Here’s my new idea for getting rid of hippies. Let’s put out this announcement:
Due to increased global warming, polar bears are increasingly scared and sad. The only solution is to give them hugs. Thus, as citizens of the earth, we need to go out and hug polar bears now. So just go up to them and start hugging. They may bear their teeth, swing their paws, and roar, but that’s just polar bear for “I’m scared and need a hug!” If you are too intimidated to hug an adult polar bear, at least hug a baby polar bear then. Just make sure the mother polar bear is watching because it likes to chaperone that sort of thing. Soon the mother should be charging at you and roaring its thanks.
The government really should put out stuff like this every so often to control the hippie population; I don’t know why it doesn’t.