Evolution has been a problem with layman. First you have those with religious objections to it who declare it false but don’t really understand. Then you have those accepting of Science! and declare it true… and don’t really understand. I mean we keep explaining natural selection and mutations, but everyone keeps getting it in their head that evolution works the way Lamarck described it. Frankly, evolution is so complicated I don’t even know why we even bothered telling it to laymen. Darwin should have just kept it to himself and the immediate scientific community to keep everyone from getting their stupid all over it. I wish we’d do that with more Science!. The average man doesn’t need to know the earth goes around the sun; we should just keep stuff like that to ourselves.

But I digress. Anyway, instead of trying to explain evolution to you just so you cannot understand it, I’m going to explain just the most fundamental part of evolution: Why it proves that God didn’t create life.

As I said, evolution is very complicated. DNA, changing habitats, billions of years — a lot to comprehend. By analyzing the Bible, though, we can get a basic idea of God’s intelligence level, and the only conclusion Science! can make is that evolution is far too complicated for God to have done. God has demonstrated pretty much no advanced scientific knowledge, so it’s just unfathomable He would have had anything to do with evolution. If man were made from sculpting clay, then it’s believable God made us, but we just don’t see how He could have kept up with all the genetic changes to make man from a paramecium. And it doesn’t stop there. To even get to the conditions of having an earth on which life would form, God would have to have started His plan at the Big Bang fourteen billion years ago knowing exactly how an incalculable number of particles would form to eventually lead to now. That would take omniscience and some sort of infinite intelligence, something so ridiculous that you’ll have to excuse me while I laugh at the very notion.

Ha ho hee har ho ha hee!

By the way, based upon the intelligence level of Allah gather by analyzing the Koran, it would only be believable he made life if we were all made out of Legos.

Science!

UPDATE:

Oh, I see everyone has their own clever little saying they think disproves evolution. Poor foolish scientists spending time analyzing DNA and fossils when they could have just saved all that time and came up with a clever little saying.

“Scientists say that according to gravity everything is attracted to everything else. That means they’re trying to say I’m attracted to men! Gravity isn’t real Science! and just something moron scientists made up to prove everyone is homosexual!”

Thank you, laymen; please explain to us scientists what Science! is. We’re reeeeealy interested.

Science!