I, like the president, have no idea how much apples cost.
50 years ago, even if you were a billionaire you still couldn’t get wireless internet access.
Obama is claiming Obamacare will save a trillion dollars? Might as well claim it saves $80 zillion. Who still buys that?
Harry Reid has to be the most useless, incompetent Senate Majority Leader since Hitler.
You can harp on Microsoft all you want, but their built in calculator is still my all time favorite for doing hexadecimal math.
The scientific name of the Western Lowland Gorilla is Gorilla gorilla gorilla. I’m guessing it’s more gorilla-y than the other gorillas.
Gorillas have near human levels of intelligence, equivalent to that of an Irishman.
If angered, a gorilla will e-mail an editorial denouncing you to multiple newspapers.
Only gorillas kept in captivity are able to bake pies.
The quickest way to enrage a gorilla is to text him as his fingers are too big to respond.
The gorilla is the only surviving ancestor of the pterodactyl.
Whoops; these aren’t gorilla facts. These are facts about your mom.
Buttercup better not come during the Oregon State game or as soon as she gets out she’s grounded.
If only the right-wing could be as calm and reserved as those constantly shrieking about “teabaggers”.
If Obama ever wants to change the subject of the national discussion, he should grow a moustache.
So, who’s going to teach Buttercup about witchcraft and masturbation? Mom or Dad?
5 times 6 = “1E”? What kind of crap is this?
She’ll be blinded by that awful blue smurf thing your boys call a home.
My dad, an OBGYN, came up with a foolproof way to predict when a baby would be born. You look at the calendar and find the most inconvenient day in the window 2 weeks before to 2 weeks after the due date. That’s the day the baby will be born. For 2 of the 3 babies whose births were unscheduled, this has worked! I went into labor with my oldest while my husband was out of contact at an orientation meeting, and with my 2nd on the day I was supposed to start teaching my absolute favorite part of the course. (The 3rd was born on a convenient Sunday morning, but after an extended false labor.)
Gorillas have near human levels of intelligence, equivalent to that of
an Irishman.a democrat.FIFY
…or is that giving democrats too much credit?
“Buttercup better not COME during the Oregon State game”… Umm… I won’t say it out of respect for Frank and Sarah but if you are going to keep lobbing softballs Frank, someone is going to have to hit them out of the park…
O’Bama–that’s an Irish name, right?
“Obama is claiming Obamacare will save a trillion dollars? Might as well claim it saves $80 zillion. Who still buys that?”
Funny, I thought that not spending a trillion dollars was how you saved a trillion dollars. Or does he mean that his original Obamacare was going to cost even a trillion more?
Gorillas have near human levels of intelligence, equivalent to that of
an Irishmancrows.Strange but true, lowly crows and ravens rank in intelligence with apes and whales. Fortunately for humans, crows use their intelligence primarily for peaceful purposes.
I’m not kidding when I say that I know a guy who made his pregnant wife wait until the game was over before taking her to the hospital. The baby turned out fine.
That’s only partially true. Wild gorillas (gorilla gorilla gorllia) are known to bake quiches.
Damned Irish.
As you wrote “gorilla” three times, I know it must be true.
May I suggest employing a trunk monkey to help with Buttercup? http://www.trunkmonkey.com/2009/09/12/trunk-monkey-6-chaperone-suburban-auto-group/
ussjimmycarter: did someone really have to _teach_ you about the big M? ’cause the rest of us kinda just figured that one out on our own…
Go Beav’s!
A woman in Montana kicked a 200 lb black bear in the chin when it attacked her dog, then beat it with a 14 lb zucchini when it tried to follow her into her house, forcing it to flee.
The bear is still at large.
The woman and dog are doing fine.
It’s time to let the women run the country while us men do what we do best.
(lawn care and auto maintenance.)
I wonder if we could not only get rid of illegal aliens but get rid of stupid, arrogant, knuckle-heads as well.
I’ve never even been tempted to do the Netflicks thing but I certainly won’t ever allow it in my house now. Find some other sucker to snooker out of their hard earned American dollars………yes I know apparently they are a dime a dozen, no pun intended.
Want to put people like that in their place, cancel your subscription now. Hit them in the only place they have any feelings……………their bottom line, pun so intended.
I can almost guarantee Buttercup will arrive not only during the game, but at the most exciting part of the game.
My first was born during the biggest football game of our alma mater…an early season matchup between them and their biggest rival. The nurses kept ducking out to check the score for the doctor…who had to be pried from the tv when I announced I was “ready”. I think the only way I might have been able to pry some attention away from the game would have been to wear one of those foam fingers. It was highly annoying to have to remind everyone in the room that I was having a baby and could someone help me out a little?
Men.