Now that I have a daughter, does that mean I finally have to figure out what exactly “Dora the Explorer” is?
I’m a little surprised by all the Dora hate. Getting a kid to me just means an excuse to finally watch SpongeBob.
Maybe we can make a compromise with liberals and get them to treat a black conservative as 3/5ths a true minority.
If Obama was ever turned into a zombie, I’d say, “Your head is shovel ready!” and hit him in the head with a shovel.
For the record, I sincerely hope Obama is never turned into a zombie.
I wish Alan Grayson would demand a recount. That would be fun to revisit.
Bob Etheridge was tricked into attacking kids! One of them had a “Strangle Me” sign on his back!
In the Middle East, does Tony the Tiger need to keep clarifying that he’s not saying that Frosted Flakes are better than Allah? “Frosted Flakes Akbar!”
According to Twitter, I am similar to Jim Treacher and Andy Levy. They wish!
Half of the stimulus money will go towards funding Obama’s trip to India.
Obama’s trip to India is so expensive he’ll have to sell one of the auto companies just to pay for snacks.
Obama will be accompanied by a thousand warships when he goes to India to make sure no one bothers him when he eats waffles.
This election sent a clear message to both parties that one party is better than the other.
It always creeps me out the way Obama winks at the camera whenever he promises not to murder us.
So Darwin figured out natural selection by observing birds but never once looked in a mirror and rethought the massive beard?
Saw Waiting for Superman. Thought the way they fixed the schools in the end by flying around the earth really fast was a bit of a copout.
Dora the Explorer is an annoying little broad who never shuts up. She is also louder when she “speaks” (Screams is the better word) in Spanish. She is quite proud that America is “accepting” annoying little people like her.
She is also a fraud. She is no explorer. Lewis and Clark went through the rapids, grizzly bears, Blackfoot Indians, and sinister prairie dogs of the West thanks to their own bravery, intelligence, and much help from kind natives. Dora the “Explorer” gets through a less-threatening cartoon environment thanks to formerly inanimate objects that are brought to life. Is Dora a witch? Perhaps. We certainly know the writers keep her out of any trouble. Dora, what’s the Spanish word for “bullcrap”?
My parents are looking for cars. Over the weekend, Dad sat in an Obama Motors Jeep. He described it as being so cheap a six pack of peanut butter crackers from a snack machine would be a better financial investment.
When it comes to things like Dora the Explorer, having a kid is kind of like the lottery. My oldest is 36, my youngest just turned 30. The whole kid-having experience is beautiful, it’s a miraculous life changing kind of thing. But I still have bad dreams about the Smurfs and Care Bears. Carnivorous monsters that like hugs. In your case, you get Dora the Explorer, and God knows what they will come up with next. Enjoy man, it was a beautiful part of my life, and I hope the same for you. I have no idea what to tell you about Spongebob however.
None of that PBS crap for your daughter. Get all the old Warner Bros. Loony Toons on DVD and have her study them.
Hey, isn’t today Guy Fawkes day or sumpin?
You haven’t watched SpongeBob yet? It’s way, way better than Dora The Explorer.
Wait – so now we’re outsourcing the Presidency to India?? As long as we repatriate the office in 2013, I’m fine with it.
Get all the old Warner Bros. Loony Toons on DVD and have her study them.
Amen to that! How else will Buttercup learn about physics, gravity, explosions, the ACME company, and anvils if she doesn’t watch Bugs Bunny?
I’d also throw in Schoolhouse Rock – those were actually educational and fun.
Before you get to Dora you’ll wonder why Sesame Street needs tax paying money to survive because Elmo toys are crazy expensive.. that revenue should cover all production costs.
SpongeBob? SpongeBob??
I’m not saying that SpongeBob plays for the other team or anything. But he is really into Twitter. IYKWIMAITTYD.
MarkoMancuso: I believe the spanish word is mireda
I have to agree with Infidel: Spongebob is way better than Dora. Who would trade subtle gay jokes and sexual inuendo for a bipolar, shrieking, little ego-maniac with a monkey?
Julia: mierda
🙂
Doris, Doris, Doris the Exploris… Don’t you know her brain is really porous?
At least she isn’t a hippie, enviro nut like her cousin Diego.
I also recently noticed Bob the Builder went granola. He used to be pretty cool.
Green indoctrination starts pretty early Frank, so watch out.
For the record, I sincerely hope Obama IS turned into a zombie.
I dunno about Dora, but my nephew and niece came for a visit a few months back. I kinda like Herr Spongebob. On the other hand, when they’d watch iCarly, which seems to be on 22 hours/day, I’d tear my clothes and cover myself in ashes. iCarly is made by liberals. Pre-empt all iCarly programming with Loony Toons.
While you’re buying DVD’s, pick up the original Speed Racer series if you want her to start learning to drive at a young age. I learned lots about driving from Speed (for example, when going into a a skid, hit the brake and clutch). Parts of Speed Racer were deemed too violent for American children in the sixties but fortunately, they left in the parts where drivers crash, climb out of their cars on fire, fall down and then die.
Didja know that Keith Olberman contributed thousands of dollars against Rand Paul? Aqua Buddha is not happy. And I don’t like Olberman any more.
Random thought: Whup, lost it
Kids should grow up palying outside not watching television. Plenty of time for that when your old.
but if you are going to watch, John Wayne, Abbot and Costello, and American Gladiators is all the TV you will ever need.
“According to Twitter, I am similar to Jim Treacher and Andy Levy. They wish!” Jim and Andy are teh ghey? Who knew!
Is Obama going to Nuke India? He’s taking enough ships. I think they are there to observe what happens when you nuke someone! Of course India is not a Mooslim nation so Obama can nuke the bajeebers out of it and say “see, I’m tough on our enemies, look what I just did to India”! I think they are going like Super Nuke India after he leaves. Either that or they will send in Hillary Clinton and she will rip everyone’s heart out of their chest. I think I’d take the Nukin’
ErnieLoco- School House Rock is great, but they also make me think about what happened to our culture.
Watch the History section, realize that they were made by people who were considered very liberal 30 to 40 years ago, think about how today’s liberals would write the same episode and you either weep for the future or get really really angry.
Now where did I put my progressive targeting Illudium Q-36 explosive space modulator?
Having a child also means TOYS Frank, TOYS! Imagine the look on your daughters face when she wakes up to a new Glock or Smith & Wesson! I’m sure she is too young for dangerous toys like model rockets and motorcycles but you can buy them now and just keep them “in good working order” until she is!
“Now that I have a daughter, does that mean I finally have to figure out what exactly “Dora the Explorer” is?”
Well, let’s just say that the phrase “entering a foreign country illegally” has apparently been replaced with the term “exploring”.
Hey, a shout-out to Plants vs. Zombies! I HATE those bucket-heads – so very hard to eradicate. (And therefore so very appropriate to represent Ozomba.) A single-minded, uni-directional shuffling loser looking for brains – yep, sounds more and more like him. Your sincere hope seems to have come too late. I think he already IS a zombie. (I rather like the name Ozomba, though. It has a nice ring to it.)
Between Dora, the Wonder Pets, and Barney (the ghey dinosaur, not the gehy congressman) Frank will be pining for some Spongebob, Bugs Bunny, Speed Racer, and Ultraman. Throw in some original Jonny Quest. The original, not the Ted Turner New Age version.
Don’t let any child watch Dora or any of its ilk. Just dumb. But also very, very creepy. It tries to pretend that it’s an edutainment game. But it’s a TV show. All this “interaction” and waiting for kids to “move cursors” and stuff. I about dropped brix when I saw it the first time (I can still take you to the exact trailer house in South Texas that I saw it, even though there’s two years and 1500 miles between me and then).
@storm1911: Race Bannon rules! He has the coolest name and no one can fire a carbine from the hip the way he does.
I agree with Son of Bob about Dora the Explorer…
Because she A.) ‘explores’, B.) has ‘items’ which are ‘swiped’ from her, which she has to go ‘find’ and C.) she has to ‘go’ to multiple places.
Hmm…
Dora’s okay but I never understood why her parents don’t keep an eye on her whereabouts. Frank, take it from an experienced mom – never let your daughter wander off – esp. with a dangerous monkey. I’d also steer way clear of PBS/Sesame Street – unless you want her singing the Rosie O’Donnell version of “What makes a family”. Then there’s Kermit, accompanied by Michael Stype, Whoppi Goldberg, and Katy Perry in their environmental rendition of “green is good”. BLECH – turned that junk off years ago.
Give her a magnifying glass & teach her how to melt a Captain Planet doll.
I would recommend tractor-pulling videos for cultural balance: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=82POyhtfIag
Also, safe driving techniques: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Cx7KxNMHwHs
Cheers
Pingback: Steynian 428rd « Free Canuckistan!
Forget Dora and Spongebob – Phineas and Ferb rules!