The Navy SEALs who took out Osama bin Laden may have used night vision contact lenses powered by blinking. This is the sort of scifi technology I want to hear about our military using.
You ever play the game Civilization? I always like when you’ve been advancing your nation and then run into some isolated civilization that wasn’t able to advance and then you attack them and it’s tanks and F-15s against chariots. That should be every American conflict. Our technology should be so advanced, that beating us should be unthinkable.
That’s why we need space laser. I want every enemy of America to be scared of ever having a clear view of the sky because that is all we need to laser someone. And we need robot warriors whose metal exteriors are immune to surplus Russian armaments. Robots on the ground, lasers in the sky — that’s what you expect if you anger America. That, and a T-Rex launching rockets while charging you. So, you might think the Taliban is great, but you have to ask yourself: Is it get roasted by space lasers and eaten by dinosaurs great?
Somehow I don’t see our military taking giant leaps forward under Obama! Like the F-22 Rapture… Everyone said we don’t need a plane that is that good. How stupid is that! That’s what they said about the Abrams tank when it came out. How did that work out for us? And now the F-35 (very ghey) Joint Strike Fighter is in deep trouble! No we don’t need the F-22 because it’s too good! That like makes as much sense as saying we don’t need The Ronald Reagan Aircraft Carrier because it’s way better than anything else out there! Idiots are running our country and military right now! In 5 years they will be saying…hey, we better build the F-22 because China and Russia have caught up to us and have passed us!!!
We don’t want Obama military improvements. We can’t expect to get the Cheney 9000 robot laser-saurus with remote view night vision from this administration.
It will all be rubber bullets and Hug guns. Maybe some sort of attack panda armed with aerosol self esteem drugs.
Night vision contacts would be a very, very bad idea. Goggles and glasses exist outside your eyelids, which is the final barrier between your corneas, and lots of pain. Ever see what happens when NVGs are hit with a really bright light? Screaming blindness of the type when you finally find the bathroom light switch at 3 A.M.
If you’re wearing goggles you can remove them when you note you’re about to step into light. (Even for Seal Ninja Force 12, light is sometimes unavoidable) Personally, making up a whole new set of hand signals to silently communicate that you need to stop and take out your awesome contacts seems like wasted time that can better be spent shooting your new chum Osama. (Chum, get it? AHAHAH!)
DEAR LORD! I’ve lost a contact. Nobody move! And close your eyes. I’m going to turn on the lights.
The most we can expect from Obama is the 1960’s Batman utility belt. what we need is the Dick Cheney (pat. pending) Death Kill Laser and Missle Mounted Dinosaurs with quick waterboarding action.
Peace through superior firepower
Don’t modern night vision devices have an auto-dim feature if hit by a bright light? If not, they should. Heck, if we have transitions lenses, why not night-vision contact lenses that auto-protect the eyes?
Given the topic of the previous thread, one might be led to ask if we can trust our government with these awesome hi-tech weapons or contact lenses as the case may be. The answer, of course, is no, but we still trust them more than pretty much every other government out there. It’s like that old saying about democracy being the worst form of government. Unfortunately, Iran feels the same way about their government. It’s quite the pickle.
I don’t know much about high-tech military these days, but I can tell you this much: a majority of our military despises their CinC.
Frankly, I say we can move on to Scy-Fy (That’s how it’s spelled now) stuff when we give our guys a decent rifle round and better training. 5.56 is a groundhog round, for crying aloud.
Thanks, ussjc, F-22 Rapture is far and away superior to F-22 Raptor.
Also, the Army of the Tennessee – with 1863 equipment – under U.S. Grant could quite possibly do a job equal to what we’re now doing in Afghanistan. That is a testament to the excellence of that army, but it’s more a testament to how incompetent and clueless our war-making policies are now.
With the condition of the American people as is (“There’s a war?”), I’m uncertain as to whether the problem starts at the top or the bottom.
F-22 Rapture? Is that the one where as soon as you climb in the cockpit, you see the light?
F-22 Rapture? Is that the one where as soon as you climb into the cöckpit, you see the light?
(This is ridiculous, Frank.)
He He He… Jimmy said C*ckpit….
You’d think the WordPress censor would at least ignore a bad word if it’s followed or preceded by a non-space character. I await now for an elucidation from Basil, the very foundation of IMAO knowledge!
Jimmy:
It’s simple: that’s how WordPress works. But I’m sure if you write to Matt, he’d change it for you.
Because of the functionality — it’s a wildcard match, not an exact word match — it can wreak havoc when you try to keep it clean. Or PG-13 clean. Imagine how frustrating it is for USC fans!
“Scy-Fy (That’s how it’s spelled now)”
On Twitter and basic cable maybe, otherwise no.
Thanks, Basil. You’re always there when we need you!
Sö, ä wörd tö thê wísê: whên ín döübt, üsê än ümläüt!
Laser Dinosaurs? Why?
If you can make night vision contact lenses,
put a death ray on a gecko instead.
Little stinkers can climb anywhere.
I won’t suggest a mirrorred brea8tplate to defend against the geckos lest I get censored.
Do they have those contacts in dinosaur size. Dinosaurs armed with rocket launchers wearing night-vision contacts – could it possibly get more awesome than that?
One mistake! A guy makes one mistake and will the posters on IMAO give him a pass…yea…K! I have to go sit in the corner now with my self esteem all in shambles and such!!!
Meh, I have a pair of those SEAL team night vision contacts. They aren’t so hot.
One mistake. One l i t t l e mistake!
One measly little slap. That’s what done it.
I just gotta say, a T-Rex with lasers sounds great, but they’re already top heavy dinosaurs. I think a triceratops mounted laser beam would be more effective do to better weight distribution. Prolly could carry more weight, too. Suggesting the possibility of even bigger lasers, or rockets, or who knows what else.
I have to go sit in the corner now with my self esteem all in shambles and such!!!
See – and you all scoffed at the pandas with aeresol self esteem drugs!
Yeah, that, “I got hit by light while wearing NVGs and so I’m now in blinding pain!” thing is a Hollyweird myth. They are basically little LED displays. You could shine a flashlight at them and they’d actually be dimmer than the flashlight, I.e. They’d provide protection from the flashlight. You aren’t going to get painful light from them.