IMAO stands for Independent Martial Arts Organization. IMAO has always been a great supporter of kicking people in the face. Many will say that kicking people in the face is unnatural, for if God wanted us to put our feet in other people’s face, He wouldn’t have put feet all the way down at the bottom of our legs.
Poppycock!
Kicking people in the face is a perfectly natural thing to do. I’d try it out the next time you see a face you don’t like.
You might want to stretch first.
Obama gave himself a B+ for his first year in office. I could only imagine then that a C would be the complete collapse of America, a D would be the entire world getting nuked, and an F would be the destruction of the universe. Anyway, it’s nice to know Obama is really pushing himself if he considers his craptacular first year a B+.
I would grade him differently, though. Here’s how I break it down:
Being Able to Spend America’s Money in a Somewhat Rational Manner: F
Understanding Basic Principle that Spending More Money Increases Debt: F
Not Bowing to Everyone: F
Hiring People for His Administration Who Aren’t Radical Freaks That No Sane Man Would Have Any Dealings With: F
Not Getting Head Stuck in a Bucket: F
Presenting Image of a President Who Knows What He’s Doing and Isn’t Just Randomly Flailing Around: F
Having Normal Looking Ears: F
Tackling the Issues Important to Americans and Not Just His Pet Projects: F
Refraining from Using the Constitution as Toilet Paper: F
Not Giving Terrorists Big Public Platform: F
Tackling What to Do with Afghanistan Right Away and Not Spending a Lot of Time Instead Getting a Manicure or Whatever: F
Not Putting Being Popular Around the World Above Actually Accomplishing Things: F
Stopping Iran from Building Nukes… Or At Least Slowing them Down: F
Not Spending Trillions of Dollars in a Completely Pointless Way and Labeling It “Stimulus”: F
Paying Attention to the Wars and the Economy Instead of Trying to Overhaul a Large Segment of the Economy: F
Being Able to Tell a Window from a Door and Not Walking into Them: F
Not Squandering Public Approval in Record Time: F
Overall Grade: D+ (it’s graded on a curve)
So how do you rate Obama’s first year?
Remember, Republicans are anti-Science! and Democrats are the party of Science!. As G.K. Chesterton never actually said:
“When a man ceases to believe in God, he doesn’t believe in nothing. He believes in anything.”
I wonder if this knowledge can be used against Democrats, like if there is a big vote coming up Republicans can scare them away by dressing up as ghosts? Of course, Senator Byrd would probably take it the wrong way…
I got a spam from World Wildlife Fund asking me to save the Amur Leopard:
What a cutie! Let me open up my wallet!
But wait… what if they’re secretly planning to use my money to save an UGLY endangered species?:
ewwwwww… them’s for stompin’, not for savin’…
I think I’ll save my money… just to be safe.
Why are so many sci-fi films anti-human? So far we’re the only known choice, so you might as well get behind us. Also, I take anti-human as anti-American, since Americans are the dominant humans.
My favorite specie after humans would be the dog followed by the blobfish.
It would be nice if humor had some sort of peer review process so I wouldn’t have to guess at what’s funny anymore.
Should we keep looking for better politicians or just come to grips with the fact that they’re basically all sociopaths?
If we executed everyone who wants to limit world population, it would really cut down on world population.
Was I the only one hoping Avatar would be the game Ultima turned into a movie?
If we go into an ice age, I say we burn climate scientists for warmth.
BAD: Spent entire weekend at hospital because of my Dad’s illness. GOOD: Got out of seeing New Moon.
Hospitals don’t like you bringing in outside food because they make all their money from concessions. Thanks, Obamacare!
Sherlock Holmes looks like a ripoff of Dr. House.
