Baby Names Update

A lot of good baby names suggestions in the baby name thread. Here’s what I’m thinking: I’ll eventually pick my favorite, and then we’ll have a vote. The winning name will be the IMAO baby’s official blog name to hence be referred to on the blog.

So keep submitting baby name ideas (you can do that in this thread now). Frankly, though, I’ve really started to warm up to the idea of having a daughter named Cheney.

“Now, Cheney, I’m going to teach you how to use a BB gun– Argh! My face!”

“Little Cheney, what did you just tell me to do to myself?!”

“Cheney, I told you your doll won’t speak because it’s broken. Waterboarding won’t force it to talk.”

“Cheney, we have to shop around. You can’t sole-source contract your doll house to Halliburton.”

60 Comments

  1. Cheney sounds like a cool name for a girl. But Sarah Palin would be just as good, especially since she’s an NRA member.

    “Sarah, would you please bring that shot gun over here? No, not that one, the 12 gauge pump action. See, you load some rock salt into the shells like this, load them and take careful aim at the hippie, then you…”

    If it’s a boy, only Fred Thompson would be right.

  2. “Cheney, go easy on your classmates. Your fellow Kindergarteners just can’t read yet.”

    “I know you want to be President, honey, and you will be. But you gotta turn 35 after you turn 18 first.”

    “You’ve done what? Created your own private Gitmo for neighborhood cats? Good girl.”

  3. “Cheney, we have to shop around. You can’t sole-source contract your doll house to Halliburton.”

    Why not?

    I like Haliburton if its a boy, or Odin or Zeus, all strong manly names. You will want to avoid girly names like barry, rom, or harry.

    If its a girl, I like Shopping. So you can be all like: Lets go, Shopping or Where you been?Shopping?

    Girls are like cats, it doesn’t matter what you name them, they are never going to obey anyway.

  4. Smith Wesson Fleming
    Heckler Koch Fleming
    Colt Remington Fleming
    Assault Weapon Fleming

    Although that last one might be a bit of a problem if Obama manages to “deem” assault weapons banned. Because you’d be all like, “Why did you skip school today, Assault Weaon?” And he/she would be all like, “I can’t go to school, Daddy. I’ve been banned.”

  5. Cheney is cool but what if someone slips and calls him Che for short? On the plus side you might get rich selling Little Che tee-shirts.

    CurlyMoe or Shemp? Or you could name “him” after your favorite dog of all time, Santa’s Little Helper.

    JZilla.

  6. Personally I’d suggest a Spanish first name so he/she will fit in better with his/her peers twenty or thirty years from now. As an alternative I’d suggest a Chinese first name so he/she will fit in well with the people who will be in charge of the nation by then.

  7. Yah. I was thinking Chairman (like Chairman Mao) or if you are superstitious, Jesus. That always goes over with the south of the border types and would probably inflame the asians.

  8. “I’ll eventually pick my favorite, and then we’ll have a vote. The winning name will be the IMAO baby’s official blog name to hence be referred to on the blog.”

    Okay, as long as that’s the kids ‘blog’ name. I really don’t think you should trust the general public to come up with your kids’ real name.

  9. You’re acting like you didn’t get a thousand excellent suggestions the other day. What, Phlegm Fleming isn’t good enough for you?

    Chuck Norris Fleming
    007 Fleming
    Banjo Fleming

    Or what about something prayerful, like No Episiotomy Fleming?
    No Cone Head Fleming?
    Natural Childbirth Is For Suckers Fleming?
    Please Let This Child Be Born Before Single Payer Kicks In Fleming? Well, that one’s a bit long for a baby…

    Seriously, I think El Guapo is the best one.

    You know, you can only type Fleming so many times before it loses all meaning.

  10. “Cheney, sweetie, you can’t make your doll, Georgie, be a conservative when he doesn’t want to be.”

    “Here, Cheney, I got you some new dolls. This one’s “Bolton.” This one’s “Rove.” And look at this one! “Sarah.””

    “Cheney, I know Meghan McCain is chubby. It’s because her Daddy is a RINO. They’re just big like that.”

    “Cheney! How many times do I have to tell you the cats aren’t terrorists!

    “Cheney, I agree the Teletubbies are horrible, but that’s no reason to kill the television, honey.”

  11. Max Fightmaster Fleming
    James T. Fleming
    Honor Fleming

    Maybe do as the Romans did and assign your kid a number.
    “What a cute baby! What’s its name? ”
    “Ohh that’s just little One Fleming.”

  12. girl: Ja’el (Judges 4:21) a tough chick. (handy with tools.)
    boy: Caleb (Joshua 14:11) wholly followed the LORD. (strong to the finish, held a grudge against the Anakim for 45 years, finally pwned them.)

  13. HEAR, HEAR! for naming your girl Cheney! It’s a name with a long, honorable, and INTERESTING history.

    Although Cheney was originally my surname, when both parents died — hence could no longer be offended 😉 — I pretty much dropped my given name (which I loathed 24/7/365 for almost 50 years). Legally I still have that given name, but in daily use it’s only a first initial; in business and publishing I’m now known as Cheney plus my married surname; to my friends I’m still Spike or Spikeygrrl, the silly but oddly apt nickname/”street name” I acquired at one of my first corporate jobs. All of which works out just fine because I was never given a “middle name” in the first place.

    My only son, now adult with kids of his own, has an uncommon but very historic name as well. One big advantage if your child has an outsize personality to go along with an unusual name, he or she could well become known as a one-namer (like Madonna or Cher). What a great way to ensure that from a very early age you and your personality and your accomplishments become “mnemonic Velcro.”

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