Ahmadinejad referred to Obama as a “cowboy”? Come on. I know Obama is all about lowering our expectations and Ahmadinejad has to rail against the West, but you can’t just go calling Mr. “I want to have unconditional talks with Iran” a cowboy. He couldn’t even be an extra on Brokeback Mountain.

Here is how a real cowboy president would handle Ahmadinejad:

AHMADINEJAD: Imperialist American president, I’m glad you’ve finally agreed to sit down and talk with me. Now I can tell you–

**BANG!!**

AHMADINEJAD: AHHH! YOU SHOT ME IN THE FACE!!!

PRESIDENT: That’s right, you varmint! I don’t like you, so I done shot you! I’m a cowboy!

AHMADINEJAD: I’M BLEEDING EVERYWHERE! AHH!!

PRESIDENT: That will teach you to mess with the U.S. of A. And with Texas! Yee ha! I’m a cowboy!

AHMADINEJAD: YOU CRAZY SON OF A…

PRESIDENT: Now don’t you go building nuclear weapons and don’t you go rustling my cattle. ‘Cause I will shoot you in the face again. I’m a cowboy.

See, that’s a cowboy president. You can tell because he keeps saying so. And shoots people in the face. It’s petty simple.

Is Obama going to propose a new national sales tax? You’re probably thinking, “People would not like that.” But people didn’t like Obama’s health care plan, but he shoved it down our throats saying, “Stop struggling! You’ll learn to like it.”

The fact is, the government is running out of money and eventually they’ll need to get more. Since liberals are running the government, they’re not going to say the obvious answer of, “The government is big and stupid; let’s let it starve to death.” Instead, Obama will probably say, “I know who has money we can take: People. Let’s take more money from people.”

This is why we need to make sure the Republicans get majorities in November because then anytime Obama has some new idea, the Republicans will be like, “We don’t care about your ideas; actually, we’re trying to undo all your previous ideas.” And Obama will be like, “Can’t we wastefully spend money on something?” And Republicans will be like, “The only thing we’ll approve spending money on is using dinosaurs’ DNA to resurrect them and then put rocket launchers on them.” And Obama will be like, “Dinosaurs and rocket launchers are scary!” And the Republicans will be like, “Your ears are too big!” And then Obama will run off crying.

That’s how government should work.

Apparently some scientists have made proof of alternate universes, having made a “paddle” both visually vibrate and not vibrate at the same time.

So what does this mean as a practical matter for us?

It means we need to find a way to replace our Obama with the evil bearded Obama from an alternate universe. If he’s evil, we can only assume he’ll be an arch-conservative, but he’ll look the same except for the fancy goatee. And we banish our Obama to the alternate universe. He’ll try for a political comeback there, but when he goes to the politics store to buy what he needs, they’ll be like, “Sorry, but we’ve never heard of teleprompters in this universe.” Then Obama will freak out and it will be like the end of some Twilight Zone episode.

All this mindless prattle on how conservatives must only be for low taxes and small government because they’re racist has finally cause some focus on black conservatives who of course are a problem with that moronic meme.

Isn’t it a sad fact that in this day and age it actually takes courage for someone who is black to come out in support of liberty and against big government? With white people, we can take what ever political views we want. Yes, some will argue with us for them, but we won’t get called a “race traitor.” With blacks (and a lesser extent some other minorities), they have their political views chosen for them and can become a social outcast for picking their own. What the hell is that? How are low taxes and self-reliance “white” ideas? I assume that will fade away over time, but certainly not quick enough.

Just Another Rightwing Cracker

I noticed I haven’t really said much on Michael Steele on IMAO. That’s because I intensely don’t care. He’s the RNC Chairman. I usually don’t even know who that is. Someone people think he’s doing a horrible job, but I’m not sure what to compare him to not really knowing what a good RNC Chairman is supposed to do. Apparently fundraising is doing well, but if people think Steele is a big drag, then get rid of him quickly. If you can’t get rid of him quickly, then I’d shut up about him with all the other stuff we have to focus on. In the least, Steele doesn’t seem to be in the way of success in November only so much in that other Republicans seem to see the need to constantly talk about him.

Okay, so what the hell is Net Neutrality? All I know about it is it’s something the Kos Kids are going on and on about and pretty much no one else cares about, so I can only assume it’s extremely asinine. And knowing what left-wing considers a “moderate,” I can’t help but be suspicious of anything they consider “neutral.”

I think the crux of it is that an internet provider could choose to allocate resources to certain sites and apps, making others slower. Thus the Kos Kids are all worried that the Daily Kos could end up taking forever to load and wants the government to make sure that doesn’t happen, but is them waiting longer for Daily Kos really a tragedy or something? It’s not like any of them actually has anything better to do.

If you haven’t seen this yet, it will almost make you feel sorry for Arianna Huffington. She tries to ignore the discussion about Marco Rubio to mindlessly attack Giuliani like some little yip yip dog — for no reason other than I guess it’s her nature as a mindless liberal — and then gets raked over the coals for it:

Visit msnbc.com for breaking news, world news, and news about the economy

She really seems like some bad SNL character who doesn’t quite understand English or what anyone else is saying; I’m not sure how anyone else takes her seriously.

Anyway, is there a better example of an effective politician than Rudy Giuliani? Pretty much it’s always debatable how much a politician has to do with anything (most of a politician’s success is linked to the economy, and it’s always unclear how much politicians can influence that), but it’s pretty clear New York City was horrible when Giuliani came into office and he cleaned it up tremendously and it stays that way today. With the huge disparity between pre-Giuliani NYC and post-Giuliani NYC on things like crime and debt, it’s pretty much an objective fact he was a great mayor of NYC. Of course, how else could Republicans keep winning in a city that’s six to one Democrats?

President Obama is changing our nuclear retaliation policy, saying we won’t even use nukes in response to chemical or biological attacks. This is all to assure the world we won’t nuke them even though we probably will one of these days.

I don’t like assuring the world we won’t nuke them. My nuclear retaliation policy would be quite different.

PRESIDENT FRANK J.’S NUCLEAR RETALIATION POLICY

We will use nuclear retaliation under the following conditions:

1. We don’t like a country.

We will not use nuclear retaliation under the following conditions:

1. We’re out of nukes.

Also, I would reserve the right for preemptive strikes against natural satellites.

Also: never squinted, never killed McAble.

Here’s what Senator John McCain told a reporter:

“I never considered myself a maverick.”

I’m not really against John McCain’s reelection — yes, he often violently sodomizes conservatives on occasion, but that’s just part of his charm. Still, that’s quite a bit of convenient rewriting of history in time for the Republican primary. What’s that equivalent to?

John Kerry saying, “I never said I served in Vietnam.”

Al Gore saying, “I never considered global warming a great threat.”

Barrack Obama saying, “I never made any statements about hope or change.”

Sarah Palin saying, “I never made any comparisons between me and a pitbull.”

Mr. T saying, “I never pitied a fool.”

Me saying, “I never said anything about nuking the moon.”

Snarf from the Thundercats saying, “I don’t recall ever saying, “Snarf”, snarf snarf.”

Anyway, might as well enjoy arch-conservative McCain while he’s around.

Doctor Zero has a good article on how we have to keep fighting for repeal of Obamacare. But can we repeal? It’s tempting to say no based on the history of entitlements, but you have to remember that America is basically a lake of black swans. Everything we do is new an unprecedented, and you can’t make a very exact analogue to anything else in history. What would be really unexpected is for things to go just as everyone expects.

So while I’m tempted to be in the “You can’t do it! It’s impossible!” crowd, I really don’t know and it’s certainly worth trying. Keep that in mind with who you support this November.