Nancy Pelosi has promised Democrats there won’t be any tough votes next year after they all agree to destroy our nation’s health care. So Pelosi has scheduled for 2010 a bunch of votes that should be so unanimous that only Ron Paul would vote against them. Here’s ten of them:
TOP TEN EASY HOUSE VOTES FOR NEXT YEAR
10. A vote to not to go to war with Finland.
9. A condemnation of making vampires sparkle.
8. A vote on what is the opposite of “No”.
7. Acknowledgment of Barney Frank’s many years in the House talking funny.
6. A vote praising nachos for its many years of service as a snack.
5. A bill making the inventor of clamshell packaging an enemy of the state.
4. A vote on what one likes to receive on Christmas (idea is to see if they can get the very first vote where the entire House votes “Present”).
3. Acknowledgment of the fluffiness of kitties and puppies.
2. A vote to rate the House’s effectiveness a B+.
And the number one easy house vote for next year is…
A resolution that voting is fun!
A vote making Rand Paul’s birthday a national holiday.
A vote banning buckets within 100 yards of Obama.
A vote making Frank”s birthday a national holiday.
*a vote that Nancy Pelosi be deemed criminally insane
*a vote that Harry Reid be confined to an old folks home
“10. A vote to not to go to war with Finland.”
Rand Paul is calling for an all-out military assault on Finland, calling it the “right war”.
9. A condemnation of making vampires sparkle. – I have a suspicion that this would not be an easy vote… how many members of congress must love those sparkly vampires?
11. An acknowledgement. “Hey, that Captain Queeg guy is sorta crazy, isn’t he?”
Not attacking Finland? I don’t know if that’s an easy one…
The vampire sparkle thing might be a tough sell since most of them are vampires and may not want the ease of identification which sparkles would surely bring.
A vote to make Wednesdays cuccumber eating day (except for those morally opposed to the consumption of cuccumbers).
A vote to make all sessions “funny hat” days.
A vote that the first 10 elected officials who show up for any session receive a complimentary nacho hat.
A vote to ensure Berkely college continues to enroll a majority of stinky hippies.
A resolution that we attack Finland with sparkly vampires!
Finnish vampires *are* sparkly…it’s called frost.
What about Cheetos ! damn buncha racists donkeys
Finnish Girls in saunas …Duh. (make love AND war)
8. A vote on what is the opposite of “No”.
Politicians will NEVER agree on this.
I know capitan Queeg. Cap’n Queeg is friend of mine. And you sir are no…alright belay the last
voting is not fun! Finnish girls in saunas… now thats fun !
I think we definitely need to attack Finland right away. Isn’t that were vikings are from? If you are against a war on Finland, then you are pro-viking.
Be it resolved: Once a presidential candidate begins eating a waffle, he/she should not be subject to questioning.
To have all doors and windows on the outside of the white house clearly labeled.
That our right to be armed with a caulking gun shall not be abridged.
Surely they’ll have no problem voting themselves another pay raise.
I’ve heard that Liberals hate nachos. The (presumed) milk in the cheese makes them cry for exploited cows and the jalepenos just make them cry. Plus they give Harry Reid diarrhea.
Was the clamshell packaging guy a conservative, pro-life, pro-gun veteran on the DHS list too?
Frank, I never knew there was a specific name for it, but the moment I read “clamshell packaging” I immediately knew what you were talking about. It’s ironic that they package knives & heavy duty scissors in them…you know, the exact item you need on the outside of the package in order to get to the inside. “IF I HAD A KNIFE I WOULDN’T HAVE BOUGHT THIS ONE!!!111!!!”
Blame Bush for Obama’s mistakes.
I am glad that “clamshell packing” thing got cleared up. I thought it was another Barney Frank
question.
No war with Finland? But how else will we single guys get hot European chicks with sexy accents???
Barney Frank “talking funny”… That’s what it’s called now?
A vote on a mass suicide pact.
@crusty oh you mean Amnesty? Cultural suicide for sure. Physical death likely.