Straight Line of the Day: A New Report Shows Government Workers Are Absent 50% More Than Private Sector Ones. What Do They Do With That Time Off?

Works like this: I feed you Moon Nukers a straight line, and you hit me with a punch line in the comments.

A new report shows government workers are absent 50% more than private sector ones. What do they do with the time off?

46 Comments

  1. Polishing up the details on their collective alter-ego, SuperVisor – faster than a speeding investigation, more powerful than an outraged public, able to leap stack of laws with a single waiver, fighting a never-ending battle to suppress truth, subvert justice, and protect the union way.

  2. Since they get all their personal business, leisure activities, tv watching, reading, smoking, drinking, sexual harassing, political campaigning, union thuggery, and sleeping done while they are at work, I can’t imagine what they do when they don’t show up. It probably involves torturing small animals or molesting children, you know, so they can keep their edge.

  3. A new report shows government workers are absent 50% more than private sector ones. What do they do with the time off?

    …produce useless government reports

    …organize communities

    …spy on everyone

    …tend to Michelle’s garden

    …blame bush

  4. …wash the blood of conservative bloggers off their government registered vehicles.

    …practice acting patriotic for the after-revolution purge.

    …act as guides for the blind tunnel dwelling marsupials that are elected democrats.

    …it always involves Nancy Pelosi, Henry Waxman and gravity boots and you really don’t want to know more than that.

    …torture technique training for the coming Spanish Speaker’s Inquisition.

  5. Spend all day calling up people and asking if their refrigerator’s running or calling drug stores and asking if they have Prince Albert in a can. (Yes, I am admitting that I’m old.)

  6. They travel the country repeatedly voting Democrat in every local, state and federal election they can find. (It’s not like they have to prove residence or even citizenship to participate in an election, and d@mn you for a racist for even thinking such a thing.)

  7. A new report shows government workers are absent 50% more than private sector ones. What do they do with the time off?

    Try to steal Anonymiss’ best cookie recipes!

    Attend Cub day games.

    Hookers and Blow.

    Same thing while at work, nothing.

    Return to the mother pod to be debriefed by their Liberal alien masters and be programmed with the next steps for world domination.

  8. Toddle along to the nearest rabid leftwing group and sell them confidential information on rightwing groups, which information they’ve taken from their government. Then they go back to work and enjoy the promotion. Not that I’m bitter . . .

  9. Pingback: IMAO » Blog Archive » You’ve Been Judged!

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