Random Thoughts

I still don’t get how I could have put a movie in the mail yesterday morning and Netflix has already gotten it. I guess that’s the speed of U.S. mail when infused with capitalism.

When SarahK saw the baby’s heartbeat, she cried. I even almost had an emotion.

This is really going to change SarahK’s life. I wish her good luck with that.

While we were watching, the baby jumped and waved his arm around. I think he’s going to be an ultimate fighter!

I already love the baby more than either of our two stupid cats. The dog is still good.

Whatever the baby’s sex is, he/she better like playing FPSs with me. And mowing the lawn.

In preparation for the baby, I should make my own children’s book: Goodbye Moon.

I grew up dreaming to be the first person on Mars, and now my child can too since our space program has been a complete turd.

29 Comments

  1. Won’t the dog be upset if the baby helps you move the lawn? It would presumably have to go farther to potty.

    “This is really going to change SarahK’s life. I wish her good luck with that.”

    I would suggest you help. Even with the postpartum hormone cocktail, I would bet she will be both a faster draw and better shot than you are.

  2. When SarahK saw the baby’s heartbeat, she cried. I even almost had an emotion.

    Don’t lie, Frank, we all know you got in trouble with the medical people after your celebratory gunfire.

    This is really going to change SarahK’s life. I wish her good luck with that.

    Even more so yours, Frank! I know you’re going to try to get him or her to blog here while you sleep, but babies make more typing errors than even yourself!

    I already love the baby more than either of our two stupid cats. The dog is still good.

    I’m going to state my account once again. When my mother brought me home from the hospital, her cat was struck by fierce jealousy. He did his business in the laundry. My father threw him down a reasonably short stairwell. Meowing bitterly, the cat left, never to return. Is your house one story? I’m just here to ask.

  3. Wait… you’re having a baby!? Or were you, like, hanging out at someone else’s ultrasound or something?

    I’m going to go ahead and assume you were hanging out at your own ultrasound. Or at least, Sarah’s.

    How did I miss this? That’s pretty darn awesome. Congrats you two!

  4. I would buy “Goodbye Moon” — especially if it was illustrated by Frank the Artist. “Tiny stick figure means baby.”

    This is the first time I’ve heard this news. Congratulations!

  5. Oh, and top o’ the mornin’ to ya if ye Irish be on this St. Patty’s day it be.

    Jimmy, are you drunk already, or is that just typical Irish speak? Or is there a difference?

  6. Congratulations!! Whoop!! Can’t wait to read your adventures in this pregnancy and parenting time of your life. Mine started in 1981…and now we are in the grandparenting part which is even more fun !

  7. My baby is a ninja!
    Anway, too right on our dear departed space program… I have no flying cars, no death ray, and I have lived to see the only American space station fall from the sky and the program go on to contract with the Russians of all people…

  8. “When SarahK saw the baby’s heartbeat, she cried. I even almost had an emotion.”

    Well, in fairness, I’ll bet you would have been a lot more emotional if it was yours.

  9. Netflix has installed teleportation devices upon all the cellphone towers in America. If you have cellphone service, they can teleport your returned movies from your mailbox.
    The kid isn’t using Sarah as a punching bag/kick bag yet? Times a wasting, kid. You won’t get away with it once you’re out.
    I heard playing ‘Mozart’ while the kid’s in the womb, makes ’em smirter, but I’d mix in some Marine Corp Cadences to make sure he/she doesn’t turn out to be a poof.

  10. Maybe SarahK cried because you ‘punished’ her with a baby.

    I get the feeling ‘In My World’ is going to involve Obama’s head getting stuck in poopy diapers soon.

  11. I really regret teaching my sons to talk, big mistake.
    The only time they ever listened to me was when was when I kept telling them “Don’t get smart!”.
    Trust me, they didn’t.
    Now I’m paying $27K a year to send the big one to college.

  12. Netflix is a godsend. When the Post Office scans your returned movie into it’s system, Netflix is notified and you not only get credit for it being returned, but your next movie is readied to be sent out. The turn around time is a snap. My local carrier says the increase in Post Office business is phenomenal.

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