[High Praise! to VW (via email)]
Just wanted to let you know – today I received my 2013 Social Security Stimulus Package. It contained two tomato seeds, cornbread mix, two discount coupons to KFC, an “Obama Hope & Change” bumper sticker, a prayer rug, a machine to blow smoke up my ass and a “Blame it on Bush” poster for the front yard. The directions were in Spanish. Yours should arrive soon.

Harvey, You didn’t get the memo. Michelle has disallowed the KFC coupon, but she’d like you to send it back so she can use it. She’ll be sending you a new coupon for I Can’t Believe It’s Not Tofu.
Nope. Haven’t gotten it yet. But I know what she looks like: about 5’5″, 120 lbs, green eyes, reddish-brown hair, IQ of 140+, a Conservative and with a smile that melts brick.
Yep, by the time I get my Obamacare-mandated colonoscopy I should have colon cancer from all the smoke blown up there by these people.
Fried chicken, cornbread, and tomatoes? Wow that’s racist.
Black people eat tomatoes, right?
I eat fried chicken and cornbread.