Archive of entries posted on 4th December 2009

lolbama! Part 28

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NOTE: Sorry this is so late. Had some changes at the day job. Should have lolterizt! ready for Tuesday.

This week, That One. Next week, terrorists. Submit for either at lolterizt@gmail.com

Meanwhile, pass ’em around, spread the love, and if you make your own, don’t be shy about dropping a link to your pics in the comments. The more, the merrier.

NOTE TO READERS: Hovering your mouse over the picture activates closed captioning for the l33t-speak/txtmsg impaired.

From The Right Guy of The Right Guy:

From Marc:

From Travelwise42:

My favorites from the submissions using last edition’s uncaptioned picture:

From Nightfly of The Nightfly:

Also from Nightfly of The Nightfly:

From db of Obowma (where you are encouraged to submit photoshopped pictures of Obama bowing to you)

[reference link]

From Elwin:

Also from Elwin :

From fb:

From Gregg:

Also from Gregg:

From Mark:

From Peregrine John:

From Tom in Knoxvegas:

From Travelwise42:

This week’s uncaptioned picture for you to play with:

PRODUCTION NOTES:
#1: When creating lolbama! pictures, please caption with either black or white text, as colors like red and yellow tend to blur badly when I compress the images.

#2: Standard image size for these posts is 350px wide by whatever high. If you can have your images 350px wide before you caption them, I won’t end up shrinking your captions into illegibility when I re-size the images.

MAKE YOUR OWN: The free lolbuilder from I Can Has Cheezburger.

STYLE NOTE: Short captions are usually better. Your goal is 10 words or less, with humor value tending to increase exponentially as the number of words approaches 1.

Send your submissions to lolterizt@gmail.com and – if they aren’t obscene (IMAO is a PG-13 site) and don’t suck too terribly bad – I’ll post them for you. Remember to include your name (and blog URL, if applicable) so I know who to thank.

Frank on Science!: Gravity

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One great thing about the controversial sciences is that they distract from the fact that we don’t have any idea how gravity works.

Here’s as good a time as any to explain the difference between facts and theory as Science! understand them. The facts of gravity are well established. We have airplanes and rockets and guillotines all based on our understanding of what gravity does. It’s the theory of gravity (“gravity is only a theory!”) — how gravity works so as to make those facts — that’s kinda underdeveloped. Maybe it’s mass curving space time — though that doesn’t really explain all of it. There is also the suggestion of something called “gravitons” being involved, but that’s kinda like saying tiny invisible elves do it. Which we haven’t ruled out.

Gravity holds the entire universe in place, so it’s pretty frustrating to not really know how it’s doing it so we can make cheap knock off gravity if needed. We don’t know how we angered Science! so that it still won’t reveal to us something so fundamental as how gravity works — maybe it’s the scientific inaccuracies in the Flintstones cartoon — but we will have to work hard to appease Science! with out rationality. Until then, we just assume the facts of gravity are consistent, but if one day you’re struck on the head by a bird that was knocked unconscious by an apple falling upwards, it’s not like we can say for certain that can’t happen.

Science!

Frank Ideas to Create More Jobs

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I wasn’t invited to the jobs summit even thought I have lots of awesome ideas on everything — I guess Obama wants America to fail. Anyway, here are my ideas for how to create more jobs.

FRANK IDEAS TO CREATE MORE JOBS

* Maybe play some Barry White to see if we can get jobs to mate and produce more jobs.

* Have a job bite a hobby until it becomes infected and turns into a job itself.

* Have we tried throwing water on jobs to see if that causes them to reproduce?

* Try to forcefully stimulate job mitosis.

* Invite Jesus to a jobs summit. Tell him everyone there really needs a job and hand him the five jobs we have and then step back and let Jesus do his thing.

* Cut the top off a job and plant it in the ground.

* Tax cuts.

Man, that’s all I could come up with. Making jobs is hard. I wish I were smart like Paul Krugman. Or at least had a beard like him.

The important thing to remember in this crisis, though, is that no one take my job.

Random Thoughts

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I’m confused. Were the liberals always against a war in Afghanistan?

Hippies are for punching, not for getting foreign policy advice from.

I guess I can’t see Jesus punching a hippie. But I could see Peter doing it.

I can’t believe Obama is sending troops into harms way when he never served himself. He is some sort of hawk that is chicken.

Disingenuous support of some wars, calling others Vietnam, “chickenhawk!” – irate toddlers add more to the debate than liberals.

They say a bird in hand is worth two in the bush, but the pet store wouldn’t accept that trade.

I bet God is real pleased with Himself that He can know both the position and momentum of a particle.

Idea for a Christmas gift for wives on a budget to give to their husbands: A coupon good for one free shutting up.

I missed the jobs summit. Did Paul Krugman save the economy?

Obama got his job through nothing but speeches. Maybe his speech can get us jobs.

Whatever it is that Google Wave is supposed to do, I’m pretty sure it’s doing it stupidly.

If Palin has declared Obama’s birth certificate fair game, I want him to prove he’s not an alien lizard.

You Can’t Handle the Science!

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In my latest Pajamas Media column, I explain why your worries about Climategate are bothersome and annoying.