Obama gave himself a B+ for his first year in office. I could only imagine then that a C would be the complete collapse of America, a D would be the entire world getting nuked, and an F would be the destruction of the universe. Anyway, it’s nice to know Obama is really pushing himself if he considers his craptacular first year a B+.
I would grade him differently, though. Here’s how I break it down:
Being Able to Spend America’s Money in a Somewhat Rational Manner: F
Understanding Basic Principle that Spending More Money Increases Debt: F
Not Bowing to Everyone: F
Hiring People for His Administration Who Aren’t Radical Freaks That No Sane Man Would Have Any Dealings With: F
Not Getting Head Stuck in a Bucket: F
Presenting Image of a President Who Knows What He’s Doing and Isn’t Just Randomly Flailing Around: F
Having Normal Looking Ears: F
Tackling the Issues Important to Americans and Not Just His Pet Projects: F
Refraining from Using the Constitution as Toilet Paper: F
Not Giving Terrorists Big Public Platform: F
Tackling What to Do with Afghanistan Right Away and Not Spending a Lot of Time Instead Getting a Manicure or Whatever: F
Not Putting Being Popular Around the World Above Actually Accomplishing Things: F
Stopping Iran from Building Nukes… Or At Least Slowing them Down: F
Not Spending Trillions of Dollars in a Completely Pointless Way and Labeling It “Stimulus”: F
Paying Attention to the Wars and the Economy Instead of Trying to Overhaul a Large Segment of the Economy: F
Being Able to Tell a Window from a Door and Not Walking into Them: F
Not Squandering Public Approval in Record Time: F
Overall Grade: D+ (it’s graded on a curve)
So how do you rate Obama’s first year?
Is there a grade worse than an F???
Selecting a dog: EFF
Boarding the helicopter: EFF
Keeping Michelle’s mom from dressing her funny: EFF
Gawking at hot little Brazilian chicas: A
On a scale of A (great) to F (really bad) I would give him a 13.
Not being a commie pig whore? F
Having a wife the nation can be proud of: F
Having your own thoughts doing speeches: F
Not giving into silly terrorists like pelousy’s and reid’s demands: F
Overall F. and that one is a capital.
I hope you grade him in purple pen next time, for his self-esteem. And black is racist.
O=Outstanding, E=Exceeds Expectations, A=Acceptable, P=Poor, D=Dreadful, T=Troll
Obama gets a T.
He should do lines. “I must not tell lies.”
America! How’s my “deferred success” taste?
A+ = 100
A = 95
A- = 60
B+ = 23
F = 0
Oprah never asked.
His White House transcript has not been released, so these are estimated grades only:
Breaking campaign promises: A
Dating his wife at taxpayer expense: A
Holding White House parties: A
Using the word “I”: A
Inducing panic in cities with jets: A
Overcoming stuttering with teleprompters: A
Apologizing for America while maintaining his dignity: A
Overall grade: *** Warning *** Steep Grade Ahead. Downhill for 3 years.
overall grade: Z minus
I give him an A+.
He’s trying really hard, guys!
* Calling the whole Honduras thing correctly — F
* Good timing for the “I’m just as cool as him” magazine cover with Tiger — F
* Taking giant steps towards irrevocably establishing socialist programs — A+
P.S., Dr. Mayhem — yes. He is indeed very trying.
I think you’re looking at it all wrong, Frank. The grade of B+ means that Obama likes what he’s done. Let that sink in for a while. He thinks he’s carried on well enough with his assignments and turned everything in on time, even if he didn’t understand everything because of never having had a job before where people expect him to do anything.
So if this is a B+, what would an A look like?
Dean Vernon Wormer: Mr. Frank, Zero point two…Fat, homo and stupid is no way to go through life, son. Mr. Reid, president of Delta house? One point six; four C’s and an F. A fine example you set! Joseph Robbinett Biden….HAS no grade point average. All courses incomplete. Mr. Obama…..ZERO POINT ZERO!
Dear Mr. Obama,
The Office of Admissions and Records regrets to inform you that, due to your poor performance over the last two semesters, you have been placed on academic probation.
We have made a commitment to retain you in this school through the year 2012 and we will fulfill that obligation. By the same token, we expect you to take your endeavors here seriously and to perform at an acceptable level of achievement.
Your performance will be closely monitored and your status will be reevaluated in November, 2010.
Sincerely,
D. Catt
Office of Admissions and Records
He hasn’t fumbled the ball in Iraq (yet) even though he campaigned on a promise to do so. For that reason only, I’ll grudgingly give him a D-.
I learned this from public schools….pass the idiots so now the idiots are the next teacher’s problem.
There is no grade low enough to reflect his utter failure to defend and protect the Republic and none high enough to reflect his success in undermining it.
“I could only imagine then that a C would be the complete collapse of America, a D would be the entire world getting nuked, and an F would be the destruction of the universe.”
You forget Obama’s objectives, Frank. If he’d succeeded in the complete collapse of America, he would’ve given himself an A. Collapse of the universe for an A+.
There is no grade high enough to reflect his success in weakening this country.
Also, sending me my free unicorn: F
So, you attempt to destroy your own country, ending the United States as we’ve known it forever, and you still rate a B+? That’s the most creative example of grading on a curve I’ve ever seen.
Taking a punch (Fox News, Beck, Limbaugh Rep. Joe Wilson)—F
Learning from past mistakes—F
Doing his history homework—F
Knowing correct # of States —F
Not embarrassing fellow countrymen—F
Keeping Christ in Christmas—F
Knowing how a President salutes during anthem—F
Being able to locate his birth certificate—F
Having his finger on the pulse of the country—F
expecting to be re-elected—F
Honoring our veterans: F
B+ for reading the teleprompter – He can improve but he’s doing well – as long as it doesn’t crash
I agree with zzyzx, O-bah-muhh is graded on the Blutarsky Curve. He’s not known as President Zero Point Zero for nothing.
Good, accurate marks there except I think Michelle dresses just fine.
Anyway, I’ll probably get in trouble for this, but his speech for the Nobel Prize committee gets at least a B. He made a couple of points that shocked me:
1) Sometimes it’s necessary to go to war to defend liberty, protect ourselves, and in our national interest.
and,
2) When it’s time to use the military, we’ve proven ourselves time and again that we’re far better at it than anyone else, so don’t blame us for every problem in the world or we’ll kill you!
Yep, I watched the whole thing live and that’s pretty much what he said aside from the obligatory Gitmo reference. (BTW, if he really wanted it closed that badly, I think a year would have been enough time.) It was worth the price of admission just to see the faces of those Euro-weenies.
Hey, just giving credit where credit’s due. His fiscal policies still scare the crap outta me!
You got it backwards…if Obama had been able to REALLY use the Constitution for toilet paper, create socialized medicine, pass Crap and Trade Energy legislation, send Republicans, libertarians and all conservatives to reeducation camps, confiscate all the newspapers and any opposition radio/TV stations beginning with Fox and those that run Rush and Hannity and Levine and Beck, silence opposition on the internet, and set up SEIU as his Obama Youth Corp brownshirts OFFICIALLY, then he would have given himself an A-.
Brian the sailor,he said it, true, but he didn’t mean a word of it…it was all for domestic consumption…and he enjoys snubbing people, even if they’re giving him awards he inwardly knows he’s not worthy of….of which he’s not worthy…whatever.
Hey Barry, how about you show us your grades from Harvard so we can see if you’ve improved?
Bush got an F for blaming everything on Clinton so I guess Obama is better than him at something.
But on living up to all the things that sane people said he was he gets an A++ for sure.
gez, I mistype my email address and I get turned into a cyclopes like thing >:[
Killing off mythical campaign Obama in months… A+
Sobering America up enough to stop flirting with socialism A+
GOP back on the road to electoral wins A+
Winning white house before experienced enough to succeed A+
Seems to me hes doing alright from our side. Now if we are all still alive next election we will owe him that win.
Doug in Colorado, yeah, it’s wishful thinking on my part, but I’ve gotta try to be supportive of my C in C if I can. I can only hope that he’s growing and learning that doing the right thing doesn’t always conform to his utopian vision of the world.
It never hurts to hope for the best and try to give the benefit of the doubt…at least until it hurts. That sentence made no sense, but I’ll let it stand.
Can we use imaginary numbers, or kanji, or something?
Brian the Sailor said, ” I’ve gotta try to be supportive of my C in C if I can.”
Are they allowing the smoking of dope in the Navy now? I mean, C’mon. Obama?
Being the most powerful man in the word and not knowing where you left your birth certificate or being able to order someone to find it: – – F- (read ‘double minus F minus’).
I almost choked when I saw he had given himself a “solid B+”. Yet another example of the liberal adage, if you say something as if it’s a fact and have the media support you, you can convince people it’s a fact. Good luck on this one President Obama.
Maybe he and Robert Gibbs are still in denial regarding his plummeting poll numbers, or maybe Barack Obama is used to being graded on a curve, because there is no way he gets a B+ any other way.
I would truly like to grade Obama’s first year, but thus far have been unsuccessful in locating a large enough bulldozer.
Response here.
Shag this ‘curve’ nonsense.
Double Secret Probation!
I’m a 39 year old, white, male, police officer in a major city. I’ll treat anyone with respect and dignity unless you’re a low life in the act of violating the safety and security of the innocent and law abiding. In which case, I’ll have my foot up your ass and maybe a bullet in your fucking head if you don’t cease your cro-magnon behavior by the time I get to you. As well, I don’t give a shit if you’re black, white, or what ever, I do not practice racism…. I practice JackAssism… I have a problem, a real problem, with people who act like Jack Asses, no matter what color they are. And if they happen to be black and say my attitude is racist, I realize why that person will never get ahead in life. The white man I arrest is just as guilty when he thinks I was born with privileges and ‘just don’t know what it’s like to grow up poor’. Think again… white trash here. But I moved out, got a degree, and a damn good career.
All that being true, I am an athiest, liberal, pro-choice, pro gay rights, I voted for Obama, and will vote for him again. I don’t hate right wing nuts, I just am disgusted humans haven’t evolved beyond what right wing nuts are. The realization that there really are people in this world that are that stupid, that WILLFULLY stupid, is staggering.
I don’t rationalize physical violence in response to different political views, but I will use whatever it takes up to physical violence to put someone in their place who DOES use physical violence in response to someone’s opposing political views. One common thread I have seen within right wing rhetoric is justification of physical violence in response to an opposing political view. That’s the opposite of evolving. I fucking arrest dipshits who think that way every day. It boggles my mind when some people want to align themselves with the behaviors, immaturity, and less than stellar ‘thinking’ process of those who I gotta stop from robbing, stealing, and assaulting the law abiders.
And a lot of sheople on this site need to learn how to practice some intellectual honesty. Or… just keep living that Fox News Fantasy you keep letting fill your heads with some of the most absurd, ridiculous, and jejune B.S. and keep repeating it to one another, and keep thinking that just *saying* the other view is bad, that it is. Don’t worry your walnut brains over actually critically thinking about something before you spout off about it. You should be embarrassed, that is, if you had any idea how the world works around you and caught yourself saying some of the stuff you do. Yeah, there’s right wing cops too, but because of their more schooled world view, and the shit they see every day, even they don’t say some of the stupid things I’ve seen here. And don’t give me that military experience BS either. That didn’t give any of us a hundredth of the reality that patrolling the city streets gives us. In fact, many of us admit it sheltered us from most of reality.
[People who cut and paste long rants into blog posts are dumbasses. Also, people who vow to reelect someone after he’s been in office only a year and has spent that year floundering by any objective measure are dumbasses. I fear violence from dumbasses. -Ed.]
The scariest thing about his view of a B+ is that apparently for him things are nicely going according to plan.
You have to look at the criteria upon which he’s basing the grade:
1. Power is not only what you have but what the enemy thinks you have.
2. Never go outside the experience of your people.
3. Whenever possible go outside the experience of the enemy.
4. Make the enemy live up to their own book of rules.
5. Ridicule is mans most potent weapon.
6. A good tactic is one that your people enjoy.
7. A tactic that drags on too long becomes a drag.
8. Keep the pressure on with different tactics and actions, and utilize all events of the period for your purpose.
9. The threat is usually more terrifying than the thing itself.
10. The major premise of tactics is the development of operations that will maintain a constant pressure upon the opposition.
11. If you push a negative hard and deep enough, it will break through into its counterside.
12. The price of a successful attack is a constructive alternative.
13. Pick the target, freeze it, personalize it and polarize it.
Obama’s ability to give good hostess gifts: F-
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