This is terrifying: a gang of feral cats the size of dogs is attacking people in Australia.
Ever notice how to domesticate the dog they made it calmer and more social, but to domesticate the cat they made it… smaller. That’s what a house cat is: This thing with weird lizard eyes, sharp teeth, and retractable claws (?!) that’s just too small to kill us. You take one of those and make it the size of a pit bull and suddenly you’ve gone from pet to literal monster. You know what a cat the size of a dog is? It’s a tiger — except without the nice temperament.
Here’s a horror scenario: Suddenly all house cats become the size of dogs. Tell me that wouldn’t be at least ten times worse than a zombie apocalypse.
So, nobody was watching and DamnCat slipped out the side door?
‘Cause cats is fast. Not sparkly, though.
This thread is useless without pictures.
I always knew someday those little Pu sses would stop posting at the Daily Kos and start biting people and terrorizing neighborhoods.
DamnCat’s image just got larger. I’m heading for Marko’s house.
I’m with Gordo. Said one witness, “They’re creatures so foul, so cruel that no man yet has fought with them and lived. If you doubt your courage or your strength, come no further, for death awaits you all with nasty, big, pointy teeth.”
Damn, why did I put off buying that AR in .308?
Wow, that’s insane! I’m petting my sweet and thankfully small Russian Blue cat as I type. Nice kitty…
And the “authorities” are talking about rounding them up? Methinks they need some .45 ACP medicine.
LOL, Aussies herding cats. It will look like a democrat thinking. I need popcorn.
well, they took up all the guns and now see what that’s got them.
Frank, ya bugger, them cats gie us a only a minor scrap. You ever see a dingo the size of a monster truck? I have, bucko. We all have.
Damncat, you got some ‘splainin’ to do.
hey found another feral cat story with pictures. I think I spotted DamnCat. Must be on holiday.
http://weeklyworldnews.com/headlines/30818/feral-cat-gangs/
You take one of those and make it the size of a pit bull and suddenly you’ve gone from pet to liberal monster.
Just a slight change. (Actually, that’s the way I read it at first. You have me well trained, Frank.)
Has Austrailia been THAT pussified?
‘Big as dogs’ doesn’t say much. The woman attacked owned a Fox Terrier, that might top out at 25 lb.
Send in the Mutant Black Russian Squirrels to combat this menace!……. Or, just shoot ’em. (Sorry, DamnCat)
Back when I was a kid on our farm in rural Idaho we had a way to deal with feral cats, but when you tell these younger city kids about that method they get all crying and stuff.
Actually, it was somewhat useful to have a few feral cats around the farm because they would kill the mice in the hay stacks, but it was also handy to have a dog that liked to chase cats around too lest you end up with too many cats around. And if the dog couldn’t get the job done then we would move on to plan #.22
And the best thing about this plan is the gorillas freeze to death in the winter.
I have a male blue point Ragdoll that is 35 pounds and growing. The most aggressive thing I’ve ever seen him do is roll over on his back for much belly rubs!!! It’s all about the breed ma’ boy!!! Ragdolls can’t be aggressive if they try!!! Although they read IMAO frequently and I do notice much attention to front claws and teeth! Then they get into my wallet and book a flight to Idaho until I tell them that TSA is going to stick something up their butts…then they like cancel in a hurry! I have them pretty scared of the bugger monster!
I’d take this story with a grain of salt, remember next to the Irish the Aussies are the biggest bunch of boozers on the planet.
You forgot about the lovely Maine Coon cats, which are huge but are also some of the most docile cats around (like great danes – gentle giants) – this one measures in at 4 feet long and he’s apparently one of the sweetest pets around: http://www.usaliveheadlines.com/1403/worlds-longest-cat-measured-in-at-4-feet.htm The two largest cats we’ve ever owned (at least 20 lbs each, both far bigger than my dog ever was) were also the most gentle – well, the one was gentle with all people and other pets; if you were an interloper or a yard pest, you’d end up splashed all over my front porch; and the other one is gentle as a lamb with all creatures and people.)
You want something to fear? Read up on Argentinian ants. Or check this out – http://www.cracked.com/article/125_13-real-animals-lifted-directly-out-your-nightmares/
Plenty of scary animals out there; cats are near the bottom of my list. Though it’s a very interesting story; I wonder what is going on in Australia then? Weird.
Criminey – I go take a little 8 hour nap and you all start freakin’ out.
You think those cats want to eat people? Believe me, they don’t. I expect you’ll find that they only attacked people who didn’t give them tuna. So give them tuna. There – problem solved.
Now if you’ll excuse me, it’s bedtime.
Yeah, listen to DamnCat, guys. Remember when Britain and France gave Hitler his own Czech kind of free tuna? It worked; no war in Europe since.
I’m just sayin’.
Gordo wants pictures?
Here’s one trying to get into someone’s home…
http://izismile.com/2011/03/18/daily_picdump_97_pics-2.html
Don’t be ridiculous, Marko. What the heck would we want with the Czech Republic? It’s landlocked – there’s no tuna there!
DamnCat, it may be time to admit that there might be a tuna problem. Do you even WANT the tuna, or do you NEED the tuna? Do you often find yourself eating tuna alone? Instead of that good feeling that tuna used to give you, do you find that the tuna just fills the aching void for more tuna, and just for a little while…and that it seems that the “tuna feeling” seems to fade quicker each time you eat it? Do you now find yourself doing some extreme things – such as attacking Aussies – in order to get tuna? Some cats that convince themselves that they’re merely “social” tuna eaters are, in fact, full blown tunaholics. Some of us have been discussing a possible intervention. And, your friend Marko has been very concerned and at the forefront of the discussions about how to best help you…although, some of us are beginning to think that he actually just wants to get Dr. Phil’s autograph and may be using this as an excuse.
The only effective countermeasures against these feral cats the size of dogs are feral pigs (Asian wild boars) the size of Volkswagons. If you put one up against Michael Moore, you say to yourself, “Man, that’s a big pig.”
Son of Bob – your post was a bit overlong so I just scanned it.
If I may, I’ll synopsize your main points:
Absolutely! Couldn’t have said it better myself!
Hitler got Czechoslovakia and then, with Czech inspiration, his people built the ugliest car in human history. God only knows what will happen when cats build such a car. Tuna, catnip, and design bureaus mix as well as Obama and foreign policy, my friends.
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So… is Australia no longer over-run with mice, rats, and rabbits? or have the cats gone over to the other side? What does that fox terrier know that it’s not telling us, and why did the cats try to silence it?
Cats are nothing but effeminate dogs.
— M. Python
This true story is for DamnCat since he loves cats so much.
Years ago, I had a female Siamese who would beg for seafood just like a dog. Sure, she liked tuna, but she’d completely lose control over fresh Dungeness crab. (If you don’t know what that is or where it comes from, bless your heart!)
So, one day, instead of just giving her one bite and then letting her suffer, I served her a relatively small portion of fresh crab in her dish. Crab from heaven!
Kinda rich, I know. But hey, she was a good cat and deserved a treat.
She wolfed-down the crab in seconds, walked about 10 feet and proceeded to barf the crab back up – completely unchewed – into a pile on the carpet that looked EXACTLY like it did in the bowl. Oh, poor kitty!!
Deciding to clean it up, I went to the kitchen to crab paper towels and water and returned only to find she had re-eaten the pile of crab! Several minutes went by and she barfed it all back up again in a nice neat, clean pile. But this time, I cleaned it up before she could eat it again.
She was the only cat I truly liked. But she couldn’t hold her crab.
That only proves that cats are USELESS.
You think that’s scary, http://www.usnewslasvegas.com/featured/tashirojima-cat-island-survives-japan-tsunami/
Cat Island in Japan survived the tsunami and earthquake but now it’s in danger from radioactivity.
Which means they’re soon going to have cats the size of godzilla demanding gigantic tuna, chickens and balls of yarn.
Let me get this straight:
Aussies have snakes that can eat kangaroos, funnel web spiders that actually rear up and can bite through leather, blue ring octopi that are super mini and can kill you, and then box jellyfish longer than some full-grown humans…. and it’s CATS that they’re worried about? Give em some vegemite catnip and call it a day, mates.
This is why you need guns. Australia bans guns, and suddenly the cats start their revolution. It can not be unrelated.
The statement “bigger than dogs” is meaningless. I saw a Great Dane being led through the streets today, someone in town owns a Russian Wolf Hound. And I’ve seen dogs smaller than the smallest cats I’ve ever seen. Cats are fairly uniform in size; dogs vary wildly.
They are Siamese if you please.
They are Siamese if you don’t please.
Beware of the Persians…
I, for one, welcome our new cat overlords.
Isn’t cat, well, edible? In a pinch, I mean.
…I’m just sayin’ is all.
Bite me
davisbr says:
March 21st, 2011 at 2:46 am
Isn’t cat, well, edible? In a pinch, I mean.
…I’m just sayin’ is all.
I think that’s the standard solution farther north from there.
Best fortune cookie ever: “That wasn’t chicken”
@davisbr,
Exactly. Cats…the other white meat. Or, as some cultures refer to them: Chow mein.
This just in from the desk of Captain Obvious: NYT/ Science!/Tweety Was Right: Cats Are Birds #1 Enemy
EAT THE CATS YESS!!
I’ll be damned I let a cat run me, send some ferce attack dogs after them (cainus panther,czech wolfdogs etc)
cats now are100% useless anyway, dogs do everything now.
And their fur is soft and warm. That reminds me of the story about some Soviet agricultural experts who visited a cat food plant in the US back in the good old Glasnost days. The cat food company reps showed them the testing facility they’d set up to see if the food blends they mixed up were acceptable to their resident cat food tasting cats. At the end of the tour, one of the Soviet experts asked, “But what do you do with the pelts?”