They say don’t bring a knife to a gun fight, but I do. Then everyone is like, “Look at the stupid dummy who brought a knife when we all have guns! What a lame-o!” Then POW! …I shoot them all with the gun hidden in the knife’s handle. NOW WHO’S STUPID?!!!
Archive of entries posted on 16th December 2009
How Much Do Democrats Suck?
It is certainly hard to quantify how much Democrats suck. This is the absolute height of Democrat power: A liberal president who was very popular, large majority in the House, filibuster-proof majority in the Senate. That’s as good as it gets. It only goes down from there. And what have they achieved with such power? Can’t pass a health care bill. Can’t pass their cap & trade bill to fight that global warming that is going to kill us all. Expanded the war in Afghanistan.
This hurts Republicans. Usually one of the arguments made by Republicans is that if Democrats get elected they will pass all this awful legislation, but apparently when the Democrats have full power in D.C. they’ll just flop around and fail to pass things for a couple years. It’s actually kind of entertaining to watch.
Anyway, the issue is getting a grasp of just how much Democrats suck so we can at least try and explain them to future generations. Well, one thing illustrative of that is out of the 58 Democrats in the Senate, Harry Reid was apparently the best of them and thus made leader. Even worse, out of the 258 Democrats in the House, they apparently have none smarter or more personable than Nancy Pelosi. Can you even comprehend that? If Helen Keller were also a quadriplegic, you’re still not quite to the sorry state the Democrats are in. They are such fools that Mr. T has gone from just pitying them to doing a full charity collection for them.
This should caution us, though. Scientists say that too much schadenfreude actually has deleterious effects on the body. So when you see the nutroots and realize this is probably the highpoint of liberals in their lifetime and they’re shrieking and shaking their monkey cages just as much as ever, be careful not to OD.
Reading!
Mistaken Identity
You may have heard that another uninvited couple crashed a White House event and ended up shaking hands with the president.
You also may have noticed that the name of the man involved was Harvey Darden, and just assumed it was me.
Nuh-uh.
Wrong Harvey.
Totally not me.
Had it been me, the story would’ve been all about me punching Obama in the stomach as hard as I could and then claiming that I got him confused with Harry Houdini.
You gotta admit, there IS a striking similarity, so it’s totally plausible:

Random Thoughts
If my body wants coffee and doesn’t get it, it inflicts excruciating pain on my head. It’s like a terrorist. A terrorist that wants coffee. I probably shouldn’t give in to a terrorist, but I believe its cause is just.
So we’re going to save the economy by caulking our windows? I get the impression Obama doesn’t take the presidency very seriously.
Maybe the presidency was Obama’s backup plan if his alternative rock band didn’t take off.
Obama: “Insulation is sexy! And Drano is tasty!”
Obama solution to economy: Weatherization. Obama solution to terrorism: Low-fat diet.
You ever get worried when you think about how many foreigners there are in the world?
Cats do nothing useful but expect care and affection; they’re like your own personal hippie.
So how big a majority do Democrats need to actually pass their legislation?
I remember Republicans passing stuff with less than 60 Republicans in the Senate; maybe the Democrats should ask them how they did that.
I’ll only be concerned about Facebook changing its privacy policy if it means others can see my letters in Scrabble.
They’re sending terrorists to Illinois? Is it to replace the Chicago politicians? Not my first choice, but probably an improvement.
I’m confused. All the liberals are against the Senate bill now, so should I be for it?

