* Obama has threatened to veto the Republicans’ “cut, cap, and balance” bill. He said, “I’m okay with balancing the budget and I’d like to avoid default, which could destroy our nation, but not if that involves any spending cuts. If anything, I want to spend even more money, and I can’t comprehend any reason I shouldn’t get what I want. So there’s nothing I will let be cut… except maybe some defense. Like I’ve been seeing this bill lately for drone strikes in Libya; anyone even have any idea what that’s about? If we cut that, though, then I’d just want the money in more social programs. People love those… and if they don’t, I’m sure they will eventually if I force them on people. Now excuse me, I have tee time.”
I’m starting to think we’re not going to get anything meaningful done with the budget while Obama is president.
* Harry Reid says the Senate will meet every day until the debt limit increase is passed. That’s Harry Reid, always doddering to action to get things done. Of course, they could have gotten this budget mess all sorted out way back when Democrats had majorities in the House and Senate, but now Reid is finally determined to get it done. What did America do to deserve such dynamic leadership? I’m guessing slavery.
* Wonder where all that tax money Obama and the Democrats won’t cut is going? Well, $900,000 is going for studying the size of gay men’s penises. You ask a regular person, “Hey, want to spot me $900,000 to study gay men’s penis sizes?” and the person would say, “That’s a huge sum of money and an idiotic thing to spend it on!” You ask the government, which only spends other people’s money, though, and they’re like, “Wow! What a bargain on finding out the sizes of gay men’s penises!” I’m starting to wonder if this system of giving nitwits in DC billions of our dollars to spend and the ability to confiscate more of our money when they feel like it is such a great idea. I can’t put my finger on it, but something about that just doesn’t seem well thought out.
* MSNBC is thinking of adding Al Sharpton to their lineup. I guess MSNBC finally decided to diversify their staff of red-faced white guys like Chris Matthews and Ed Schultz shouting incoherently and add a race-baiting bottom feeder. It really goes with their new slogan: “MSNBC: You’re now dumber for having watched us.”
* Speaking of dumber for having watched MSNBC, Rachel Maddow was trying to scare people on the voter ID law — which is rather hard, because having someone show a valid photo ID before voting just reeks so much of basic common sense — and she claimed that people with concealed carry permits are exempted from the law. A CONCEALED CARRY PERMIT IS A VALID PHOTO ID, IDIOT! People always talk about guns’ ability to kill, but their biggest power seems to be to cause certain people’s IQ to drop 60 points by the mere mention of them.
Also, since you can get a free photo ID, who exactly is going to be disenfranchised by this law other than the extremely lazy? And weren’t they already disenfranchised, since voting requires you to get up and do stuff? Is there really any argument against showing your ID to vote other than that you think voter fraud will help your party?
* John Hawkins of Right Wing News says the independent, conservative blogosphere — of which IMAO is a member — is dying. Traffic for IMAO actually peaked way back during the 2004 election. There wasn’t much of an increase for the 2008 election, and it’s been down for a while. Still, I’m hoping for some big things in 2012 (plus it will be IMAO’s tenth blogiversary), but I do wonder if there will be much traffic to keep going after that and I’ll have to join some bigger establishment blog to keep going. BTW, tell everyone to read IMAO — its news roundup is great!
* Wisdom of the Day: “What Obama says: ‘I can fix it!’ What he means: ‘Buy gold!'” –J.P. Freire
* Yesterday, I asked you what could be done to make soccer more interesting, and I really think the answer is nothing. Everything just seems lame when you add soccer to the mix. Like I thought of adding dinosaurs to soccer (the T-Rex has tiny, useless hands, so he seems like a good fit), but then I imagined dinosaurs playing soccer, and now I hate dinosaurs. Still, I said I’d give out HIGH PRAISE and KingJamesTheCapitalist wrote this:
I would make soccer more interesting by tying all the players to metal poles that allow them to hang above the arena just high enough to where their feet don’t touch the ground. Then you inter-space them appropriately for an even mach up put the ball in the middle and get a group of drunk college students to move the poles around so the players can hit the ball into the opposing teams goal.
That does sound kind of fun, so HIGH PRAISE for KingJamesTheCapitalist.
KingJamesTheCapitalist, we all aspire to have your wisdom.
Not if you’re a democrat or dead in a democrat district. Hell, you don’t even have to register yourself the local Student Democrat Association will do it for you and give a bum a pack of smokes to cast the vote.
So, like we spent $900,000! What IS the average size of a ghey dudes package? I’m guessing not all that impressive given the lack of male hormones and such…but then there is “wiener candy” so you never know…absolutely something to drop $900 large on in a time of economic collapse. High Praise to the US Government. See…if I can’t win High Praise I shall start handing it out like nobody’s business! Hey, what the hell…High Praise to ussjimmycarter just for being him! Muwahahahahahahah!
I think MSNBC is trying to put comedians out of work – if they hire Al Sharpton, the jokes tell themselves.
By the way… you think people are just NOW dumber for having watched MSNBC?
Does anyone else remember when SNL used to be a funny as MSNBC?
Frank I think you should be more careful about what you are putting a finger on while you are discussing gay men’s penises.
“Still, I’m hoping for some big things in 2012…”
Like vhat? More wisdom from Bantha_Fodder?
“tell everyone to read IMAO — its news ground up” – FIFY
My scientific study which I am not making up found that homosexuality is directly related a young man’s upbringing.
There. I saved you much money. In return, I demand a gift cerftificate to my favorite pizza joint and a year’s supply of .22 LR, .223, and 30.06.
If you offer me an autographed picture of James Cagney and some strawberry seeds, I’ll do a study that finds lesbianism is directly related to a young woman’s upbringing.
Hmm, 900k to study ghey penis size. That gives me an idea, 900k (give or take a few grand) to study the shape and feel of college girls’ breasts and how that relates to nocturnal habits at near campus beverage and music establishments during the college football season.
“I wasn’t groping her, officer, I was doing scientific research. Why do you hate SCIENCE!?”
“Is there really any argument against showing your ID to vote other than that you think voter fraud will help your party?”
This! How stupid are people? How can anyone try to argue against showing a photo ID?
Classic!
I’m starting to think we’re not going to get anything meaningful done with the budget while Obama is president.
If you’re only starting to think that, you’re a really slow learner.
On the other hand, do we really want Obama, Harry Reid, Dick Durbin, Nancy Pelosi, Debbie Wasserman Schultz, et al, trying to do anything meaningful? I want that about as much as I want my four-year-old nephew driving.
Another HIGH PRAISE earner to join the Garden of AWESOMENESS! Grats KingJamesTheCapitalist – just remember to bring the beer
Harry Reid doddering to action. Most excellent visual!
I volunteer to help with this study! (as a researcher, not a researchee.) Sounds like a good pickup line:
“Excuse me, I’m doing a scientfic study on how the extracurricular activities of college students are influenced by genetic physical properties. Would you be willing to help?”
“What do I have to do?”
“Just answer a few questions about your drinking habits. Oh, and let me grab your boobs.”
*SLAP*
Hey! Weinergate is so over!
Harry Reid is determined to “meet every day” until a deal is reached. Wow! Such fierce determination!
I know! While waiting for the Republicans to jump through hoops for Reid, defending themselves against charges that the GOP wants to euthanize everyone over the age of 50, maybe Reid can keep busy. A super, splendiferous idea would be for Reid, the majority leader of the Senate, to propose a budget.
Now, you may say that why the Senate would busy themselves with something so trifling as passing a budget. Don’t bother us with such niceties such as Article I, and especially that pesky Section 7! We’re busy explaining how the OTHER guys have a plan that will turn our society into a veritable Logan’s Run!
Rest assured, America. Harry Reid is on the job. Harry Reid is a man of action. Harry Reid, with everything going on… has vowed… to meet. #forAmerica
Well, I for one consider myself edified. Here I was thinking that I lived my life in a female centric mode, only to discover that we live in a penis centric society. Am I the only one not centered on penises? Does that make me weird? Also, I’m a little fuzzy on this “tops” and “bottoms” thing. Is it anything like Chutes and Ladders?
Will there be some population tracking? That is to say, correlation of weiner size does not imply causation. I’d be interested to know if in fact it is the sexual habits of “tops” that cause penis growth instead of the other way around. Certainly, I could buy into the hypothesis that being a “bottom” decreases penis size.
More importantly, will this comment get moderated?
Bah. No moderation for me.
“MSNBC is thinking of adding Al Sharpton to their lineup.”
Well it’s getting rough these days for MSNBC to find new hosts, as current laws don’t allow psychiatric institutions to release information about their patients, and that limits the pool of mentally challenged from which their HR department can draw new “talent.”
“That’s Harry Reid, always doddering to action”
Kudos Frank, what a brilliant re-election slogan for Harry Reid: HARRY REID: DODDERING TO ACTION!
Bendover_Fodder is starting to wear me out! Fingernails on a chalk board wear me out! Hillary Clinton giving a speech wear me out! New job for him…measuring gay men’s penis sizes with a very precise ruler and glasses that require up-close readings to get exact measurements to the 64th of an inch with precise placement at the proper start of shaft above balls! He would be excellent and would certainly enjoy his new job! Plus the $5.00 per hour would be a big advancement in career!
MSNBC is still on?!?! I think that’s bigger news than Al Sharpton.
Burma, as the English would say, you really cocked that up.
Woo hoo! Moderation for me! Five points, I do believe, sir!
Ghey men’s penis size? Are the measurements in metric or RAIN FIRE AND BRIMSTONE FROM HEAVEN AND CONSUME BOTH SODOM AND GOMORRAH! oops I ment metric or English measurements.
Strangely I felt a dissapointed for not earning High Praise for my submisson yesterday. I thnk I’ll start a 12 step program for the rest of us. We admitted we were powerless over Banta Fodder—that our lives had become unmanageable because of him
Marko, you’re bad, BAD!!! So bad, it looks like Frank won’t unmoderate you.
And Ed, you’re just funny. I thought your entries yesterday were sufficiently off-the-wall to merit High Praise under Ordinary High Praise Measurement Standards (OHPMS). But apparently, Bantha_Father has raised those standards. Either that or Frank has been nipping on the mothers milk!! (Happy Birthday, Sarah K.!!) Even over-sexed ussjimmycarter can approach them now.
When IS the fire and brimstone, btw? I’d like to set my countdown timer so I know when to cook-up lots of goodies to eat before a meteor bonks my head and takes me off planet.
Seems to me that penis measuring would be something the TSA would already be doing. No additional tax money required…
Fire and Brimstone that’s a punk rock group right?
Golly I wish people in Nevada wouldn’t vote when they’re inebriated. It’s the only thing that explains how Reid continues to get re elected. That and his lovely complexion and beautiful smile, that is.
@Choey, No way. After all, they’re professionals:
http://www.foxnews.com/us/2010/05/06/tsa-worker-arrested-jokes-fight-size-genitalia/
Obie can’t veto the balanced budget amendment if (God willing) it passes:
“It is interesting to note that at no point does the President have a role in the formal amendment process (though he would be free to make his opinion known). He cannot veto an amendment proposal, nor a ratification. This point is clear in Article 5, and was reaffirmed by the Supreme Court in Hollingsworth v Virginia (3 US 378 [1798])”
– Some U.S. Constitution site I Googled.
So neener, neener, neener to him!
Son of Bob all I can say is……Ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha and one big Hoo-Haa!
Well, Frank, you’ve certainly passed the test with this diatribe of BS that proves you’re stupid enough to dwell among the Conservatives. Congratulations.
Son of Bob…Golden! The dude has to A) work for the TSA and B) be “That Dude”! Pretty much sucks to be him!
“I didn’t vote for Harry Reid’s policies, I voted for his amazingly deathly and pale complexion!”
I’ve actually seen this done, at Winter Carnival in Quebec. But without the drunken college students (actually, most of the players were probable drunken college students or drunken tourists).
I opened IMAO in 7 tabs at the same time. Will that improve your traffic count?