Who’s who?
Is this some sort of scam where I pay you to print my name in a book then you expect me to buy 50 copies of said book to give to all of my family and friends to show how important I am?
If that’s the case, then sign me up!
Frank this is a fast paced world, who has time to read by-lines. Besides with all the lying, cheating, plagiarism et al going around who know WHO writes anything anymore. This could be a blog penned by Rajib in a blog sweat shop in New Deli or on Alpha Centari.
I have always thought that Frank was just suffering from Multiple Personaity Disorder and they were simply different manifestations of his condition?
Hell, I figured Sarah’s just a figment of his imagination.
“# RightWingKiller says:
November 23rd, 2008 at 9:57 pm
Hell, I figured Sarah’s just a figment of his imagination.”
Well no duh! If you’re messed up enough to invent several alter egos then there is no way you are getting anywhere with women!
This must be one of the dumbest things I have ever seen on the Internet – a blogger so frigging pathetic he/she has to inquire as to whether the readers of his/her blog actually read the byline. Get a life loser!
[You’re cute. Busy Friday? – B]
I personally thought that at least some of the bloggers were actually Frank. I didn’t think that SarahK was because that would just be creepy if Frank actually made up his wife and all the stories and all the pictures and a whole ‘nuther blog. Really creepy.
#49 – I lost my teddy bear, will you sleep with me?
#49,
What do you think of people who leave cranky messages in the wee hours on blogs they don’t have a vested interest in? Bet that kind of chaps your pink hide, dunnit? Insomnia can be a right beeyotch.
Basil,
I linked to that to show you that I care.
It’s ok, Frank if you have some lame stuff that you want to post under different names. We understand! It’s all part of the VRWC anyway! And as the new Head of The Republican Party, you can post stupid and have plausible deniability later on! It’s all good…
It’s easy to mistake Harvey for Frank J, he’s so darn funny.
It’s ok we all realize you two are the same person
[Two? Only two? Who left? – B]
That was pretty funny, Frank.
#52 – remember that while the rest of the world sleeps some of us are making sure that nthe modern world functions as you expect it to.
You people have me so confused I’m wondering if I’m FrankJ!
Funny, I don’t remember starting this blog, but I do get bills from an ISP I don’t recognize….
I thought Frank used “Basil” when he wanted to spice things up.
Thanks, ILoveMyFreedoms.
It was about thyme a pun was sewn in this thread.
Ah, not one but two sage comments…
Rosmary doesn’t like sage and thyme. She prefers parsley.
Basil, when they start calling you “FrnakJ”, you’ll know you’ve arrived.
You are all Frank J. SockPuppets III. ( the thirds ) We know it! All just fictions of Frank’s limited Sarah CoRnole Cornicles watching imagination. What’s wrong? Narcissus not being fed their echo meals?