I read this article and was like, “Wow, suicide sure is popular in Japan.” Apparently, the popular kids are jumping off cliffs and everyone else is following along. And it’s certainly not a good commentary on your country when people really enjoy suicide. Of course, if you hear of what working in Japan is like and all the overtime they do, it’s not much of a mystery.
Still, it sounds like Japan should do some sort of anti-suicide campaign; I mean they already have a negative population growth. I’m not sure how you’d do an anti-suicide campaign, though, because the usual way you warn people about things like drugs, drunk driving, obesity is to threaten death. You can’t do that with suicide.
“Suicide Kills!” — that’s kind of a tautology. I mean, how do you scare people out of suicide? Now, if I know Japanese culture — and I’ve convinced myself I do — there are a few things they are scared of: Godzilla, giant mecha, ninjas, atomic bombs, dolphin, dishonor, and rogue samurai.
Oh, I know: America can help out. We can threaten to drop another atomic bomb on Japan if they have a certain number of suicides during the year. The Japanese hate — hate — atomic bombs. So maybe someone might think suicide is fun and dandy for himself, but does he really want to be responsible for America dropping another atomic bomb? That will make everyone think twice, and they can go back to a long life of excessive overtime and ultra-violent, porn-filled cartoons.
So the answer to the age-old question, the epitome of motherly rhetoric and reductio ad absurdum, “If everyone else walked off a cliff, would you do it too?”
…is, apparently, Yes.
At least in Japan.
I don’t know about suicide in Japan, Frank, but I just read this article:
Florida Vampire to Run For President (CBS News)
But what the MSM thinks is important these days is enough to make me think about it.
On the other hand, Vlad the Impaler could be a useful solution for the non-human, primate majority that is running our country into the grave anyway.
Why, look, another screwy foreign country.
If they want our help, first we’ll tell them to get lost. Then they’ll ask again, and we’ll send in the Marines.
It’s routine.
I was thinking that the Jews should start buying up land in Japan. It may take 50 to 100 years, but pretty soon the Japanese will have all died out, and Japan would make a nice new homeland for them, much more easily defensible than Israel.
It seems like Japan has become a hybrid of the worst Western and Eastern cultures.
my Dad was stationed in Japan during the Korean war and he said that suicide was very popular back then, too. there was a particular cliff that was favored by unlucky lovers to jump off of. the Japanese government put up a billboard next to the cliff imploring the would-be jumpers to think twice and not jump. no stats to know if it was successful.
We can tell them if they die they get 72 virgins, like Nancy Pelosi.
The Japanese hate the atomic bomb like bad guys hate dirty Harry’s .44 magnum.
Wow, you think we can get Obama to jump off a cliff and have all his Commiecrat followers (including those smelley @#$%&! hippies) follow him? Instant national renewal, baby! Not to mention a dramatic drop in the overall stink of the Nation.
article says Japan is responsible for 40% of the worlds blogs – wow – so they work about 80 hours a week and then post all about their horrible week on the blog and nobody reads it cause everyone’s working or posting and then they jump off cliffs.
makes sense
I hate to throw a wrench in your works Frank. But what will Japan do to the person who pushed the suicide number to the limit? They can’t kill the person. Most people will probably forget that person anyway. Knowing Japan, they might be able to bring them back to life, but that might be a ways away. I guess they could build a crappy car like the Edsel and name it after the cad the made America drop the bomb.
Proud Infidel is onto an excellent idea. Obama and the liberals all think Western civilization sucks and they’re much smarter than us dumb pukes. We need to infiltrate them and spread the idea that Japanese culture is what all the really cool people are into these days, and if you’re really super-elite, you’re jumping off of cliffs and stuff. I predict a drop in unemployment because there will be a lot of shovel-ready jobs at the bottom of the cliffs; then there will be a lot more elbow room for all us dumb pukes.
Jumping off of cliffs? What has happened to the world. Japanese suicide used to be an art form involving writing a poem, keeping composed while disemboweling oneself, and making sure to choose a very good swordsman to strike the final blow in a way that kept one’s head attached to the body without hacking the hell out of one’s shoulders or head. Now the current generation just jumps off of cliffs?! Is there nothing that modernism cannot screw up?
Maybe there’s a big pillow shortage and they’re all lonely being single.
The
communistsliberals still believe inGod…Al Gore…Global Warming, that’s still the best way to get them to commit mass suicide. Now that they got their “health care”, there will be a shortage of things to feel guilty over. A 3000% increase in “Global Warming is REAL, STOP BREATHING NOW!” bumper stickers and bill boards might do the trick. It’s worth a try.OR: convince them they’re putting a huge burden on the health care system that needs to focus on important people like illiterate Mexicans and people injured in the Hawaiian earthquake and by being alive, they’re a big part of the problem and probably racist.
Or say:
The only people who kill themselves are people who are already dead.
or
Only a gutless piece of sh*t ends his life to avoid the occasional burdens that accompany the gift of being alive.
RContraPerp, I’m not sure whether you were joking; remember to read up on the fighting on Saipan.
http://www.cracked.com/article/181_the-6-creepiest-places-earth/
#6 describes a favorite suicide spot near Mt. Fuji (caution: coarse language).
I thought they were kidding.
Sounds like Japan is becoming the ‘Richard Corey’ of the 21st century.
some years ago, I remember watching a Japanese horror flick called the suicide club. Kids in Japan just deciding to kill them selves. I think this has been going on for a while. If I remember, the movie seemed to be a commentary on the devaluation of life and its effects… like splat.
This is not really surprising. What is surprising is that there’s not already a Japanese TV show called “Jump or No Jump”.