Frank Advice for Life

They say don’t bring a knife to a gun fight, but I do. Then everyone is like, “Look at the stupid dummy who brought a knife when we all have guns! What a lame-o!” Then POW! …I shoot them all with the gun hidden in the knife’s handle. NOW WHO’S STUPID?!!!

36 Comments

  1. TerribleTroy has it right. Bring a knife AND a gun. Then you’re always properly dressed for the fight. And what happens if you drop a knife or a gun? Wouldn’t it be a good idea to have a spare? Hmmmmm?

  2. And once again, you’ve blared my plan to the world.

    It wasn’t easy coming up with a Plan “B” when you told everybody about my exploding trunk, but I did.

    It came to me when I saw the pistol bayonet. I thought, “Heh, I can bring a gun and a knive to a gun fight”)

    So next time, when you think of a trick plan (like oh, a knife-gun or a buried, exploding trunk) keep it to yourself.

  3. Never bring a spoon to a knife fight.
    In the 17th century no gentleman went out without a ornate but functional sword or dagger at his side. What sort of modern weaponry would be most appropriate to wear with modern formal wear? Pistol in a shoulder holster, spring-loaded sleeve gun, or elegantly engraved auto-12 in a sling? You never know when you might get invited to a Whitehouse party or something.

  4. Never bring a spoon to a knife fight.
    In the 17th century no gentleman went out without a ornate but functional sword or dagger at his side. What sort of modern weaponry would be most appropriate to wear with modern formal wear? Pistol in a shoulder holster, spring-loaded sleeve gun, or elegantly engraved auto-12 in a sling? You never know when you might get invited to a Whitehouse party or something.

    (oops! I typed in my e-mail address wrong!)

  5. I always have Yoko Ono slither her way in front of me to draw enemy fire or knife thrusts. Yoko Ono, wearing a McCain ’08 T-shirt. And posting to her twitter thingie. In bad parts of town and passing through Boise she has to get naked and sing Give Peace A Chance to make me feel really safe.

  6. My 4 year old grandson said always have a gun in case somebody tries to steal your chickens. I would bring Oh Bummer becuz his inanities would put all the gun slingers to sleep and then you can cut their throats with your Swiss army knife.

  7. I’d rather bring a tank to a knife fight. Not only will the steel hull blunt every knife known to exist, I just love the squishing sound you get when you run the knife wielding “assailant” over with the tank thread. Yeah, the screaming in pain part when you drive the tank over his legs is peachy keen too.

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